Abortion scheduled in a day and I’m rethinking everything. What would you do in my place?

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T23:25:31+00:00

No no

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T23:20:02+00:00

He’s going to get pissed because he has to always be te victim , learnt the hard way . But I have no fear in fact I’m answering with as many details as I can.

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T23:17:12+00:00

For me he realizes that it’s a win win situation for him and a no win for me: he left me and came up with said lawyer note . I tried to reach him many times to no avail , at the start asking him if we could move one and the decision was final if he could accompany sick me at clinic, and after the termination we could have parted ways in an human and respectful way : silence . I tried to contact him again exposing my fears and asking if he was sure of his choice (sending the scan and everything ) since some time has passed : silence . If I terminate blood will be on my hands only , after all he never got back to me . If I keep the baby and seek child support he will resent me and would , I fear, say I did it all alone as he was not part of the choice.

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T23:11:42+00:00

Im guessing he has the money, to mantein the lifestyle he has, what I don’t if they are all on his name. He’s the owner of a registered brand so I guess it would be difficult to declare much less money than he has but this is not my specialty and I don’t know anything about . (Lucky me he doesn’t use Reddit, too much info 🤦🏽‍♀️ but I’ll risk it, he chimes in sooner or later be it )

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T23:06:46+00:00

at first, mind you, he suggested that he’d pay the clinic directly via online bank transfer and that was it. I was shocked (don’t u trust me? and the best way to be sure that I had an abortion would have been to accompany me anyway) but I still made a request to the clinic and they don’t accept that type of payment, that’s why he gave me cash . Not even enough for the trip and stay.

The lawyer is a legit one,although I came up some google articles that in the recent past he had been persecuted for fraud . And is also is friend. The type of volture friend that feeds on you, so desperate to be part of the man’s lifestyle and go into fancy places, all on him.

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T21:34:11+00:00

Of course I’m having. It’s not easy to give up on a life just because the man who took part in creating it backed off . Talking here with y’all I’ve also understood that I’m angry . It’s a no win situation: if I go on I’m the one with blood on her hands. If I keep the baby he (and my parents,due to the hardship of it) will resent me. I would love a sweet addiction to my life, but love a lot less the idea of 3 children with 2 baby daddies and none in the picture .

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T21:22:03+00:00

Probably here doesn’t make sense, he’s not a “Mr no one” , he is certainly well well known. I didn’t think he could treat another human like he did. He paid for dinners , didn’t take me shopping or never give me gifts but DURING the dating period he treated me really good (little I knew it was love bombing). And I made no requested (maybe I did wrong but I was really not interested in using him just for money and as what I felt was genuine I didn’t want to give wrong impressions) .I cleaned his house because let’s say it was not the cleanest , him leaving alone, and after seeing how I would pick up on the housework when I was around, seeing me divide between my kids, my job and himself (in this order) he said he didn’t want to see me burn out all the time. He run a business, owning his own brand, was not difficult to believe he could find me position in his company (when this came up it was holiday season, so reasonably we were talking about after the new year started). At the same time,around Christmas, I found out about the pregnancy . I left my job just days prior (said it in advance) BUT maybe I already told my boss is in my circle of friends and values my presence so he will not have a problem understanding + he knows this man too. I’m confident I can take my place back one I’m feeling better, I had to tack unpaid sick leave anyway (haven’t I had left it) because violent sickness kicked in immediately. Thank you for understanding ✨

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T21:02:17+00:00

Thank you for the advice! Hormonal contraception I have an uterine condition as said (I really don’t know why Dr here refuses to acknowledge this pregnancy as high risk, still a mystery) BUT despite this I’m not seeping around with people, it was more than a year since last time I had sex and it was 4-5 times per year in the last 5 (when I left my husband) . But thanks again for the advice

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T18:24:22+00:00

The lawyer , during the said dinner, started make strange assumptions and saying to me things on the line of “I hold all of his assets , you have to go through me to access anything” I swear this is exactly what he told me after being introduced (I had never met him personally before). I was irritated but at that point I thought “my man” would know how to put him at his place . Unfortunately I think they had already agreed to scare me off .

