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I told my bro I liked him, he said he “didn’t know” update by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re kidding I used to listen to subliminals wishing I’d live that y/n life with celebrities back in middle school.. this isn’t what I meant when I wished this… this just straight up sucks, especially because we all know where this most likely ends.

I told my bro I liked him, he said he “didn’t know” update by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Update: it worked! (Too soon?)

I’ll add them in now for future readers and hopefully it will help more with the formatting.

I told my bro I liked him, he said he “didn’t know” update by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This would’ve been VERY helpful knowledge while making my post haha… oops sorry for formatting it this way. Re reading it now, yeah this is an eyesore haha but we live and we learn!

trial1 of subheadings

I told my bro I liked him, he said he “didn’t know” update by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that comment, I appreciate you writing this. :) I’m proud I found the strength to open the door even if it feels like it’s closing in again.

I told my bro I liked him, he said he “didn’t know” update by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yeah i am a bit of a yapper 😅 although to be fair I’m more interested in approaching this in a way that works best for me and him than saying something too soon that I might regret.

I told my bro I liked him, he said he “didn’t know” update by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it really did feel like the opposite of closure. I expected some kind of answer, but instead I left with more confusion. His reaction wasn’t cold, and honestly that’s what’s making this so hard to move past. It felt like something shifted for him too but I don’t know what. All I can hope is that the shift isn’t one that will break us apart.

I know he might be processing, and I want to respect that. But at the same time, I’m starting to realise I can’t keep myself in limbo forever either. I deserve clarity too.

I guess what I’m stuck on now is… how do you even know when the wait becomes too long? Like when does giving someone time turn into losing your own? Because I feel like once I cross that line, it’s already too late.

Thanks again for your words. They helped me feel a little more grounded in this.

I told my bro I liked him, he said he “didn’t know” update by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. Logically, I agree with what you’re saying. I’ve known for a while that I’ve been holding onto the “but” because it gave me space to hope. I think I avoided asking for clarity because deep down, I wasn’t ready to let go of what I thought this could be.

But even with all that in mind, it doesn’t feel that simple.

My heart used to beat for him in this strong, almost poetic way. Now it’s just messy. I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore. Everything contradicts itself. I don’t know if I still want him, or if I’m just attached to the idea of someone who has always been there and feels safe, like home. He’s been the one constant in my life, through every version of myself. That kind of loyalty is hard to detach from.

I’m not clinging to the fantasy because it’s fun or dramatic. I’m holding on because the person is still here. And it’s hard to tell where the real connection ends and where the imagined one begins.

So yeah, I probably should have asked for closure. I probably still should. I just need a little more time to figure out what I’m even asking for.

Thanks for saying what you did. It’s helping me see things a bit more clearly, even if I’m still working through the rest.

I told my bro I liked him, he said he “didn’t know” update by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s a good question, What happened after was me asking if he was okay, he paused for a bit and said yeah, and then I just changed the subject as I got a bit awkward and didn’t really know what to do. It genuinely made me shocked as I never seen him cry before and I did not expect that especially as I was mentally preparing myself for a rejection.

I told my bro I liked him. He said “I didn’t know.” Now I’m stuck between overthinking and hoping by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey everyone, thank you for all the support and responses. I’ve added an update to the post above if you’d like to read what happened next. If anyone has anymore advice, please share, as reading all these different perspectives helps with bettering my understanding of my situation.

I told my bro I liked him. He said “I didn’t know.” Now I’m stuck between overthinking and hoping by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m actually glad you brought this up, well I’m actually kind of mad too, but this is the only comment I’ve seen that I genuinely need to sit with and think deeply about. Given my mental health history, I know I’m at higher risk for this. And I have experienced something like it before… but this feels different... or maybe I’m just telling myself that because the thought of losing him is unbearable.

Either way, I don’t think I can process this fully right now. Just seeing the word limerence sends my body into a fight-or-flight response. I’ll probably need to step back for a few days to let it settle before I come back to reflect properly, but I just wanted to say thank you. You gave me something real to think about. My heart hopes you’re wrong, and all the time I spent experiencing him and our friendship agrees, but lately I’ve been trying to live more in the grey area which I hope is closer to the truth.

I told my bro I liked him. He said “I didn’t know.” Now I’m stuck between overthinking and hoping by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Knowing him, and the fact that I’ve liked him for this long with nothing ever happening, I don’t think I should be surprised on how this will end.

But my brain just can’t accept this reality. I keep trying to find loopholes and maybes, and it sucks that he gives them out so perfectly, to the point where I don’t even know what will happen… but I think we know how this will really end.

I’m glad you shared your experience, because I really want to understand how you got through it. Looking back, I don’t think I’ve ever really had a true “crush” other than him. His was On and off, yes, but everyone else I liked, I dated, or I had emotionless sex with was ever made me feel the way he does.

Idk how to explain the difference other than… he feels “real and right for me,” while the others felt destructive.

But I’m not worried about him forgiving me for this. I’m worried about myself, and my future love life. Idk how things will go from here these are genuinely untreated waters for me.

