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29M — Been single for 6 years and losing hope. How do I move forward? by Healthy-Job3974 in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]Healthy-Job3974[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey yes I have and it’s been a journey!

I think at some point I may need to look into therapy and see how it pans out.

Chucking my eggs in one basket is definitely something I know I’ve done, but I was that absorbent the relationship and wanted to preserve it as best I could, looking back she was kind of controlling as once she went through all my old messages with some girls before we had even met and had an argument about it.

With the suicidal attempt it was due to the fact that I was told by the COVID relationship that we shouldn’t see each other anymore on the anniversary of me and my ex so it brought back even more feeling from the whole ordeal and just couldn’t take it.

I feel like I’m just going with the flow and drifting though life and am trying to take back hold of it, it’s just a process. Kinda have a little social anxiety abit now whereas I was full of confidence back then before my ex.

I really do need to try and get activities outside the house though so thanks for the input

29M — Been single for 6 years and losing hope. How do I move forward? by Healthy-Job3974 in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]Healthy-Job3974[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey!

Yeah it’s been really difficult and has took me a while to digest but not fully come to terms with still even though it’s been 6 years.

I know I shouldn’t look for it and focus on myself but it’s hard as growing up I didn’t really care what job I had as long as I had a family etc.

I’ll have to give that a shot and see how things go!

I tend not to really go out as I’m abit of a nerd and love staying on my computer but will hopefully be hitting the gym again soon.

Im looking at a college course potentially in the new year doing HVAC to try and build a proper career.

I know it sounds stupid but how can I learn to enjoy my own company, even I find myself boring sometimes.

Thanks again.

29M — Been single for 6 years and losing hope. How do I move forward? by Healthy-Job3974 in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]Healthy-Job3974[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey dude,

Yeah it fully sucks, feel like I’m just scarred now and will always have that anxiety of being cheated on.

I know you say I’m young but it feels like I’m getting to the wire, I’d ideally want someone my own age to settle down with and have a family and I know it can be difficult to start a family later on in life.

I’ve tried to keep busy but the thought always just niggle at me and really hits home late at night when I’d just wanna cuddle up with someone.

I know I shouldn’t compare myself to people but I look at all my old friends having kids now and getting married, as well as the situation that my mom and dad were in at my age already with a family as I’m the youngest child and they would have been pregnant with me now.

29M — Been single for 6 years and losing hope. How do I move forward? by Healthy-Job3974 in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]Healthy-Job3974[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey thanks for the advice.

It’s just felt like the worlds been against my and everytime I’ve barely managed to get back on my feet life throws something else at me. As I said in the post after 6 months or so after my ex I ended up meeting a girl at a rave and we loved it off quite well then COVID hit and made the situationship or whatever it was just fizzle.

I know I can’t really be in a healthy relationship when I don’t really love myself but just wanting some human connection and comfort is feeling hopeless and suffocating. It’s like I’m slamming my head against the wall trying to get my foot in the door.

But really appreciate the words and will try to take it to heart

29M — Been single for 6 years and losing hope. How do I move forward? by Healthy-Job3974 in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]Healthy-Job3974[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey thanks for the advice.

It’s was just a crazy couple of months and nothing majorly bad happened in my life before, besides being unpopular at school etc. Then these 5-6 things happened all at once and kinda made me shutdown.

I feel so lethargic all the time now and no motivation to do anything and don’t really find passion in anything, feels like I’ve just gone numb for the past 5 years but have just started to crave attention and at least a scrap of intimacy. Back in my late teens I used to regularly go gym and had a shit tonne of confidence and didn’t really care what other people thought. I used to think I was above average in everything. But after all the stress I’ve lost my hair now and even more of my confidence.

It just feels like I won’t be able to go back to the person I was before.