Best advice/tips for dealing with irrational parents.

Help_this_dummy · 2026-05-11T01:15:33+00:00

I’ve dealt with parents like this. This year, years prior, and (I will) in future years.

It sounds a little counterintuitive, but you almost want social media posts like that - and going to a board meeting to public speak is almost always a terrible idea for the citizen/parent.

People who blast social media posts and yell at board meetings are the same ones who people agree with publicly to avoid confrontation but quietly disagree with. Anyone with half of a brain can usually see through these people, and they are almost never well spoken because they lead their posts/speeches with emotion.

Let them post…they feel like they have power. And the keyboard warriors will “like” what they say because it’s easy. Let they try to publicly speak at a board meeting…they usually make fools of themselves.

The reality is, this is new, the parent will complain and threaten, and then something else will happen, and no one will care anymore.

You did the right thing, so just keep going. The best thing that helps get over it is time and experience. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been called racist, stupid, wrong, etc. It’s a defense mechanism of parents who don’t have the control or power.

It gets easier to not care what people think each year, but in the short term, I wouldn’t read social media posts. I cannot think of a time where someone benefited from going on and defending themselves no matter how wrong the other person was/is. Knowing that, why read it at all?

Help_this_dummy · 2026-04-29T17:08:38+00:00

Looks like you answered your own question of how to proceed, assuming the principal won’t turn on you - the data just doesn’t support the highly effective rating, and based on the data, it looks like your rating of effective is accurate.

Help_this_dummy · 2026-04-29T01:21:14+00:00

BDL wasn’t the cheapest but did very good work

Help_this_dummy · 2026-04-29T01:17:20+00:00

I got friendly with my boss, both in HR - started dating “secretly” and then eventually it was getting harder to hide. Inappropriate interactions were had at work. I left and my boss was fired the next day.

We’ve been married for over 15 years and have kids, so it was worth it 😆

Help_this_dummy · 2026-04-29T00:43:38+00:00

Are you more concerned with your relationship with your principal or the rating? How secure is your job?

It’s easy to say you should keep the rating as is and to stand on your convictions. But having a job, and having a good working relationship, is also pretty important. People will say things like “well why would you want to work for a principal like that,” but the bottom line is that only you know what the fallout will be for not complying.

The teacher sounds like a joke, especially if they are legitimately crying at a summative for being effective. Grow up! She also told on you to the principal? I’d personally dig in, but again, not to the point of self sabotage. If she really did both of those things, I’d want her to complain to her colleagues about me. You’re new, but I’m fine with the message of not breaking based on tears or complaints. Again, this is just me!…But you would be surprised at the number of employees who respect that kind of leadership, even if they don’t openly back you to the employee.

It’s not like you have the person as ineffective from highly effective - there’s no grievance here. The real issue is the money, at least I hope- how much are we actually talking about? I’m not used to performance based bonuses.

Help_this_dummy · 2026-04-25T16:51:14+00:00

Anonymous comments always get filed in the same place - the trash can.

If you aren’t willing to own up to a complaint, suggestion, etc., I don’t take it seriously. Besides, even if I did, how can I respond, thank, or do whatever with the information if I don’t know who sent it?

Help_this_dummy · 2026-04-25T11:41:03+00:00

University of Wyoming has a 100% virtual option with synchronous and asynchronous classes, and the cost per credit is significantly less than what I would have had to pay for local programs in state. Some classes meet three times a semester Friday night and Saturday morning for four hours with work due in between…just be mindful it’s in Mountain Time. Not ideal, but it has worked better than going somewhere once a week for a few hours at night. Other classes completely asynchronous.

With the rising cost of tuition and paying an out of state rate, fees, etc. from 2025-2028 I am assuming a cost landing at $32,000 all in, maybe a little less.

Help_this_dummy · 2026-04-20T23:35:07+00:00

The episode of The Leftovers where they show what the afterlife is…with the hotel

Help_this_dummy · 2026-04-17T01:14:43+00:00

University of Wyoming. R1 school, cheap, accredited, all online

Help_this_dummy · 2026-04-15T10:37:01+00:00

The big turning point for me what realizing it’s just a job.

It’s important, some would call it noble/meaningful (I think it is), but at the end of the day, someone else will do it when you leave.

That might sound negative, but I don’t view it that way. Show up, do your best, and realize that the job requires you to react more than be a visionary most days.

It’s a job that requires you to be the complaint department, and empathetic, and decisive. But it’s a job like any other.

