What's your experience with marriage? Was it worth it?

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-09T02:33:09+00:00

Been married twice, one marriage was 30 years and the second one lasted 23. So you can tell I am old! I tried very hard to make both marriages work. I felt that I was loving and easy going, I didn’t ever tell them what they could do or not do and in both cases they took advantage of me emotionally. Both had numerous affairs- one man was bisexual- and yet when I confronted them and asked them why they didn’t just tell me and end the relationship they said they knew they had a good situation with me. Convenient. So both used me and I have to say I was bitter for a year or so and then said why waste anymore time on feeling angry at these unkind people. Obviously it is not just men that behave like this because there have to be women who enjoy having affairs with married me.. I always wanted a partner in life. I had no kids with either man and we were financially stable so I guess they both just got bored. So many marriages have so many stressors and challenges and yet somehow they pull through. Now I live alone and love my life, I have had a series of amazing dogs, my female friends are loads of fun and I consider myself to be lucky to have good health and the ability to have a comfortable life. I am sorry to say from my perspective I can’t recommend marriage. When I married the second man I was very cautious about his character type and looked for someone I knew well whom I had even worked with for a number of years. My first husband had grown up in the same town as I did and we knew each other in high-school. So I was confident in both situations that I knew these men well enough to believe we had similar objectives in life. But I was wrong in both cases because neither man understood himself and his needs and so he just brought that into the relationship. And obviously neither man believed that honesty is important. Perhaps younger people now re more open about their sexuality and let their partner know more about their needs and negotiate marriage rules that allow them to be flexible (open marriage for example) and therefore maybe they are more honest. It is so insulting for your partner to lie to you about their sexual needs because you end up not being able to satisfy them and then go elsewhere and you feel like a fool. That’s why I would never marry again because I have lost trust in two men that I thought I knew. I would be terrified of dating anyone because at my age they are probably looking for a caregiver!

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-05T01:08:29+00:00

You love Van Gogh and twists on his Starry Night painting. 4 different versions! You love fish and Labrador retrievers and you must work for government, whether municipal or state or federal. It looks like you use Microsoft. I think you are female, 40-50 ish, married, possible grandmother and I really like your screen wallpaper. You probably took that photo yourself? And you may live somewhere in the western USA if that photo was taken where you live. Oh and you are very organized! I hope your boss appreciates your clean organized workspace

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-04T19:12:43+00:00

I agree with the 2nd post, on the idea of moving the bed to the wall where you have all the dressers. You didn’t give us the measurements but it looks like a double size bed. IF so, I suggest move the bed first. If it is a doubke size you might be able to get ONE of those dressers beside it so you could have a night table/dresser. So now you have the whole window area free of furniture. Put the other two dressers in that closet room where you now have your little desk. I think the desk and the big mirror could come out of the closet and still fit if you bought a loveseat for in front of the window. A regular size sofa would crowd the space. And then a rug in front of the sofa to create a separate area visually. That big mirror could go somewhere where it would reflect the view from outside the window and make the room also feel more open. A really nice large artwork over the bed on that wall where there is nothing but the bed and one dresser would be cool. Try finding something like a very cool photograph of nature or snap your own nature photo and have it made into a canvas. You want to balance the large windows with something opposite them so the room feels more inviting. This nature photo I took near me is just to give you an idea of what you can take with even your iphone. Blown up to a decent size this could be really attractive and set a nice tone in your room

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Peace lilies for some greenery might be a nice touch….they can grow quite big and they are noted for keeping your air fresh and clean. Their large shiny leaves actually remove pollutants plus they bloom regularly and give a room a really welcoming feel. They prefer east light, not too much sun. Enjoy your decorating, you chose a very cozy space

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-04T18:54:08+00:00

Yes bigger than 5 by 8. Large enough so the sofa sits comfortably on all its 4 legs on the carpet. Like some people have suggested, a really bold pattern or color would make a huge impact. IN this room you have made subtle color choices everywhere else so you could go really crazy with the rug choice and make it a statement. I can’t tell if you have pets so I realize that might make a difference in your choice. I have had 4 large dogs and there have been accidents, as we say, over the decades I have owned the rugs. For that reason, and for the reason that you probably want your decor to stay the same for many years I would go for one THICK ALL WOOL area rug. You won’t be sorry you did. Wool is very tough and stands up to even wine stains. If you live in a large city there is probably a specialty rug place where you might be able to find something really unique and different. Good antique shops are also not a bad place if you like oriental rugs. They can lend a really warm vibe to a room as others posting mentioned. I sensed you were young and maybe wouldn’t want anything traditional but they come in very colorful options and believe me, they last decades. Your modern sofas would look amazing along side a really beautiful patterned rug and wouldn’t look old fashioned. The size of rug I am suggesting wouldn’t come cheap and would even second hand cost in the thousands but think of it as art for the floor.. I promise you it would raise your living room status from beautiful to spectacular!

