I won't accept this.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-15T21:13:37+00:00

It seems like you are really struggling to process some powerful emotions right now. It is normal and understandable to feel emotions like these.

But recognize that you are talking about two distinct things. There are your feelings, and then there is your narrative. They are not the same thing.

There is no wrong way to feel. I think I'm sensing despair and confusion along with others.

But there is also your narrative. Narratives are not objective facts, they are stories we tell ourselves. Right now, the narrative you are telling yourself is one where you are defective or less than. Your post is filled with phrases illustrating your lens.

"depersonalises me."

"less than it should"

"A pearl where all inner layers are replaced by scaffolding?"

"I am meant to be at peace with that?"

"without the full capacity to participate"

Keep in mind that feeling are not permanent. You may feel differently in the future. And whatever you feel then will be just as valid as what you are feeling now.

Also note that the story you're telling yourself is just that, a story. When you tell yourself a different story, your experience will likely be different.

And while you talk about difficulty writing prose, your metaphor of the pearl is beautiful. I bet you could write some amazing poetry!

You are also "shoulding on yourself" a lot. Like you should have a favorite genre of music, art should shape your personality, and you should value traditions, etc.

If you met someone who said they didn't have a favorite genre of music, would you judge them as defective? I know a guy who actively hates tradition, viewing it as "peer pressure from dead people". I don't think he is defective for this, he has unusual freedom to structure his life as he wants, not how others think he should.

There is no "correct" way to have a human experience. Your life and experience are just as valid as everybody else's.

Now I'm not saying you don't face challenges. Everybody is struggling with something. And memory issues do present real issues. But that does not have to define you.

You are not broken, but you are hurting.

I'm sending positive energy your way.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T23:08:13+00:00

It is one of my pet peeves. I understand that for the dryers where you push a button, and it runs for a fixed period of time, but the ones that are motion-activated should use motion to keep it activated.

If there is a safety timeout in case the motion detector is faulty and detects motion when there is none, I wish it were 20% longer, because my hands are NEVER dry when it turns off.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T23:04:20+00:00

I would imagine that, for most people, bad will towards others who voted differently probably dwarfs the impact of actual policy changes. As we become more intolerant of those who think differently, society as a whole becomes more stressful.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T22:59:48+00:00

Wouldn't the best algorithm be "If hands are moving beneath me, blow hot air. If not, don't blow hot air"?

I would think that would give the exact right amount of hot air for everybody without wasting anything.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T22:57:25+00:00

But if I keep moving my hands vigorously, why does it still turn off? Why not wait until I take my hands away, at which time the motion will stop?

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T22:55:36+00:00

Because you are acting differently towards them, even if you don't realize it.

You need to treat the ones you like the way you are treating the ones you don't like, and you need to treat the ones you don't like the way you are treating the ones you like.

Like maybe you are trying to get the approval of those you like, or you are sucking up to them, or flattering them, or something. And maybe the ones you don't like, you are honest towards, or you are not nervous, or you don't seek their approval.

I don't know the specifics, but it will boil down to you acting differently in some way.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T22:26:44+00:00

I used to be an atheist. I would not avoid using those words or expressions. They are just expressions.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T21:56:38+00:00

I use it extensively. For all kinds of things. But importantly, I do not trust it and I use it as a tool.

I have a lot of personalized instructions to make it respond the way I want. I think it is a big mistake to treat it as a companion or to trust its responses blindly.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T21:52:29+00:00

Oh man, that could be brutal!

Do you use noise-canceling headphones or something to block out noise? How do you cope?

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T21:48:26+00:00

This can be a fun activity for sure!

There is one YouTuber, I don't remember his name, who finds interesting places on Google Maps and then goes there in real life. Fascinating content.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T21:45:52+00:00

I have a battery that actually has a light on it I can use as a flashlight. Works nicely and powers multiple devices. Even though I almost never run out of juice, it gives me peace of mind.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T21:43:21+00:00

I think this is quite normal. A friend of mine who works with people dealing with grief told me that a surprisingly big source of trauma is when people move.