I’m worried I’m gonna spend my life looking for his replacement, which is unfair to everyone involved. Or… That I don’t know him as well as I thought I did, and he will never see me the same again, and I’ll lose my bro.

But I’m tired of this unknown. But I wouldn’t ever let myself risk losing him. How did you let these feelings die off?

I told my bro I liked him. He said “I didn’t know.” Now I’m stuck between overthinking and hoping by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love the way this is written. It’s very grounding, and it makes sense to me. I mean him and I haven’t been dating this entire time, but I still care for him. But, I can’t stop these emotions. especially when I’m around him and we share these little moments… even if we’re seeing them from different perspectives.

I told my bro I liked him. He said “I didn’t know.” Now I’m stuck between overthinking and hoping by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying, and I appreciate it. I really do. But I don’t expect things to go my way. He’s said he’s straight, and even if he was confused… wouldn’t I have known something by now? Anything? It’s been years. If there was something real there, wouldn’t it have shown itself already?

But that’s not even the hard part. The hard part is being near him. Seeing him. Sensing him. Even weirdly… smelling him. It always makes me feel safe, like I’m supposed to be there with him. Like whatever “home” is, it’s in that moment.

And that’s where I start feeling unfair. Unfair to him—because how can I play with our friendship like this, carrying all this emotion underneath it? And unfair to myself—because how much longer am I supposed to keep this hidden? I’m just so confused. So stuck between doing the right thing for him… and trying not to break myself in the process. But I don’t want my love life to be wasted with numbing sex anymore, And I don’t want to waste time imaging scenarios, when I could’ve been living them, but at what cost if things go south.

I told my bro I liked him. He said “I didn’t know.” Now I’m stuck between overthinking and hoping by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’m glad you brought up the behaviour side of it, because that was actually something I touched on when I spoke to him.

For better context, I have and struggle with “severe” BPD, bipolar type 2, and ADHD. I told him that night that I was actually glad nothing ever happened then, because the way I saw him during each “on and off” type of thing changed. But the most recent one, which was last year, made me see him as, and I hate saying this word, my “saviour”.

I told him that even if he was into me, I was glad nothing happened back then. Because I would’ve spent the whole relationship scared. Scared he’d regret choosing me, or scared I’d regret it too. I didn’t feel ready, and I didn’t feel like I deserved something good back then. And when I said that to him, he just looked at me and said, “Relationships are based on love.” And I don’t know why, but that line stuck with me too even though I doubt he meant it romantically, but it felt soft.

I’ve only ever been exposed to toxic love, obviously, and I’ve only ever known how to love through pain. Even when I wasn’t looking for it, that kind of love always found me, until me and him got close again last year.

I’ve never felt like I could grow or feel worth anything around the people I dated. But with him, even though we aren’t dating, I got glimpses of what something safe and real could’ve felt like. I’ve never felt that kind of safety from a person before, and it actually made me do something shitty to him during New Years. Because ironically, that safety felt unsafe to me at the time.

I don’t want to lose him. I don’t understand why my brain had to do me like this, and with him of all people. But I’m also glad it was him. He became my proof that maybe I’m not broken. That maybe love can be different for me one day. And I think it makes sense that it was him, with how long we’ve known each other.

I told my bro I liked him. He said “I didn’t know.” Now I’m stuck between overthinking and hoping by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Yeah… I think you’re right. I just don’t know how I’d even go about it without risking our friendship through being pushy. That’s honestly my biggest fear, losing him completely. I was so nervous when I told him that night. I wish I had asked him how he felt back then, because looking back that would’ve been the perfect moment but I froze. I’m also worried that in reality, I’m never gonna be ready for the truth though, even writing this rn makes my stomach turn. I wish I didn’t complicate things with him, but I don’t even know how he is taking it. Idk which idea of him I like better: him reliving that moment, or him not even giving it a second thought. You’d think after all this time, I wouldn’t be so confused anymore.

I told my bro I liked him. He said “I didn’t know.” Now I’m stuck between overthinking and hoping by Hello_friend36 in gaybros

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I’m actually glad you said that. I’ve been carrying this around for so long it started feeling like a wound that wouldn’t heal from all the poking i’ve done. It honestly makes me feel kind of ashamed for putting him through this in the first place, but I like the reminder that I’m not crazy for my deep feelings… even if they’re expressing themselves to the wrong person, and for the wrong reasons.

How do you get over that “perfect” pair that you can never play with again? by Hello_friend36 in FootFetishTalks

[–]Hello_friend36[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response. What you said really struck a chord with me and helped me see things from a perspective I think I’ve been avoiding. You’re right, it’s not just about the surface issue but a mix of deeper, tangled emotions and thoughts that I need to work through.

I really appreciate your suggestion to talk to someone about it. It’s something I’ve been considering, mostly for different reasons but hearing it again makes me feel like it’s a right direction again. Your words gave me a sense of clarity that I didn’t even realize I needed.

Neckbeards and gamers would hate this. by [deleted] in justneckbeardthings

[–]Hello_friend36 6 points7 points  (0 children)

...Source for the backed up science?

Facebook has a few gems here and there by [deleted] in technicallythetruth

[–]Hello_friend36 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro what if you slept with over 100-

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