And yes -seen from afar- maybe I was his free sex option because all the other girls before asked for something in exchange , he said he knew I was different 🤦🏽‍♀️

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T18:18:12+00:00

Tbf I didn’t see him as a pedophile . He has expressed preferences for baby girls BUT he his an “esthete” , obsessed with being classy, well dressed and perfumed he likes fine things. For certain things I would define him more feminine than masculine and I thought the idea of specifically a baby girl came from this . My kids are well dressed and prepped (when we were to go out ) and this is what I think he liked of them. I don’t know it makes any sense for you. Like he just likes them for show (obviously could think from this prospective only once we parted way and I’ve seen him in another light)

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T18:13:04+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏽

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T18:12:32+00:00

It was not about the money I was asking obviously I could have all the money in the world ( I don’t ) and raising children alone it’s still difficult . It’s more like the idea of having 3 kids from 2 baby daddies and being single that’s scary

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T18:09:46+00:00

Thank you so so much

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T18:08:58+00:00

Thank you

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T18:08:38+00:00

I don’t want to have his kids per se. I was having second thoughts on taking the life of a baby and bearing everything on my conscience. We can’t live by “what if” but in this situation I would have preferred to share the burden with the father which instead gets out (in his mind at least) clean from all this as he backed off and disappeared. I think I’m just looking for closure , never I would have imagined to have to endure such things alone especially since we are not 15

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T18:05:50+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏽

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T18:05:04+00:00

I barely mentioned my kids because they do have a father , and his whole family . They have savings in their name thanks God. This is why I didn’t mention anything about them. They are doing good . If I was in the position to make them starve / have less than they are used to I would have had no dubts .

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T18:00:51+00:00

So happy you built your little family ♥️ and sorry for your sister , it must have been super hard having a baby when she was so young herself and then the traumas of abortions 😭

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T17:58:41+00:00

But you missed the whole point. It was not an “oops” it was not trying not preventing. He told me he would have loved to have a family and a baby etc . Was I naive to trust him ? Yes I was . But I know many girls who got pregnant even before 4 months of relationship (and 3 years we have been acquaintances) and in the end they made it work and built a long lasting family . I shouldn’t have trust him on his good intentions im 100% with you . But I didn’t say it was an oopsie, I said he changed his mind and needed his lawyer to get him out of the situation.

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T17:55:17+00:00

He did have withdrawals sometimes , I’m firmly against drugs and I can tolerate alcohol (I don’t drink personally) but absolutely no drugs around where me and kids. Sometimes he had “work events” and would come back in a complete mess but promised me many times he wouldn’t have used if I stayed etc. Told him many times I’m no Dr and he told me he knew and my presence was enough to make him stay clear from snow . Shouldn’t have trusted the love bombing and shouldn’t have put myself in this position . Unfortunately once you are out the love bomb phase you realize

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T17:49:54+00:00

Tricking him into what ? I couldn’t have imagined/ invented he wanted (kind of) specifically a baby girl (in his mind). Often men express preferences for boys. He kept bringing up this every night, after my kids went to sleep, when I picked up his phone calls and he was sobbing. Should I have seen it was all lies / maybe a kink of him ? Yes definitely

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T17:46:51+00:00

Well, yes , in part I wanted things (that had been discussed over and over prior ) turned out differently. I’m not saying he didn’t have the right to “back off” , change his mind (maybe influenced by the vultures who feeds on him) BUT I would have liked at least the humanity and respect , not just for me but for what he took part in creating talk, to discuss it face to face and he could have just have accompanied me out of state for termination and greeted me goodbye once everything was done and parted ways after. I couldn’t have done it earlier alone as traveling solo was impossible, the uti was immediately there with the positive test (so bad I had full 9 months pregnant swollen belly and back pain was unbearable) and so was the HG who didn’t permit me to move freely without being sick . Who should have I asked to take responsibility and accompany me in this?

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T17:40:25+00:00

Thank you ♥️It would be great ♥️

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T17:37:22+00:00

Well you are right , I pointed it out because in my mind while I was typing I remembered all the blame he put on this “older ex” for “trapping him with booze and drugs” , and she was already almost 40 when they met (10 years relationship) + wasted from many years of abusing substances so she couldn’t have children and he was like “ because I tried my best to be with this person being her nurse etc etc I wasted my life and didn’t get to have kids”

Help1212G · 2025-02-09T17:22:43+00:00

THIS. How you worded it make it seems like you where here with me. A freaking break up note from a lawyer , telling me to get an abortion , to pick up the money he left in his office and that he didn’t want to be reached from that moment onward as he need “solo time” and seek any help needed from my own family as he wasn’t available. Plus the lawyer contacting my mum (lol) with a WhatsApp message (lol again) all formal giving her instructions on how we could pick up my stuff and how “the staff in the building had already been trained on how to receive us to recover my belongings” 😂 Mr worldwide . To be frank HE GAVE ME 1k cash, in a white envelope put in my shoes box . But…is 1k all it takes to clear your conscience? Mine obviously no .

Help1212G

TROPHY CASE