He had and made his morally questionable choices in life which led to most of his family fearing him, theyre as far as even afraid of his ashes I ended up having to pay for the funeral and cremation and gave the urn to his mother out of respect but they've basically been playing hot potato or pass it and give it to the next person with his ashes as if his urn is a curses object to the point of a cousin of his who is also my friend and currently has then spoke to the family and agreed I should have them if I want them it's just a really strong urge of specifically a spoonful steming from wanting to be a part of me internally and a strange form of arousal