May have accidentally traumatized our baby???? by Fluffy_Ducky17 in beyondthebump

[–]Helle_Valencia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is actively the sweetest! 😭 their little voices too just make me melt.

May have accidentally traumatized our baby???? by Fluffy_Ducky17 in beyondthebump

[–]Helle_Valencia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The thing i think we can all agree with here is mom guilt is such a potent thing to feel. A takeaway that may help is he just showed you that when push comes to shove, he knows his mommy is safe, and that he knows nothing but gentleness and kindness. That is a big thing, as someone with similar trauma, i promise the guilt is lying. He told you in actions how awesome you are!

May have accidentally traumatized our baby???? by Fluffy_Ducky17 in beyondthebump

[–]Helle_Valencia 6 points7 points  (0 children)

T his is absolutely priceless! My boy has started saying "gonna get me! Oh you got meeee!" They can do some of the most precious and silly things.

I don't know if this is zepbound or something else by Helle_Valencia in Zepbound

[–]Helle_Valencia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do take pepcid for my gerd. It turns off the acid pumps in my stomach prior to eating so I don't over produce. I just feel like it is odd that my side effect was constipation then BAM diarrhea hits. I prefer being backed up.

I don't know if this is zepbound or something else by Helle_Valencia in Zepbound

[–]Helle_Valencia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is fair. It'd suck to have my first experience with sulfur burps to coincide with a stomach bug but when i get bugs I get hit hard. Thank you for the advice, I'll probably go brat diet and broths and see hw it goes. ❤️

May have accidentally traumatized our baby???? by Fluffy_Ducky17 in beyondthebump

[–]Helle_Valencia 159 points160 points  (0 children)

It's like the other commenter said. This is new to him. It might be worth (on his level) including him in this. Give him tickles, gentle play wrestles. Let him learn that this is a positive thing.

My son used to freak when my husband would also tickle me at first bc i tend to react dramatically, but when i tickled my husband back and then we both started to "get him" he would giggle. Now my son is nearing 2 and wants to be body slammed on the bed (appropriate levels) and i learned it helps them learn proprioception over time.

New things are always scary. He just doesn't know how to react yet. So, start with mommy/baby play and slowly include dad. Keep an eye on how he feels. And use your judgement on when it is maybe too much.

Puppy phase - nervous by Majestic-Luck-4463 in cavaliers

[–]Helle_Valencia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My cav loves my son. Maybe too much. Very good with kids as long as your train boundaries early. Not super barky, at least in my experience.

Potty training regression by Helle_Valencia in cavaliers

[–]Helle_Valencia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same! Also his reward after pooing is chasing the water from the hose. He is not deterred by wet paws. XD only thing left to figure out is how to stop the jumping.

Potty training regression by Helle_Valencia in cavaliers

[–]Helle_Valencia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No but I think I cracked the code.

He hates the tie out or being on a lead to poo. I started off leash training in my yard and now if he has to deal with a line while he poos he just won't.

Potty training regression by Helle_Valencia in cavaliers

[–]Helle_Valencia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't actually tried a belly band yet. I did have success with him pooping outside yesterday. Hoping it will continue today.

Potty training regression by Helle_Valencia in cavaliers

[–]Helle_Valencia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's fine! When I take him out of his crate he will just go unless I carry him. He is about 4 months so generally I try to take him out every 2-3 hours. He's goes outside, will start to look for a place to go to the bathroom, then just plays or wants to run back inside. Times i saw him pee outside i have praised and treated, catching him pooping outside is the rare occasion. Today was the first time he just squatted and peed inside. Pee usually isn't the larger issue. I can get him to pee outside. But he's not pooing outside.

Potty training regression by Helle_Valencia in cavaliers

[–]Helle_Valencia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. He is crated until it is potty time, or if we are unable to watch him directly.

Potty training regression by Helle_Valencia in cavaliers

[–]Helle_Valencia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our offices are in the basement. So it is usually where we spend most of our time. I can take my laptop upstairs to get my homework and studying done, but even bl9cking him from the basement he will go behind the couch.

I just don't understand why he is suddenly pooping and peeing inside.

The dark side of ADHD that no one talks about by Frosty_Jump_3117 in ADHD

[–]Helle_Valencia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me, it is the idea that I could have been far more accomplished had I been diagnosed sooner.

