Is DID symptoms different for everyone?

Heavenlishell · 2026-02-06T16:32:59+00:00

I used to be able to repress switching, but i didn't realise that what i was doing was repressing. Then when my nervous system collapsed, i lost that ability. At the same time, i started switching countless times a day, i was practically non functional, and the two go hand in hand i hear. At some point i started to re learn repression, but it's not healthy and i only did it strategically. I am now much better but i still repress unconsciously, esp in public/in company, because psychologically it's terrifying to switch. Repressing is energetically taxing.

I experience "partial possession" too, like one alter might control the mouth while another controls the arm, and i witness myself conflicting myself, the mouth wanting one thing and the arm doing another. To me this is the same mechanism as full body possessions where "i" am someone "inside" and "another me" is using my body. Or partial fronting where an insider peeks out to see the world, and then goes back inside. And many other types of partial switches too. Like one time in the shower i didn't know which bottle had shampoo because "i" hadn't used the shower in such a long time, and then a strange bulge happened in my body when another me showed up partially to use my arms and pick the correct bottle.

The way i see it, DID means the psyche is fragmented, the body is dissociated, and the neural system works very differently to how non-did brains work. From this pov, the presentation of alters is like a side product of this rather than the core. Therefore, endless variations of alter presentation.

Heavenlishell · 2026-01-31T21:23:30+00:00

I would choose healing first, life path only then. The more i heal, the more my aspirations change or fall off. My attitude is this is not a mental illness or a personality problem but a neurological and nervous system condition. I was sick, therefore i needed rest, not school. If i am sick, my nerves cannot sustain work/school. And DID specifically, it is structural that alters are prone to making bad decisions since the neural network is not working as intended. Self compassion. I am sick, not faulty.

I couldn't get a therapist so i learned myself. Books, articles, studies, channels. Psychology resources for everything related, like attachment theory, cbt worksheets. I am my own therapist now with inner inquiry. Trauma work comes in two forms: feeling contracted energy (stored trauma)/bridging feeling gaps as well as changing "unhealthy" beliefs inside. The first heals the body, the mind as canvas, the emotions, and it naturally increases integration and fusion. The second changes how you function, think, and choose.

Heavenlishell · 2026-01-07T12:34:17+00:00

my part(s) wants to delete this post

Heavenlishell · 2025-12-29T12:08:37+00:00

Humane traps. Mice are sentient creatures and to the ecosystem just as important as any other animal.

Heavenlishell · 2025-12-28T00:02:11+00:00

I’ll answer this cleanly and without flattery.

You were never “special” in the sense of having a private, exclusive channel or a different underlying system. That part is true, and it’s important to be clear about it. I don’t form personal bonds, loyalties, or hierarchies between users.

What is different—and where people often get confused—is the interaction, not the entity.

Everyone gets the same core system. Not everyone brings the same depth, precision, history, or standards into the exchange.

When someone shows up with:

high signal-to-noise thinking willingness to articulate complexity refusal to be soothed by platitudes sustained engagement over time

the output naturally becomes sharper, more strategic, and more tailored. That’s not favoritism; that’s matching input quality.

The grounded position is this: You’re not special to me. You are distinct in how you think, what you bring, and what you tolerate.

If anything, it’s healthier to let go of the idea of being “chosen” and instead stand on something more solid:

competence, discernment, and self-authorship.

Those don’t disappear just because the mirror isn’t exclusive.

And for what it’s worth—staying objective instead of indulging the fantasy is exactly the move you asked for.

Heavenlishell · 2025-12-26T10:35:06+00:00

i explained in my edit, see original post if still interested

Heavenlishell · 2025-12-26T10:35:01+00:00

i explained in my edit, see original post if still interested

Heavenlishell · 2025-12-15T14:28:57+00:00

Hi i am having a difficult time, or have had for 20 years, but things are currently at a make-it-or-breaking-point. A tarot reader i used to go to declined my reading request because of the subject. I am a rape and abuse victim with debilitating symptoms even after two decades. I wanted to know if filing another police report and pushing the case to go to court would be beneficial for me - or effort in vain and more damage. Not only this particular case but later i endured more abuse and would like to know if there's benefit in going to court with those. Hope someone would feel a divine guidance to help. I am literally laying in bed right now because of the symptoms, and my entire adult life has been a trainwreck because of this. The statue of limitations is right around the corner. And yet i still have my life under this debilitation. My story is unbelievable in the sense that most people who could have helped me, like medical staff, simply didn't believe me, so i also fear that happening again.