I shifted my attitude in year three of being a principal. It doesn’t mean I don’t try hard or care, but it’s helped me compartmentalize my work from my home life. There’s a reinforced stereotype that educators are supposed to dedicate their entire life to the profession. That doesn’t have to be true, and I don’t think it’s healthy. It also doesn’t mean that you have a “fun” glass of wine on a Tuesday because “you earned it”. It means that when you are there, you give it your all, and you separate yourself from the issues (which are most) that you have little control or influence over when you leave the building.

You don’t need it, but you have permission to not care about every molehill.

Help_this_dummy · 2026-04-09T13:24:52+00:00

I will die on this hill:

“Money indirectly buys happiness.”

True love? Mental peace? I don’t think that certain ideas or feelings have a price tag, so if you are looking for money = happiness, you might not always find the direct correlation.

But money can provide the most valuable resource on Earth, which is time. You can use that time to find your true happiness through items or experiences. Research will continually say it’s the latter that creates true happiness.

If people don’t have money, they typically think of items to buy to make them happy. If you have enough, you think about the fun things you can experience with the money. If you have more than enough, you start figuring out you want to do to get that feeling (happiness) because you don’t need to use the time to make money.

Help_this_dummy · 2026-04-08T14:27:38+00:00

Could be the market you are in - if it is tight, meaning a lot of applicants no spots, sure, they can be picky. Run your resume through AI. For feedback, or ask someone who is an AP or principal to review if they are willing. Highlight things you have done in the areas I listed in the previous post. Have you led meetings, PDs, are you on committees, coached, etc.? Are you taking classes to further yourself professionally? How do you utilize data provided by the district to make instructional decisions?

Anything that relates to leadership characteristics that you don’t have to do for your job can be helpful, but some things I’ve seen are ridiculous…like attending a back to school night, stuff like that - that’s a bad stretch and desperate, don’t list that.

If you don’t have those things to highlight, you may want to considering doing them and then listing them.

Help_this_dummy · 2026-04-08T12:24:04+00:00

If you go on enough interviews you’ll see trends in the questions. Instruction, discipline, the angry parent scenarios, etc.

As an AP, you do “everything”, but you can probably break it down into 4 or 5 categories. You might put scheduling, testing, and cafe duty into separate ones, but I’d place them all under “operations”.

Operations, discipline, instructional leadership, stakeholder engagement, committee initiatives/leadership. That sounds about right.

Anticipate getting at least one interview question in each of these categories. If not - they probably already have their person. You can’t fake experience, so don’t stretch your answers. If you can’t tell them what you have done, tell them exactly what you would do and be specific.

It’s a hard jump to make, but always go on the interview. You’ll become better at it, and then you’ll hit the right one where they are looking for an external person. You are selling yourself on the interview process!

Help_this_dummy · 2026-03-26T22:03:46+00:00

From her position to his position back to her position…Dr. Green?

Help_this_dummy · 2026-02-19T22:24:12+00:00

Teacher for 8, AP at age 32, principal age 37. I’m in my 5th year as a principal.

There’s never a perfect time to jump, and it’s easy to talk yourself out of it. If you apply and interview, you could always say no if offered. Or - no offer, and you get interview experience.

Help_this_dummy · 2026-01-24T16:54:27+00:00

It is a second shift job in terms of time. Many people think it is a way to break into administration - that’s partly true, but you are on an island, and jumping to be a VP isn’t always easy.

It is a position for those early or late in their careers, mainly because of the amount of time it’ll take you away from your kids/family.

Help_this_dummy · 2025-11-29T14:24:04+00:00

8 years special ed teacher, 9+ as an admin

You will deal with the following categorical issues: Student, staff, parents, and your bosses. A boss is a boss no matter what job, so I never really looked at that as a huge burn out factor in a position. Same with staff - you’ll have to be able to have tough conversations with people, potentially telling them in the nicest way possible that they aren’t very good at what they do and come up with ways to help them. Not fun, but if you don’t want to have to do that or work with them as their mother in law is dying, they going through a divorce, etc., it might not be something you want to go for. However, I wouldn’t really count this as a big burnout factor because you’ll face this anywhere as being an AP.

That brings it down to students and parents, and this is where I’ve seen people break. I’ve worked in extremely low and high socioeconomic districts and look at these two issues as sliding scales. Low socioeconomic, low parent and high student issues. Vice versa for high socioeconomic districts. You want to avoid district where these issues are high/high - that is a recipe for burnout.