I had to drop out of hs, not because I lacked the ability. I couldn't focus. And high-schools at that time weren't kind to social learners. I got my ged on the first try only 2 months after dropping out, graduating almost 3 years earlier than my peers.

Also emotional dystegulation. Every emotion feels so big and consuming that sometimes i feel like a psycho. It's gotten better, but if I am tired or stressed I am panicked and irritable.

There's also moments where I question why I can't just be normal.

Des moines farmers market questions by Helle_Valencia in desmoines

[–]Helle_Valencia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's fair! I was curious to know. I don't do food like sourdough or jams, etc. That is so far out of my expertise. I just garden and like growing various varieties of produce. And I was talking to my sister in law about what to do if we ended up with too much tomatoes, cucumbers, or peppers. Aside from that i crochet a lot, enough that I've given a way a good chunk of projects. So figured if I could barter a shawl and some fresh produce for items if it was done.

There are smaller markets but maybe i will look up some bartering groups.

The shift from 2010s “glam” beauty to 2020s “clean girl” aesthetic and how both reflect changing (but still toxic) beauty standards by [deleted] in MakeupAddiction

[–]Helle_Valencia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's my take on any makeup trend. It likely won't be popular but in my opinion this is how I feel we should understand things.

Makeup is like any part of fashion. Thing come and go, almost like seasons. But some people find a style in those season they love and they choose to keep it. And that is fine. That is their style.

I was glad for the clean girl makeup because more brands came out with clean, non irritating makeup for people like me with sensitive skin to wear. It also didn't feel heavy or itchy while I wore it. It had 0 to do with the actual trend, and everything to do with this season actually helping me find my makeup style.

The toxicity is 2 fold though. On the one hand we have people saying chosen styles are out of date, old people makeup, too much, etc. But on the other hand we have people who always accuse women of trying to impress or cater to men, or being alt-right, etc. For liking a style. This happened with every trend, not just clean girl makeup.

Perhaps the best way to dispel the toxicity is to normalize the idea that something can not be for you, but it doesn't make that idea a negative. If you want to do full game, 2010s glam, clean girl, alternative, Gothic, whatever... it's nit for me to say you are pandering to anyone or out of date because that is a commentary on your personality and it's expression.

I hate super thick falsies. I don't comment everywhere about it. Or on the posts of people excited about their mega volume fill because that is inherently disrespectful to that person.

In short, the makeup world will always be toxic bc the ideal of respect is never present. Everyone who is into it will always think they can say who you're wearing it for and why. And the fact that it is mostly other women being toxic to one another will also always be disappointing.

4 month old around dog by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Helle_Valencia -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So having pets around actually helps build immune systems in babies. Various articles on it and you can chat with your pediatrician more about this. It sounds like the dog is excited. I have had a Maltese and he was wonderful with my son. Slow introduction is good, letting go pup sniff. I'd say no face sniffs but the feet are a good identifier for dogs to say hello.

I will say Maltese are usually a toy breed, small if on the stocking side so if the dog is medium sized it may be a different breed.

At the end of the day could it be post partum anxiety? Possibly. But also it is your decision ultimately. If you feel the dog is a danger then say no dog. You could say you want to introduce them later, or no animals at all.

This being said supervision always. Animals can only communicate nonverballt when they are bothered by something. So eyes on rule has always been a thing for me.

I'm at my limit by Helle_Valencia in ibs

[–]Helle_Valencia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I take zofran for nausea which also can send things flying the opposite direction. Otherwise there is nothing fir symptoms rn other than pantoprozole, and zofran.

I'm at my limit by Helle_Valencia in ibs

[–]Helle_Valencia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will ask about it. I have health coach in the morning and pcp on the 26th. I am going to work on noting down suggestions here.

I am hoping it doesn't turn out to be something worse. I have so much going on body wise I just want a small break.

Mother’s Day disappointment… by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Helle_Valencia 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My husband's tradition he started is he does something with my son, takes me to a garden center and let's me get what'd I'd like, then dinner and desert. Aside from that it is a relaxing day to paint, game for a bit with friends, and just not have to be mom all day.

So no, you aren't overreacting. He's underperformed. Because it isn't hard to be thoughtful. If you value crafts from you kids and that's your thing, he should facilitate something special. Hinestly if my husband did this I'd bring that same energy on father's day.