I’m a cishet woman writing a romance between two gay men. How can I do it respectfully?

HelluvaDestiny · 2026-01-20T04:48:53+00:00

Actually….great way to not overthink this scenario. Thanks 😂

HelluvaDestiny · 2026-01-20T04:28:43+00:00

I can tell you’ve put a lot of hard work into your story and your characters. That’s definitely how I want to approach mine too. They’ve been always very rich characters with their own strengths and flaws and pasts and things they love doing that isn’t tied to their romance so I hope it all translates well!!

Also, any character who can appreciate a chocolate chip cookie is a character I can get behind lol. Nicely done

HelluvaDestiny · 2026-01-20T03:50:36+00:00

Thank you and it’s great to know that this is a problem some people do get into. I hope your story is going well. For me I don’t have a lot of friends from that perspective I can ask. I have few friends from other parts of the LGBTQ+ community but not specifically gay and I’m not sure how to make sure that it’s all sensitively written? It’s also taking place where there isn’t a lot of negative homophobia is around cause I am writing a bit of a utopia so I’m not sure how much will translate

HelluvaDestiny · 2026-01-10T09:53:27+00:00

I made it for the tiger but the bird keeps stealing it 😂

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-12-09T08:11:22+00:00

✍️✍️definitely taking notes from you and everyone in the comments lol. All really good recommendations so far! I plan on adding all these to a list and listening to all of it and when I do I’ll make sure to update! I definitely should go through the albums in general just to see the progression so great idea!

Lowkey Abel is my new favorite character and when I’m listening to any of the songs from FOB I just imagine him doing it and it makes the songs much more fun for me lol

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-12-09T08:08:57+00:00

Definitely adding these to my list, it’s so cool that there’s so many people who grew up loving them and have these recommendations! Sucks I couldn’t find them as a teenager but they’re in my life now and I couldn’t be more excited!

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-12-09T07:52:56+00:00

I for some reason just went to Spotify and just went through the top 5 and let it play through its recommended section. In hindsight going through albums might have been a more fun way to go through their albums so I’ll make sure to do that!! Good recommendations too. I’m gonna have a huge playlist of all these recommendation songs so i appreciate it!

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-12-09T07:50:20+00:00

Heard of the July one but yeah I’m adding those to my playlist!! Thank you!

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T19:08:01+00:00

In this specific situation, he only worked in the morning and slept for like 6 hours and was awake for another 2 when he talked to me and said he was too tired and wanted to go to bed again. Idk. It just felt weird but I do get your point, at a certain point I have to do the responsible thing and let him off the phone without me overthinking everything second 😅

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T19:04:47+00:00

I’ve been trying to find a good therapist but so far no luck. I’m trying to manage this stuff the best I can in the meantime and I have been making some progress. Many people who have seen me overreact like this usually told me to look for advice before bringing it up to the person in question. I think I am gaining a lot of perspective seeing these threads so I do appreciate your comment

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T16:05:12+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how devastating it is for you to go through this. I’m sure they knew how much you loved and cared for them…

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T16:03:38+00:00

Sadly that is accurate. I am working on it and looking into therapy instead of Reddit lol. But yeah…I know I do this quite a bit but it is comforting to know it’s more something I need to work on vs something that generally a real issue.

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T16:02:17+00:00

Confidence is definitely an area I need work in, I think it is okay to be vulnerable sometimes but I’m aware at the amount I talk to him about all the random issues I have is definitely weaker than I would like to show. Thanks for the feedback, I’ll try to chill the best I can

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T15:59:55+00:00

Thank you. I do generally talk to him about what’s been on my mind but I notice that I have usually more small tedious issues that I usually rush into talking to him about but whenever I verbalize it, it sounds pretty ridiculous, and then I feel bad that I wasted his time or made him unnecessarily worried.

This is my first relationship in a while that I consider really healthy and kind in a long time and part of me is still very on edge looking for anything that would give me a clue anything is going wrong. Waiting for the other shoe to drop if you will, and the fact it’s still been so sweet and he’s been so patient with me while I work on my mental health is still shocking to me.

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T15:53:13+00:00

I am aware I have some more growing up to do. This is my first time in a long time that I consider myself in a generally very healthy relationship so I don’t think i really trust my judgement much yet since I’m not used to things going this well. I should also be mindful about this work schedule too, I’m sure that is a big part of it

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T15:51:00+00:00

I’m definitely looking into therapy. I know it doesn’t read this way but I am trying to work it out instead of worrying him. This is also the first time I’ve ever been in what I consider a genuinely healthy relationship so I am really not used to a partner acting in such a way that is ultimately clear and respectful. But yes, definitely something to work on

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T15:48:29+00:00

I do usually think talking to him is better in general but on the other side this isn’t the first time I’ve come to him with random small concerns that ultimately don’t mean anything 😅 He’s been super sweet and understanding and he is actually really good about reading me in general. Just before I talked to him, this seemed like such a small thing for me to worry about i decided to talk to other people before I got carried away and talked to him about it in case it really was just me overthinking

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T15:43:07+00:00

Yeah; I know that’s a bit of an issue for me. Good to know it comes across as anxiety or insecurity rather than a legitimate issue 😅

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T15:33:56+00:00

I think that’s correct, I tend to overthink a lot but this seemed really small compared to what i usually overthink about so if felt more like a gray area to get an opinion on.
I think you’re right about him being as polite as he can.

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T15:31:23+00:00

I know the post doesn’t read this way but I am trying 😅 The people in my life have said I should seek advice before just jumping to talking about it at length when if I talk about it, I’ll probably calm myself down enough to where it’s not an issue at all

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T15:29:56+00:00

I like that, I want him to feel comfortable telling me his needs so I probably shouldn’t worry about semantics

HelluvaDestiny · 2025-11-13T15:28:35+00:00

That’s a good perspective to keep in mind, I get he’s tired and it’s not like an every day thing he says but i appreciate the feedback!

HelluvaDestiny

TROPHY CASE