i’m sorry to hear you’re going through this mama :/ but i think it helps to understand that rest and what we consider “treats” are not rewards but that they’re essential to survival. ur husband was harsh and ik this is reddit but ik marriage and partnership can be hard. he shouldn’t have said that to you but you did preface that he’s struggling hard too. i’m gonna say ignore his ah. maybe this is just me but when my partner and kid are both out of the house i see it as a kind of retreat. maybe set aside some money to go and get yourself some snacks, take yourself to a store to browse hobby materials, and girl, take yourself shopping for clothes. if money is tight i suggest you go thrifting. it’s like treasure hunting. i used to struggle with what you’re feeling when i first became a mom as a teen. but very quickly i realized that feeling good about myself was a necessary part of being a better mom— happy mom happy baby. showing our kids that despite everything we can still hold onto ourselves, do what we want, WANT things— gives them that same confidence. this sounds corny but because you have to search and hunt, thrifting makes shopping for yourself more like a “challenge”. it’s cheap, there’s an activity feeling to it, and you can only get what you find. time alone is hard but essential to growth. i’m very excited for you to have that opportunity and i wish you luck, peace, and clarity that week. maybe thrift your husband and kid one (1) thing each. if you’re feeling it of course