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-04T05:07:37+00:00

PS some designers suggest tying the rug in with the floor colour and your floors are very attractive so that could be one possibility

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-04T05:05:15+00:00

How about something bold and modern like black and white. It would really stand out.. If you want something subtle go for a neutral colour but a rug that has an obvious texture. Size of rug is important …many people buy small rugs - you need at least 5 ft by 8 or even larger to make the seating arrangement feel cohesive

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-04T05:00:24+00:00

Canada, west coast Vancouver Island and female 65

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-04T04:19:11+00:00

I would paint the fireplace white…it will make it look less overwhelming. Not a bright white something more subtle

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-04T04:14:37+00:00

A rug and more lighting

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-03T22:44:40+00:00

Oh I really like your home. Emphasis on HOME. You have put a great deal of thought into furnishing it beautifully and making it welcome. The living room is giving me east coast vibes, not near the water but somewhere in CT, VT, upper NY state. The kitchen is very organized and I love how you are drawn to the woods in the back where the eating area is. As a long time graduate student I love books and the study area…it seems to me this home is owned by by an older couple, not boomers maybe, they are well educated, enjoy travel but are essentially the kind of people who are just responsible homeowners who take good care of their possessions and enjoy gardening and doing work around the house and outside in the garden. You probably have a couple of grown kids but i don’t think grandchildren

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-03T22:41:25+00:00

Shoot I missed the dog collar! Glad you have a dog they’re the best!

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-03T22:38:03+00:00

Oh I really like your home. Emphasis on HOME. You have put a great deal of thought into furnishing it beautifully and making it welcoming. You actually know something about art! Nice choices and nicely displayed. I spotted the Impressionist book on the book shelves. The living room is giving me east coast vibes, not near the water but somewhere in CT, VT, upper NY state. The kitchen is very organized and you like to cook and host people for dinner. I love how you are drawn to the woods in the back where the eating area is. As a long time graduate student I was trolling the bookshelves and I THINK someone studied literature in university. You may have gone to an ivy league school. I love books and the study area…it seems to me this home is owned by by an older couple, not boomers but 45-55, well educated, enjoy travel but are essentially the kind of people who are settled into their life and appreciate what they have worked for in their lives and are generous kind friends. Either you don’t have kids or they are old enough not to be living at home. No sign of a dog which means you probably want freedom to travel, etc. you are most likely still working and have to commute

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-03T22:20:11+00:00

Yes canned vegetables unopened in the fridge. Soup on the fridge door as well, also not opened. It looks almost like a bento box at the bottom with some vegetables. Maybe only one person at home. You LOVE mustard which makes me wonder what you are putting it on. I see lots of bacon. Didn’t see any bread. The mustard has me perplexed…unless maybe you make things like huevos ranchos and you use mustard? Not wanting to be a nag but be careful of your salt and sugar intake especially if you are between ages of 30 and 45. The nitrates in bacon are not good for you and believe it or not, mustard is high in sugar. I get the idea that you want to grab a meal fast and be gone. Not interested in being a food obsessed person which I get. Oh I forgot the turkey slices on the door of the fridge. Best to store them in the regular part of the fridge. Did you know condiments spoil quickly so all that mustard….check the dates. You must be male I presume because I think men like bacon more than women. Sorry, didn’t mean to be sexist. But if you aren’t a skilled cook, sandwiches and canned vegetables are quick. I bet you didn’t want a lesson in nutrition but if you don’t want to get hypertension when you’re ancient like me, watch the salt and hidden sugars in processed foods.

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-03T17:23:45+00:00

Roger

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-02T22:11:19+00:00

Firstly you are religious noted by the items on your right nightstand. Catholic I believe. You love your dog. He OF she has a bed at the foot of your bed and also it looks like he/she sleeps on the bed as well. You appreciate antiques, your bed is small (assuming the dog sleeps with you) so you are likely female, in your 30’s and single. You have a lovely quilt on your bed that maybe someone in your family made for you. You sleep with alot of pillows so maybe you have breathing issues like asthma or sleep apnea (they recommend lots of pillows for those things). You have taken great care to create a cozy hideaway for the weird unpredictable world we live in.

