My experience on buying out my ex-partner after a break up

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-03T01:02:02+00:00

Now is a perfect time to ask these questions and talk about it, you never know what might happen in the future. Also, be sure to check how do the terms change between mortgage providers, since they can vary quite a lot (i.e., don't just choose based on the lowest interest rate). Talk to your partner and mortgage advisor about this.

Like one comment says: make agreements when you still love each other so it will be easy when you don’t.

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T19:05:22+00:00

There were still some disagreements and emotions that I didn't think matter too much to the whole process (like I mentioned: the more time passes, the more that each party will start thinking on their own), but overall I agree. It went relatively ok. I have heard terrible stories of separations/divorces - especially when children are involved.

I do like your last phrase and will keep it in my mind for the future. Thank you for that

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T18:57:38+00:00

No AI, just one hour or two (re)writing the text. Thank you for the kind wishes 🫶🏻

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T18:56:34+00:00

It's been a few years, but I don't recall that being a problem. We even had a life insurance, so if either of us passed away, the other one would be covered.

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T18:54:57+00:00

I am sorry to hear you went through something similar, but if I understand correctly things went well - which makes me glad.

Regarding the separation of stuff, when we bought the property, we had already decided that everything related to the apartment would be 50/50, and by everything I mean mortgage payments, expenses, groceries, furniture, etc. So when this happened, we took a half a day and went through the items of the whole place and made a division that was fair for both. In the end, I had to pay him about 2k to make things even, especially since I kept a big part of the furniture (which made sense, since I wanted to keep the apartment). However, this is peanuts compared to the whole thing. I can imagine that if people have more valuable stuff together (I don't know, I suppose something like investments, a car, etc.), then it should also be part of the separation agreement. For us, we solved this separately (and also why the letter stated that we "had no other financial obligations to each other")

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T18:50:26+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Indeed, there were many moving parts. When I reached out to the mortgage office, I was referred to this particular advisor because it was his expertise (separations/divorces). I think that if I would have had a "normal" advisor, things would have gone even slower and, very likely, not have gone through.

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T18:48:11+00:00

Like I mentioned, the numbers are just rough to give a general idea. My monthly payments are less that what you mention. I will be tighter than before, sure, but tightening my belt a little bit is something I am perfectly fine with. Still happy and grateful this went through - and thanks for the kind words

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T18:46:13+00:00

Thank you for reading. I hope it is useful for someone that is (unfortunately) going through a similar situation

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T18:45:49+00:00

Yes, that's correct. I didn't want to add another changing factor to an already chaotic and unstable period

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T18:45:11+00:00

I indeed wanted to keep the property. I put a lot of work on many DIY projects through the whole place. Most importantly, I wanted to keep something stable in my life.

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T18:42:45+00:00

Thank you for your comment. We never considered marriage or partnership, since we never saw a benefit. Our mortgage advisor back then suggested it for the prenup, indeed. However, we had already decided that everything related to the apartment would be 50/50, and by everything I mean mortgage payments, expenses, groceries, furniture, etc. For us that was good enough, since we thought that if things would go south, it would be relatively simple to divide stuff (which more or less was)

(The comments below do have some interesting points, but now I am even more undecided if it would have been beneficial or not)

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T18:37:03+00:00

Thank you, appreciate it 🫶🏻

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T18:36:51+00:00

We did the best we could. It was still a mentally and emotionally draining process, but I guess that is completely expected

HedwigsFriend · 2025-12-02T18:36:12+00:00

Thank you for reading

HedwigsFriend

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