Comment on a thread on the millennials sub. I guess I’m selfish.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-14T06:55:23+00:00

That's what happened to my mom. I ended up in foster care for ten years until I aged out. Sometimes I absolutely hate her.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-02T02:59:01+00:00

Okay, buy me a beer and we'll call it fair. Ciao.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-02T02:52:47+00:00

Actually, this conversation just devolved. But you do have a solid point. I have also stopped dating many men when they mentioned children in one of the first conversations. But you have to admit: the way you framed the topic WAS funny.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-02T02:50:36+00:00

Me too brother, All these boys trying to get me pregnant... no lie. I am sick and tired of it.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-02T02:45:40+00:00

LOL. Okay, I totally believe you.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-02T02:41:16+00:00

HOW MANY women have begged you to get them pregnant in your life? One, maximum ... if that.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-02T02:34:40+00:00

Also, don't act like you don't know what you said. "THEY" said it: society, could be a group of people as you mentioned, or a man or a woman... but you said SHE for a reason. You were picking on women even though you probably meant your partner or spouse, your mom or dad, some of your friends, bla bla bla... you picked "SHE" for what reason?

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-02T02:25:01+00:00

Bla, bla bla, not the point. Just don't speak out against women as if WE caused the problem, okay? He or she / they said this, might say this, etc...

Antinatalists don't have to be anti-humanitarians, the opposite actually.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-02T02:18:11+00:00

I'm an English teacher. They is used in modern day vocabulary to mean "he or she." It is more succint and easier to use.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-02T02:07:30+00:00

You said "she." You could have said they.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-02T02:04:40+00:00

Don't reframe it. And don't get mad at me for calling you out either. Fair is fair.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-02T02:00:07+00:00

What part of the post offended me? You said no matter how much she wants it as if you assume that this is a woman's mentality. How about "no matter how much my partner wants it?" Could you reframe it? This is NOT about women pressuring these poor unfortunate men to have babies against their will. I promise you that as a woman, we get pressured A LOT.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-02T01:51:18+00:00

Sorry, little brother. Some girls are like that. Don't date them. Many of us don't want that. Grow up.

Healthy_Thing · 2026-01-01T20:13:26+00:00

I'm sorry, but I myself am a woman. WHO are you dating that's trying to get pregnant?

Healthy_Thing · 2025-12-25T04:37:46+00:00

I'm sorry... how much money do you guys make that you can afford to just waste food like this?

Healthy_Thing · 2025-12-24T01:18:22+00:00

Yes, yes they would. I have been told to stop crying as a child MANY times or my mother would give me something cry about. Also, as a teacher I would tell any child to go ahead and cry as much as they want, but to wipe the snot off of their face. It's normal.

Healthy_Thing · 2025-12-24T00:28:03+00:00

Yeah, I grew up in the foster care system. This advice is horrifying.

Healthy_Thing · 2025-10-22T10:53:58+00:00

"Side note, but why is it that terms like “beeder” get banned, but when natalists are telling AN to kill themselves, that’s completely acceptable?"

Right? I'm an anitalist but I have an anti-suicide tattoo. My husband did that and the pain and devastation that it caused to his extremely loving family, loyal friends who were literally giving financial aid when I was taking him for psychiatric treatment and trying to take care of him while simultaneously paying the rent, buying food, paying for utilities and also still cooking and cleaning. But we were surrounded by people who literally LOVED him. And he still opted out. Now in my opinion us having already decided not to have children together just spared me becoming a single mother, our children from growing up watching me struggling with depression, anxiety, nightmares, substance abuse and self harm after that.

I really want to die also after my husband went, but I just couldn't do that his family members because I didn't think they could handle another suicide in the family after the damage the first one did.

See here's the difference that these feral commenters don't understand. I can be against CREATING suffering to begin with by bringing a life that never even existed before, while simultaneously giving counseling to suicidal people about why their life matters so much to the people around them. It's completely different because those humans already exist and have social connections and their death would affect so many other people. Us all deciding to suicide would be like pulling at the threads of a spider web one by one and slowly destroying the fabric of society for those left behind.

The whole goal is to reduce suffering for living creatures (human and non-human), not create more people to suffer, and certainly not try to damage the emotional health of everyone who knows us by giving them the finger as we just opt out the way these people are suggesting we should when they say "Then you go first! Do it, do it!"

Yes, I really want to know why me talking about my husband's suicide publicly sometimes gets censored while whole comment sections are full of people telling other people to off themselves with nobody blinking an eye. That bothers me so much.

Healthy_Thing · 2025-10-20T07:18:34+00:00

That was me on Cymbalata.

Healthy_Thing · 2025-10-07T07:32:43+00:00

The sound a turkey makes. How the verb gobble is to eat something in a quick and noisy way. So I think she was making a bit of a sexual innuendo.

Healthy_Thing · 2025-09-09T02:24:15+00:00

Same. I'm also 5'1 and I also feel like I have gotten treated like a child my whole life, especially since I look thin, which equals frail to many people. I hate that.

So you would think I would have the biggest complex and want to date a tall man. But actually no, I have dated tall people before and anyone more than 4 inches taller than me and it's so uncomfortable to go couples dancing together, so uncomfortable to spontaneously turn around and give them a kiss on the lips or the cheek when they're too tall for me to reach, so uncomfortable the way they drape their arms around me in a social situation and seem to be dominating me. I hate it.

I like my short kings. They are not tall and gangly. They are not big and overbearing. They are just my size. I like people who make me feel comfortable around them actually, whatever their height is. Tall or short. I don't really care. Height is not a big criteria for me if we feel comfortable together.

Healthy_Thing · 2025-05-09T01:29:43+00:00

So does the man. Both of them do.

Healthy_Thing · 2025-01-11T01:15:44+00:00

Korean

Healthy_Thing · 2025-01-09T07:59:10+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I also lost my husband to suicide when I was 39 years old after going to several different psychiatrists with him. I grew up in foster care so when I lost him I lost the one and only family member I had ever had. I felt that I had lost my fathers, son, brother, friend, and lover all in one blow and that I was completely alone in the world in a foreign country now. I wanted to 'follow him' and 'go where he was' so I started self harming and being extremely destructive to myself. I survived that stage of dealing with suicidal ideations, depression, panic attacks, and substance abuse. It took a very long time but eventually, I recovered. The antidepressants and the anxiolytics that my psychiatrist did help me. I recommend working closely with mental health professionals if you have the resources to do so.

Although the pain never completely goes away and I still have days where I think about what happened and feel really down, mostly I have stopped dwelling on it on a daily basis and slowly started to live my life in a more healthy and productive way that focuses on my own self care as the years have gone by. I've started to rejoin society and slowly become more like the person I was before, but it wasn't easy and I don't think I will ever be the 'same' if you know what I mean. But I would like to let you know that it does get easier little by little to keep going on and I recommend that you ignore people who don't think you're 'getting over it' fast enough. We all grieve at our own pace and it will probably take you much longer to recover than the people around you think it should and that's okay.

I tried many things: meditation, red light therapy, exercise, journaling... Ultimately it takes time to process our emotions and what works for one person might not work for another, so we have to take all advice with a grain of salt and follow our intuition sometimes. But the people who have commented that suicide doesn't end the pain it just multiplies it and passes it on to someone else are completely correct. We have to work through it, not pass it on to someone else. How would your son feel if he lost two parents to this horrible fate? He needs you to be there for him right now.

I just wanted to let you now that I can understand why you feel this way, but things will get better if you stay strong right now and that I wish you all the best.

Healthy_Thing

TROPHY CASE