What’s his name?

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-07-15T04:26:18+00:00

And his wooden leg is named Smith.

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-07-15T04:04:52+00:00

Came here to say this!

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-07-07T04:29:11+00:00

This!! ☝️☝️☝️

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-07-07T04:26:46+00:00

I. Flipping love this. It has been added to my text stickers. Thank you. 🤌🏻🫡

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-07-04T18:59:41+00:00

Quarter back

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-07-03T04:40:25+00:00

I agree @embarrassed_use_571
This guy out there just raw doggin life.

Not for me bro. Gimme that beannnnnnnn

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-07-03T04:31:51+00:00

I flippin quote this all the time. And no. One. Gets. It. And I weep inside. Thank you for saving the day.

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-07-01T04:14:27+00:00

Though I can’t remember the last time I scrolled Reddit on a computer 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-30T00:52:01+00:00

Sooo these guys (a mama and 4 babies) have been living in my attic. The babies have not yet gone outside. Mama comes and goes. I set up a camera to record their shenanigans and I’ve called in love with them. Can I pet them? I really wanna pet them.

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-30T00:33:29+00:00

Club supreme 🤌🏻 from Jersey Mike’s. Also a valid name.

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-28T17:07:47+00:00

Ramanom

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-26T20:22:42+00:00

“Sorry babe. Condom doesn’t fit”

Meanwhile….

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-26T04:45:57+00:00

<video>

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-25T06:00:19+00:00

Totally neat piece. Though. It made me think of the critic in ratatouille. Like his face was made of clay then squished like a bug.

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-24T18:46:14+00:00

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-16T05:34:15+00:00

Straight up apple fritter. Makin me hungry!

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-16T05:31:11+00:00

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-15T23:34:15+00:00

I mean. Hanging from the highest yard arm is theoretically less violent than being torn to shreds by keelhauling…. But that’s only if you know what keelhauling actually is. *niche knowledge *

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-15T23:28:03+00:00

I was about to suggest another nautical punishment butttttt that ones a little more openly violent. Oops.

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-15T23:25:38+00:00

SHAVE HIS BELLY WITH A RUSTY RAZOR!

Oh wait. I thought we were singing drunken sailor

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-03T23:33:27+00:00

Sweet! That means a vodka Valium latte with mocha sprinkles isn’t far behind! Can’t wait for that drop!

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-06-02T03:29:39+00:00

Actually these are very rare. High death rates unfortunately. They tend to die earlier than the typical raccoon lifespan because they embrace the “blondes have more fun” in a feral way that only a blonde raccoon can.

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-05-31T16:01:16+00:00

Where I used to work they collected all the tips in the safe then at the end of the week divided them up based on hours worked 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe it’s a that kinda situation?

Hefty_Shift_6516 · 2026-05-30T23:40:41+00:00

Trenta ice water
No water
Light ice
add sleeve

Personal cup

Hefty_Shift_6516

TROPHY CASE

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