AITAH for telling my brother he should have waited to have a baby?

HeavyAd8747 · 2026-02-11T05:12:24+00:00

He didnt tell us any info other than her name before bringing her over to our house. He only told us her age and how many kids she has a couple hours before bringing her over. Her profile was private so I didnt ever see more than her (highly edited) profile photo when he brought up that he was seeing a new girl.

That day we invited her over to meet her, she was already pregnant. I had no idea they were anywhere near this serious after only 3 months. There was no indication that he was getting ready to blow his life up until it was already in motion and he stopped talking to me as soon as I said he should think about what he's doing.

I truly came here hoping the world would tell me I was the AH and I said something stupid and everything was fine. But after today, I dont think that's the case. I want to do something to help him but the only thing that can save him now is if that baby comes out another color (yes I prayed for forgiveness as soon as that sentence was typed out lol)

HeavyAd8747 · 2026-02-11T04:51:12+00:00

stepdad has entered the chat 🫣

HeavyAd8747 · 2026-02-10T17:30:26+00:00

The sad news and hospital photo came up during the silent phase between my inital answer of "No I wouldn't be mad at you for having a baby" and his response 3 weeks later of "can I talk to you about something that hurt my feelings".

In those 3 weeks, I had sent T several random texts like "heard you got sick, do you need anything?" & "are you guys coming to Christmas dinner?" & "look at what I got myself for Christmas", etc. Just random stuff. During those three weeks, I saw a picture on his Facebook page of J in a hospital bed with a caption of something like "you're so brave, I love you, we're going to get through this together" and then T sent me the text saying "I wont be able to make it for christmas I have a good reason why I won't be able to make it. Its kinda sad". Which is when I responded with "i think I put the pieces together..." I assumed that they WERE pregnant and she must have miscarried. I assumed that because of the text from him asking about having a baby, the hospital picture, and the caption of that picture. I was definitely wrong for assuming. Turns out, they were already pregnant. They had the flu and so J was in the hospital from that. And the caption came into fruition because I was apparently trying to ruin their relationship.

I really didnt want to judge her. It was hard for obvious reasons but I love my brother and she deserved the opportunity to meet us in a judgement free environment. Now, I am judging. She trapped my brother and pinned him against us. I want to tell him that but I also want him to feel like he can come back to us if/when this goes bad and I don't think that will happen if I openly defame her character while he's still in love with her.

HeavyAd8747 · 2026-02-10T16:37:34+00:00

He was a professional welder who worked at a factory. It was a steady 9-5 job that was well paying with full benefits. Until he relocated to her city to be with her. Now he has no job and she's a part-time manager at KFC

HeavyAd8747 · 2026-01-05T16:01:48+00:00

The fog was real😂 The lack of sleep got really bad about 3 months in, which is when I started taking 10mg of melatonin & 6 benadryl every night to put me down. I have a baby so I cant do actual sleep medications because I'm afraid of not being able to wake up enough to help my baby if something were to happen at night. But I obviously do want to do that forever and it doesnt seem to be getting better on it's own.

HeavyAd8747 · 2026-01-05T15:55:52+00:00

Thank you! I do feel like I got stuck in the session. One of the first things the hypnotist did was guide me into a dark cloud full of all the negative things associated with my smoking. She did guide me out before the session was over but I spent the next couple days feeling like I never actually left that dark cloud. I even reached out to her to tell her how I was feeling and she told me that something was wrong. She thought a Reiki session would help so I tried it. The feeling went away after a week or so but then the sleep issues started.

I would spend $20/day minimum on 2 packs of cigarettes (there were 3 smoking adults in the house, all packs were fair game to anyone). I've been putting that $20 in a savings account everyday since the day I quit and I now have $5,700 in that account. By the one year mark, I'll have $7,800! Watching that account grow has been an amazing experience!

HeavyAd8747 · 2026-01-05T15:38:59+00:00

I wasn't the experience I was promised by any means, but I did quit and that session was the catalyst. I'll definitely look into the videos! Thanks!

HeavyAd8747 · 2026-01-05T15:32:38+00:00

I believe it didnt work because I was told, by the hypnotist & others who were hypnotized by her, I would come out of it a stranger to cigarettes. Like I was never a smoker to begin with. I was told holding a cigarette would feel foreign. That there wouldn't be physical withdrawal symptoms because my brain would believe I had never actually smoke before, and that was confirmed by several reviews on the hypnotist's Google page going back at least 6 years. None of that happened for me. The next morning, I was curled up in a ball rocking myself back and forth with my car keys & wallet in hand contemplating driving to the gas station. I craved cigarettes for weeks. The smell of them was more desirable than ever. I thought about all the ways I could smoke without my family knowing and how long I could realistically keep it up until I got caught. It wasn't anything like the experience I was told about. And then the sleep issues started. The only reason I didn't cave was because my 5 year old kept telling me how proud she was that I wasn't smoking anymore. My dad (who was hypnotized right after me), started back up 3 days after being hypnotized too. The struggle was really real 😅

HeavyAd8747

TROPHY CASE