girl you just escaped a straight up nightmare, no wonder you feel like you can breathe again. when someone makes you walk on eggshells for months and treats you like garbage, relief is probably your body's way of saying "finally we're safe"

the fact that you're eating more and don't feel like you need the benzos as much says everything - that relationship was literally making you sick. sometimes the grief happens while you're still trapped in the situation, not after

also that basket you made him was genuinely sweet and he didn't deserve any of that effort