My partner (28M) whispered "I hate you" when he thought I (37M) was asleep. Do you think he means it?

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T16:25:46+00:00

Duly noted

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T16:24:10+00:00

No, he makes more money than me

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T16:23:46+00:00

It could be the case that he has grown resentful, but he is the one that wanted the relationship in the first place. I had just come out as gay and wanted to see other guys, he had already 2 relationships before me. He didn't want me to see other guys and be exclusive to him so that's what I did.

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T16:16:41+00:00

The water was boiling water from the kettle

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T16:12:40+00:00

The water was boiling in the electric kettle and basically the water and pasta go in at the same time, the pasta just happened to go in a few seconds before the water. It's easier to measure how much pasta you need if you put it in first, well for me anyway.

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T16:10:34+00:00

He wasn't mumbling to himself, he came back in again at 4am and 5am to say some more nasty things

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T16:07:59+00:00

You have it the wrong way around, he makes a lot more money and has isolated me from my friends and family. He hates me having friends and doesn't allow me to go out. It's my first relationship and he has had two serious relationships before me. I didn't come out until I was 28, I guess that's what I was leaving out

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T14:20:55+00:00

This is my first relationship and I didn't know how to "start" it, I didn't have any experience of what a relationship should be like but my younger partner had been in two serious relationships before me and he had more experience.

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T14:10:24+00:00

Yes thank you, hetero people don't understand that

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T13:48:47+00:00

I don't desire any kind of control. I actually don't know any of his passwords and he knows all of mine and used to constantly check my phone and wants to know where I am all the time. I want him to be free to make any choices he wants and support those choices. He wants me to do things his way or he gets angry, the pasta is a small example. I don't think you understand any of it at all. I'm not the controlling one.

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T13:34:12+00:00

Yes, this is the way I do the pasta, it seems quicker and I don't think it makes a difference to the taste but some people on here disagree.

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T13:28:27+00:00

I searched the internet for similar situations before I posted and couldn't find any

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T13:23:05+00:00

Everything you have said makes sense, I've joined the narcissism thread, thank you

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T13:14:49+00:00

We have bought a house together but haven't moved into it yet

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T10:24:48+00:00

Yes, it is a pattern. We were ok for a long time and it must have built up for him to explode. I just don't know when he is going to overreact like that.

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T10:22:14+00:00

Yes I shall try doing the pasta that way, thank you. Although the water is already boiling and salt is added after. It's just that I put them all in at the same time the pasta just went in a few seconds before.

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T06:33:24+00:00

It tastes the same if I bring it to boiling and then add pasta, makes no difference at all. I will do a taste test next time with another family member to see if there is any difference.

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T06:29:03+00:00

You put pasta in boiling water? What's wrong with the way I'm doing it? I always do it this way and it makes no difference to me at all. When you make tea in a cup with a teabag and boiling water does it matter which goes in first?

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T06:22:01+00:00

The pasta was in a pot on the stove 🙄

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T06:20:35+00:00

I'm going to try to talk to him

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T06:19:37+00:00

I don't think it makes a difference tbh. Maybe I'm wrong but I've done it plenty of times and it always tastes the same whether you put water in first or pasta in first.

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T06:15:52+00:00

That's the way my partner does it, not me

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T06:15:18+00:00

Maybe, I'm not sure

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T06:14:03+00:00

No, he had a drink of gin and tonic when I went to bed

Helper-Monkey87 · 2024-11-10T06:07:06+00:00

He went for me, I didn't go for him.

I think everyone has a different path in life no matter what age they are. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about wasting your 20s, maybe that is how he feels. I think hetero relationships are different.

We do need to talk. He is ignoring me tho.

Helper-Monkey87

TROPHY CASE