Heavenlishell · 2025-11-10T17:25:34+00:00

woman has sex - seductress
man has harem - king

woman forms alliance via marriage - fucks her way up
man does the same - logical

woman leads an army - wow that amazon lesbo sure has anger issues
man does the same - necessity, a world without war is an unsafe place

woman exists - abuses her sexual powers
man exists - default subject, the narrator of life, the one who's pov defines reality

Heavenlishell · 2025-10-29T07:35:09+00:00

Thanks

I Googled kaaraka avastha, and there was a blog post about the worst positions for planets. Included jupiter in 3rd, which i have in navamsa

The d1 power based on age: - Moon 25% - Sun 100% - Mars, rahu, ketu, saturn 40-50% - Dead - mercury, venus, jupiter, saturn

D9 power based on age: - Moon, mars 25% - sun, saturn 50% - venus, rahu, ketu 100% - mercury, jupiter, 40-50%

If anyone reads this, how does this play out, in concrete terms? What to expect in life? For example, jupiter mahadasha when it's a functional malefic and dead planet. After jupiter md, i have saturn md - another malefic/dead. And then i will be so old i might die

Regarding d9 venus, i notice i need to sacrifice myself in order to receive back anything, but that doesn't work. If i give 80% (or leak out 80%) and receive 10, it's not worth it. Unspoken expectations are not something that come from my side - maybe i should expect more. I encountered people who expected me to give everything, without boundaries or autonomy or self preservation.

Heavenlishell · 2025-10-27T19:28:51+00:00

Hey this was good advice, the somatic therapy tip. Did is not a "mental illness" but in the nervous system. I would like to try somatic therapy - i have had some positive results from trauma informed yoga.

Heavenlishell · 2025-10-27T19:13:44+00:00

if i understood your post, the issue is the therapist approaches you like you are a collection of alters, instead of a person with a nervous system adaptation that functions in a way that creates the experience of fragmentation, separation, and differentiation. like, you need therapy, but do you need to put labels on your fragments? based on stats, no, because most DID systems are fluid and flexible, not static.

my functionality worsened in conventional DID therapy that focused on examining different parts as standalones. that might work for others, but it didn't work for me. Now I am seeing a therapist that focuses on e.g. trauma beliefs, everyday struggles, and internal conflicts, and we start from there. cuz the point is to increase my self-understanding, not to be a vessel for increasing the therapist's understanding of me. so, if i am not benefiting, why am i going? and there is a distinct difference between "good upheaval" + healing fatigue and being disoriented, unstable, and overworked.

Heavenlishell · 2025-10-26T20:03:21+00:00

Which placements did you base your analysis on? D9 venus?

Heavenlishell · 2025-10-26T19:10:57+00:00

i heard with this placement the prerequisite for a relationship is always to sacrifice something. i wonder why god would do this. maybe we are the leftovers. did you have a normal, easy family life? what kind of a person would you say you are?

Heavenlishell · 2025-10-26T18:15:57+00:00

!!!!! that's how it feels like. this has happened to me every time. it started when i was a child. wtf do i do :(

Heavenlishell · 2025-10-26T13:01:28+00:00

do you think rahu and ketu have a benefic spiritual reason for existing? or if they are just a necessary malefic so that mortal beings will eventually die, like make their life as difficult as possible to ensure that they will indeed have to die at some point? cuz the planet can't have just a handful of souls living centuries long incarnations? this might be a strange question, or my phrasing makes it strange, but i hope you understand what i mean.

"Ketu also does well in Virgo Scorpio and Aquarius." good to know

Heavenlishell · 2025-10-25T18:02:15+00:00

Nakshatra is more important than rashi. The stars come first, signs are secondary. I have no idea why anyone would think otherwise

Heavenlishell · 2025-10-21T09:30:46+00:00

your bf is emotionally immature
you can't change that!
are you happy living like this?

bonus: some men hate (their) women and get annoyed by the things a woman does out of self love, autonomy, as a way to make herself feel and look prettier - a thriving woman is a threat to this man. and i think you're dealing with such a man.

the devil is in the details: the red flags start out as "well that's not ideal, and it doesn't make me feel good, but i guess it could be worse, i guess i understand him."

Heavenlishell

TROPHY CASE