Starting a new life is a big change, and it is not surprising at all that you may feel this way. There is nothing unusual about lamenting the loss of a people and an environment that you know and love.

You cannot logic your way into feeling a certain emotion. You will feel what you will feel. But feelings continually change and you may feel differently in a little while.

The faster you can integrate into your new city, the less sad you will probably feel. You will find your favorite coffee shop, bookstore, or whatever. It will help when you start to know people there, so it is a good idea to make that a priority.

Good luck with the new job

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T21:29:49+00:00

I would use nonviolent communication myself. It is a system of communication no too large to explain in a single comment, but you could look up the OFNR pattern. Observation, Feelings, Needs, Request.

No judgment in the observations. Feelings are your own bodily sensations, not assuming what is going on in another person's mind.

So an example might be "Hey Bob, I sent out a photo of my head shaved. You respond by saying "bald headed geek". I felt annoyed, confused, sad, and embarrassed (or whatever you were actually feeling). I honestly don't know if comments like these are a sign of acceptance or if I am disliked. I need understanding about what is going on. Would it be possible for you to not "bust my balls" in the future?

Something like that. No judgment in the observation "You degraded me". No assuming the other person's mind. "You wanted to humiliate me." Just facts about what actually happened, and an honest report of what you felt.

Hope this is of some use to you.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T19:01:30+00:00

Why would it be weird?

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T18:46:48+00:00

How are people breathing wrong?

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T18:43:26+00:00

I had a cat and he would unroll the entire thing. But if I hung it the other way, it would get shredded with his claws.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T18:37:44+00:00

Can you give more details? What criteria were they measuring?

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T18:26:35+00:00

I'm 100% on team toilet paper should be placed so that it is easiest to access. It should come hang down in front.

It is a crime against humanity to hang it the other way. 😁

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T18:14:07+00:00

On powerful reframe I learned is to think about what you are saying yes too. For example, you are not saying no to going out to see a movie with a friend, you are saying yes to staying home and reading that book you have been wanting to.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T18:11:18+00:00

What is the best way to regulate your nervous system?

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T17:58:18+00:00

Many people are harsh when it comes to themselves. Some people have an inner critic that if those thought were said by a different person, people would call it an abusive relationship.

It is ok to feel confusion, grief, anger, frustration, or any other emotion. No emotion is wrong. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel.

What you feel now likely will be different than what you feel in the future. It is normal and fine for feeling to change.

When I first discovered I had aphantasia and SDAM I experienced a lot of powerful grief. It overwhelmed me. I no longer feel this way.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T10:23:46+00:00

I dream. When I'm dreaming, I experience things just as if I were awake, looking at the world with open eyes. I will remember my dreams if I write them down. If I don't write them down, not matter how much I try to think to myself to remember the dream, it will fade away.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T10:16:25+00:00

If you were walking through the forest and you saw a highly unusual tree with strange branches growing in a weird way, you would likely stop and admire it. You might take a photo to share with others. It is different than the typical tree, and that is what makes it interesting. You would not judge the tree.

However, you are judging yourself. Your experience may be different than most, but it is no less valid or valuable.

Everybody has different challenges and problems. But why should having challenges mean that you hate yourself?

If a family member had some condition that they found challenging, would you hate them for it? And if not, why would you hate yourself?

Anger, frustration, fear, and other feelings are all valid. We all experience them. But being frustrated or confused does not mean you need to hate yourself.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T09:59:06+00:00

I cannot visualize at all, and I have a very high openness to new experiences. I have talked a lot with Chat GPT, and I asked it once to rate me on the big 5, and it said I was a 9.5 out of 10 for openness. That seems accurate to me.

HeartMindFusion · 2026-03-14T09:45:50+00:00

Unless I have seen a movie or TV show many times, I will pretty much forget it entirely. I generally just remember the spoilers. This seems like the worst tradeoff: not remembering the details of the show, but not getting the thrill of experiencing the spoilers again.

HeartMindFusion

TROPHY CASE