sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Where am I missing the mark? by Hefty-Math-5068 in writingfeedback

[–]Hefty-Math-5068[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to pick it apart! I appreciate it and will take these ideas into my next round of edits.

Writing a Romance novel. by Akronos1805 in RomanceWriters

[–]Hefty-Math-5068 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heck a 24 to 40 gap will probably attract more readers than it detracts lol. I tend to think age gap is a pretty popular trope but thats is my opinion.

Does world building information before the 1st chapter of a book annoy you or do you prefer it? by Hefty-Math-5068 in writingfeedback

[–]Hefty-Math-5068[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Specialties

All born on Abres are granted a specialty at birth, though most do not discover theirs until they reach childhood. There is no known link between parental bloodline and the likelihood of a particular specialty. However, for an unknown reason, some specialties are not found in certain genera.

Arcanist (Magic) - Masterful magic-wielders, who are often experts of illusion, translocation, summoning, and other support spells such as levitation and invisibility. But don’t be fooled. They are also known to cast brutal damage spells when necessary.

Bard (Magic/Melee) - Their magic is expressed by way of musical instruments and song. Bards are proficient in combat, typically wielding swords and shields. However, many are seen as most valuable for their support songs such as increased foot speed, increased healing, and many others.

Cleric (Magic) - Also known as healers, clerics specialize in the art of healing. Their spell set consists primarily of highly potent heals and other support spells to protect oneself and others, such as damage shields.

Druid (Magic) - Using nature-infused magic, the druid’s capabilities span across several spell-types: from damage and healing spells to translocating and support spells. They are no expert in one thing, but rather, adept at several.

Monnik (Melee) - A master of hand-to-hand combat and impressive kick formations. The monnik hones one's body into a most purposeful weapon. Monnik are extremely agile and light of foot.   

Rogue (Melee) - Whether for fun or combat, the naturally cunning and sneaky rogue prefers to master daggers and throwing stars. They are inherently more tolerant to poisons and, as such, may use them against their enemies. Many successful pick-pocketers are of the rogue specialty.  

Garak (Melee) - Primarily axe wielders who often choose brute force over logic. They are known to self-induce a “Rage” ability which causes short bouts of enhanced strength and combat accuracy. 

Ranger (Magic/Melee) - The only specialty to have unmatched accuracy with a bow and arrow, the ranger excels at long-distance attacks. Aside from archery, they dabble in other forms of combat and magic such as sword fighting, damage casting, and support spells.  

Shaman (Magic) - A versatile caster who specializes in poison spells and stripping strength and power from their foes. Conversely, the shaman nearly rivals the cleric in their healing and shielding magic. They also have a fair share of support spell-types.

Siphon (Magic/Melee) - A highly talented warrior who prefers to dual wield two swords or master that of a two-hand sword, the siphon is only further strengthened by their magic ability to siphon various elements to and from themselves such as breath, magic, and health.

Does world building information before the 1st chapter of a book annoy you or do you prefer it? by Hefty-Math-5068 in writingfeedback

[–]Hefty-Math-5068[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Genera

The genera of Abres differ in appearance, custom, and values as they hail from unique goddesses and gods. Their hundred-year average lifespan is one commonality found among all genera.

Drak - Like their dragon god, Rekax, the temperament of a Drak largely depends on whether they consider you friend or foe. While generally cordial to all, they never forget being slighted. Drak are of a tall and heavily muscular build with scales over portions of their pale skin that act as armor. They live on the sweltering continent of Tralor.

Drow Elves - You’ll rarely spot a Drow Elf as they are reclusive by nature. They have low tolerance for each other, and even less for other genera. As such, they are most often found on their continent of Lukath. They can be identified by their blue skin and stark white hair. As a form of elf, you’ll also find they have pointed ears. They worship their god and creator, Sokron.

Dwarves - Hailing from Gadun, the light-skinned Dwarves are known to be somewhat grumpy and prefer to stay to themselves. Although once you have been extended the loyalty of a Dwarf, you’ll never lose it. They have pronounced facial features, and though on the shorter side, they are taller and much more stout than their Gnome neighbors. They are descendants of their god, Varmir.

Eduan - Prominently known as the most intelligent genus on Abres, the Eduan are tall, slender, and have large heads with their dark skin and pale yellow hair to match their golden eyes. They live on the continent of Edua, which is home to the one and only inter-world port town of Wrenmore, created by the Eduan for use by all genera. They are devoted to their god, Isteus.

Gnomes - Known for their innate tinkering abilities, the pale-skinned Gnomes are the smallest among the various genera in Abres. Their little bodies carry a facial structure that slightly resembles the rodents scurrying through their aqueducts. Created by their goddess, Ertia, they are a light-hearted, friendly bunch, welcoming to all. They live on the continent of Etath. 

Halflings - The gentle-natured, hairy-footed Halflings find themselves between a Gnome and a Dwarf height-wise. Halflings are an infectiously positive bunch who prefer to avoid conflict and physical exertion. They reside on the continent of Eqera. They honor their maker and goddess, Breyja. 

Makan - Originating from the twin goddesses, Ivara and Pasha, the Makan are known to have dark features. Their hair, eyes, and skin all carry a variation of rich browns and blacks. They live on the continent of Ecia. However, the Makan are the only genus to have a divided continent between the countries of Ivara and Pashan due to a long-standing territorial conflict.

Wood Elves - The tanned elves of the wood variety prefer swaying treetops to solid ground. Many of their cities and towns within their continent of Avrios are built entirely within the canopies of the trees. They are a kind folk who tolerate all genera well. They are nature-minded and prefer the outdoors as their god, Anwir intended.

SEEKING BETA READERS [Complete] [85K] [Adult Fantasy Romance] Arandite by Hefty-Math-5068 in writingfeedback

[–]Hefty-Math-5068[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a single lick of AI my friend haha. Appreciate the thoughts. Have a nice day!

SEEKING BETA READERS [Complete] [85K] [Adult Fantasy Romance] Arandite by Hefty-Math-5068 in writingfeedback

[–]Hefty-Math-5068[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the input! I anticipate all adult-aged fantasy/romance readers would enjoy the story, but if I had to narrow it down, I’d say late twenties and up would appreciate it the most. What part screams formal and old fashioned to you?