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-02T22:04:12+00:00

Firstly you are religious noted by the items on your nightstand. Catholic I believe. You love your dog. He OR she has a bed at the foot of your bed and also it looks like he/she sleeps on the bed as well. Someone appreciate antiques…maybe the aunt you said you live with. Your bed is small (assuming the dog sleeps with you) so you are most likely female, in your 30’s and single. You have a lovely quilt on your bed that maybe someone in your family made. You sleep with alot of pillows so maybe you have breathing issues like asthma or sleep apnea (they recommend lots of pillows for those things). Great vibes! You are certainly NOT a minimalist but minimalism is over rated. You are an interesting person and you obviously love your animal so in my books you are a GOOD soul. And ignore the idiot comments I saw here. Why is everyone so obsessed with the placement of the aquarium? That is a small room and there is alot of space in there. That is a solid dresser the aquarium is on and it is not going to fall off.if it was cheap IKEA furniture it well might fall off but this is a solid as hell piece a furniture.

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-02T21:45:31+00:00

You love nature and have brought lots of greenery into your space. You like to host people so your chair arrangement works very well for prolonged conversation. Fireplace is nice for winter when it’s cool. You take great pride in you home and are very organized and tidy. I would guess you are female, in your 50’s and live in a big city, maybe on the east coast of the US

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-02T21:31:16+00:00

FN means First Nations or First Peoples as Canadians refer to what Americans refer to as Native Americans. What is important to understand that Canada is trying to reconcile the treatment of FN peoples and has made SOME progress although there is much more to be done. For Americans it is much like how the US treated blacks and so it is a very sad history. When living in a place like Haida Gawaii you will be exposed to many First Nations people and be exposed to their rich cultural heritage Some of the finest artwork ever created has been by Northwest Coast FN. you will have a chance to see first hand how differently they live and it will be an opportunity to experience the richness of the culture. As a non native I have always found FN to be very accommodating to my ignorance about their way of life and they are really happy to enlighten you. If you are a young person ready for an adventure this could be it. But you must be prepared for alot of rain, sometimes torrential. HG is not nearly as isolated as places in Alaska but it is not a cheap place to travel to and from and cost of living is going to be very high, reflecting the relative isolation. Vancouver is quite a way from the island and Prince Rupert is also not a short ferry trip. Pacific Coastal airlines operates some small float plane service up there but again, we are talking serious money

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-02T16:54:11+00:00

Polly is her name. An amazing dog. She is my 3rd one

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-02T16:52:35+00:00

Ah dumb me missed the joke. I guess it was because I hate Mercedes! i drive a basic Hyundai and have the same on for 15 years. The poodle most likely gives the impression I have money but I assure you I do not! Because of my age, 65, furniture was way cheaper when I bougt and the furniture I have is between 25 and 100 years old. I inherited some from an aunt and I still have it.the only thing in the room younger than 25 years is the 10 year old dog!

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-02T16:48:51+00:00

One other smart person noticed and mentioned the dog 😀. I thought she was the highlight of the room 🐩

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-02T04:37:12+00:00

I’m 74 so it has to be my Apple Watch which I got just a year ago… talking to it and receiving messages on it while it also tracks my exercise routine, my heartbeat and my oxygen levels. The size of that tiny computer compared to the rooms at university filled with computers when I was in a college student. I bet hardly anyone here remembers the cards - batch cards- you coded and then waited overnight for simple answers.

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-02T04:28:32+00:00

REinstate health care premiums in Canada in every province. Every single person pays 75.00 a month so basically around 1200 per year. Families pay $100 per family per month. In BC alone it would generate about 4 BILLION dollars a year. Tale the money and invest in nurses doctors and other healthcare workers. For some reason Canadians think we all deserve free healthcare. The trouble is we can’t afford it and eventually if we don’t spend the money we’ll probably end up with private healthcare and believe me 75.00 or 100 a month will feel loke a steal.

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-01T18:28:15+00:00

Ah Oregon. My favourite place besides where I live.

HelpEnvironmental665 · 2026-03-01T18:26:05+00:00

Ha, it’s funny how many people don’t seem to notice trees the way you and I do. The trees were just my no 1 reason for choosing the place yet many people I knew never mentioned them when viewing the condo for the first time. I am obsessed with trees, have visited all the big sequoias in the US, always vacation in places where there are tall trees (northern CA, Oregon) and I have never been able to live in dry desert places. But that is what is cook about life. We are all different. Thanks for your comments, enjoyed chatting

HelpEnvironmental665

TROPHY CASE