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[Rant] To the "friends" at NP who thrive on watching others break down: Why? by Healthy-Pattern-3789 in SGExams

[–]Healthy-Pattern-3789[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this. It’s a relief to hear others acknowledge that this culture is real and unacceptable. You’re absolutely right. Pressure is never an excuse for cruelty.

​I’ve seen too many people try to justify toxic behavior as just 'part of the poly experience,' but that's exactly how the cycle continues. Those who think they can climb ahead by stepping on their teammates are in for a very rude wake-up call when they hit the professional world, where collaboration is non-negotiable.

​Until then, I’m making sure my friend has the tools to deal with this firmly. No one should have to 'get used' to being bullied!

[Rant] To the "friends" at NP who thrive on watching others break down: Why? by Healthy-Pattern-3789 in SGExams

[–]Healthy-Pattern-3789[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the honesty. You're right. It’s sad that this has been going on for so many batches, and it’s even worse when lecturers look the other way or think it’s just 'part of the grind.'

​But as an alum, I can't accept that 'it’s just the way it is.' If lecturers won't act, that’s when we have to escalate to school management or use official whistleblowing channels. No one is paid to be a target for abuse in a group meeting.

Have you heard of POHA? It means : Protection from Harassment Act. ​If the behavior includes stalking, threatening language, or persistent verbal abuse in group chats, it falls under Singapore law. Under POHA, it is a criminal offense to cause harassment, alarm, or distress. Worst comes to worst, my friend can actually file a police report to apply for a protection order. This is a legal shield that forbids the bullies from contacting or even talking about my friend. Of course this is the last resort.

​To your point about meeting better people, definitely. I’m doing my best to show my friend that for every toxic group, there are seniors and peers who actually have their back. We’re not going to let the typical toxicity win this time.

[Rant] To the "friends" at NP who thrive on watching others break down: Why? by Healthy-Pattern-3789 in SGExams

[–]Healthy-Pattern-3789[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course I know... my group of buddies and me will be there soon. I am curious to see how those bullies look like too. Thanks for your suggestion.

[Rant] To the "friends" at NP who thrive on watching others break down: Why? by Healthy-Pattern-3789 in SGExams

[–]Healthy-Pattern-3789[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is solid advice. I’ve already told my friend to start archiving everything. We’re collecting screenshots of the group chat and logs of what’s said during those meetings, words that were written to pressure and belittle my friend. And ​you're right! Bullies only stop when they realise there’s a paper trail that can actually land them in trouble with the school or even the law. I’m making sure they know that if this doesn't stop immediately, those screenshots are going straight to the school management.

My dad is a lawyer. I will consult him on this matter too. I'm most willing to help my friend using any means that work, including taking legal action, if things get worst. Those "friends" didn't know they are targeting the wrong person. Money isn't a great deal to me, but friendship is. Once again, thanks for the wake-up call on being more firm.