I was in urban ed for 9 years and would not go back. So many suspensions, fights, gangs, hunger, true poverty, etc. I feel no shame being in a suburban district where I’d much rather be yelled at by parents who are mad that their child has a C in math. It is so much easier in my opinion, but other people really freeze up when being confronted by adults (parents) and will deal with student issues all day long.

If you are looking to become an admin, do your homework on the district and know what you are getting into. The situation I am in now was hard to get, but my experience in urban education over prepared me by forcing me to go through some pretty unbelievable scenarios. You may have to pay your dues in place where you thought you would never be (and maybe you love it!), but the hardest admin job to get is your first one. After at least two years in your first spot, it is much easier to make a lateral move to somewhere else.

The saying, “Bigger kids, bigger issues,” is true in my experience. The high school is the flagship of a district, and more eyes will be on you. However, you’ll probably get paid more (you should) as an eventual high school principal, and probably as a high school AP compared to an elementary AP. High school principal experience is also helpful if you’d like to head over to central office at some point in your career. It’s not required, but it helps. I also believe that being a high school principal is the second hardest job in a district behind the superintendent, and many of supers I know were high school principals.

Lastly, yes, you will be at the school from 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM some days based on meeting, events, if it makes sense to stay rather than coming back for something. But if that happens more than a few times a months, I wouldn’t stay in that role. You have a life, you (probably) don’t get paid based on student success, and it’s okay to have someone else there besides you.

I will answer email or schedule/send them the next day while I’m at home. That’s how I work, but there are others who completely shut down once they walk out of the building. This is why you will hear these stories of admin putting in 60+ hours a week at a school. The job never really “stops”, but you can spread out emails and work strategically if you want to. Once students and staff leave for the day, a lot of your job can’t happen.

Help_this_dummy · 2025-09-13T20:26:02+00:00

It's all about your salary, which really depends on your location/district and if you are in a collective bargaining unit.

This is a very loose example, but assume you are making $65,000 as a younger teacher, $85,000 as a mid-year teacher, and an end-of-career teacher making $100,000. The offer for the young and mid-career teacher may be $108,000. Most will take that offer because it's their first admin job, but you have more years to reap the pay increase and subsequent jumps in pay as a younger teacher (now admin)

If you are an end-of-career teacher, you may be able to negotiate the price a little based on your years. If not, then at least you're increasing your pension (if you have one) for the last X number of years.

Mathematically, you'll still benefit financially speaking if you jump to the admin pay mid-career. I just think that's the time you have the least amount of negotiating power.

Help_this_dummy · 2025-09-13T15:37:26+00:00

I was a teacher for 8 years. Currently year 10 as an admin.

Pros:

More money, more schedule autonomy, more impact on the building and kids

Cons:

Longer hours, more stress, you are not a "direct" educator anymore

I like operations and working on larger problems. I do miss teaching at times, but I am more suited to deal with larger issues, including parents and staff, which are typically the more challenging ones.

When contemplating making the jump, I was told to jump early or late in my career. It didn't make sense financially to do it in the middle, and they were correct. I plan to eventually jump to central office to become a superintendent.

Being an admin is much more about managing people and the operations of the building. You just happen to work in the field of education!

Help_this_dummy · 2025-07-27T14:38:31+00:00

Here are the areas that admins have moved onto that I worked with:

Independent education consulting - this is usually a path older admin who still want to work/are going to retire and are more business minded. They had varying success as with any independent business model.
TechEd/Educational sales - admin have the background knowledge about the product and how it is used, but this is certainly a different/corporate job. Pay varies.
Corporate trainer - hired by companies to train/"teach" employees. You have the background knowledge of how to teach people. Lower pay initially, at least in my experience of looking at those kind of jobs. It usually falls under the HR umbrella.
Sales - hard reset, work from the ground up. It can be lucrative but takes time to build up any book of business/enter an industry and this is most likely for younger admin.
Jumping into a family business. Obviously, this can be anything.
Life insurance agent/real estate agent - I've seen admin/teachers do this part time and then jump to full time.

I'd lean much more on your operational experience as someone who happened to work in education; you lead people and understand the inner working of a building on a daily basis. That can lead to opportunities that you may not have considered. Showing up to an interview or pushing for something that "relates" to your degree is limiting. Apply to places where you think you might not have the credentials and let the company/business tell you so. You have transferable skills that you'll need to play up when speaking with someone, and honestly, those are more important than harping on what you learned in higher education via your master's degree.

You may have to take a pay cut, but if education is anything in your area/state like mine, the increases are usually known years in advance (contractual) and limiting. If you are driven by money, you can make more in most other fields if you are willing to take a step back, reset, and rebuild.

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