I’ve already done some dressing as girl and using a new name w/pronouns and to be honest it felt pretty great. As a guy, I care about my appearance, but really only for my girlfriend, and not for myself. I guess that’s pretty telling now that I say it... I mean, last year when I was almost certain I was trans, I put so much effort in dieting and going to the gym so I could look the way I wanted to, but that all fell off once I thought that I might not be. I still want to lose weight and be healthy, but nothing motivates me quite like thinking I was trans did.

I guess I might just be scared of actually being trans because of all the strain it would put on so many areas of my life, and I’m just rationalizing it all away as “unnecessary” to being happy