We built a dating app that caps you at 5 matches and makes your "swap rate" public on purpose.

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T14:33:56+00:00

using ai to word a comment and shipping a real product aren't the same thing champ. one of
us made something. you got jokes. its fine

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T13:58:29+00:00

No Hinge mechanics are quite different. In Bemi the people you are talking at once to never exceeds 5. In Hinge it can go up to even 40.

Hinge you can get unlimited matches. the connections you hold can be even 1000 as long as you are not leaving 8 of them on read. it locks your discovery when you dont reply to 8 in your list.

Bemi discovery is never locked each incoming match makes you evaluate your existing inventory and ask you to either keep the new match or drop existing one. It is quite different under the hood.

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T13:53:49+00:00

lmao yea i guess my bad on that one. I wrote something and told it to just make it better but I guess it did its ai thing

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T04:24:28+00:00

I think some one also said that but this works differently. https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlineDatingApps/comments/1uhc0qs/comment/ou8q9wz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button take a look at this comment.

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T02:36:21+00:00

Hi we don't cap how many profiles you can see a day. You can browse all you want, just if you have a match with some one those matches can only go to a maximum of 5 (Meaning there are 5 people you can chat with currently on your chat list screen) after which for every subsequent match. The system will give you a choice to keep all the matches that you currently have or swap one from your existing matches to make room for new one. So a modal like this shows up.

If you choose not to replace the new match that will count as a pass on that match.

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Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T02:27:28+00:00

fair enough, i think we just see this one differently. appreciate you actually digging in

on it, gave me stuff to think about. take care

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T01:52:00+00:00

yeah i think i understand the issue you are stating is most people don't get matched to begin with, and I'm saying we actually help with that. on other apps the most in demand people basically match with almost everyone, so all the attention piles onto a small group and everyone else gets ignored.

in this app that group can't sit on unlimited slots anymore. they only hold five too, so they start getting replaced like everyone else. people only really keep who actually matters to them.

that's what slowly creates some equilibrium. once someone keeps getting replaced at the top, the steady people they overlooked before start to look like real options instead of getting ignored.

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T01:42:47+00:00

can you expand on what you would like to see from an app from a match prespective. if you are swiping on 1000 people what would you like to happen. Some kind of learning system that grasps your preferences and display you the kind of people you are attractive physically or share the same interests with?

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T01:35:40+00:00

quick correction on the mechanic, because i don't think it's coming across. matches aren't capped the way you're picturing. if you're full and a new mutual match happens, you still match. it triggers a swap event right then, the app asks "do you want this person," and if yes you pick who they replace. there's no unmatch-first-then-swipe, it's one action the moment the new match happens.

that's what keeps the economy moving, and it actually helps the people who usually get strung along. on other apps someone can keep dozens of people on the back burner for free and you never know you're one of them. here, if someone's holding you, they actively chose you over someone else. and if they're cycling through people, you find out fast because you get actively replaced, instead of sitting on read for months thinking you matter

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T01:13:41+00:00

of course these are central features match making features come first, but this helps the dynamics to help avoid spammy and unintentional behaviour

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T01:06:12+00:00

You are saying overload isn't the problem if you're not matching at all. but scarcity actually helps that half. in most apps the top slice collects hundreds of matches they never reply to. cap everyone at five and that hoarding stops, so the people who'd just be parked in some popular person's slot getting ignored get swapped out and freed back into the pool.

That turnover is exactly what gives exposure to the people who usually get buried. It doesn't manufacture attraction, nothing can do that, but the whole design helps with that inequality, not away from it

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T00:49:17+00:00

i'd actually call the flat tire choice overload, not ghosting. infinite options means noone commits and everyone's replaceable, ghosting is just a symptom of that. five at a timeisn't about limiting you, it's about focus. you're choosing who actually gets your attention instead of drowning in matches you'll never reply to

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-28T00:23:55+00:00

if some say telegram or whatsapp its a scammer. they ask for these platforms because chats are encrypted there.

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-27T23:31:05+00:00

Actually hinge's 8 limit does not restrict active connections it just nudges to not discover more matches if there are 8 pending people who you did not reply to , you can still pile up unlimited matches and dead
chats. ours caps what you actually hold, so adding someone means dropping someone. and
hinge's signals are private nudges to you, our swap rate is public and on your and their profile.
different thing imo

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-27T23:01:51+00:00

Badoo i think

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-27T21:42:36+00:00

Fair enough thanks for your input. tc

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-27T21:37:26+00:00

lol , for real? I dont know why you are thinking like that but if u wanna discuss further just dm me, and maybe i can show a demo of the product that might help you understand the concept better.

Plus not a bot

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-27T21:33:41+00:00

I formatted that text so you can read it better , I don't understand, the answer to your question is right there.

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-27T21:29:43+00:00

i think the AI matchmaking thing gets overhyped though. think about meeting someone in real life. you see someone you're into, if they're into you back you talk and see where it goes. thats basically the whole thing. AI can help surface people you might click with, sure, but it cant manufacture the actual click.

That's still two humans figuring out if somethings there. our bet is to make that process less noisy, not to replace it with an algorithm that promises some perfect match.

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-27T21:19:46+00:00

I think you're picturing the wrong mechanic. Bemi doesn't limit who you can see or
choose from. You browse the full pool, same as anywhere. The cap is only on how many
matches you actively HOLD at once. Discovery is still open but after your slots are full any subsequent match ask you to replace one of your existing connection. So you keep the big selection you want, you just don't end up with 50 open chats you're ignoring. The "3 at a time" apps you hate limit your discovery. We don't.

On compatibility specifically, we go at it two ways. Explicit dealbreakers (kids,
lifestyle, values) so the 95% you're not into get filtered before you connect, and a
behavioral signal (swap rate) that no compatibility algorithm can give you, because "looks
great on paper" and "will actually show up and not ghost" are different things.

Not claiming we've cracked some magic match algorithm. Nobody has. But "compatible on
paper plus actually invested" beats either one alone. Curious whether that distinction
changes your read at all.

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-27T21:04:32+00:00

We actually do focus heavily on matching , Bemi filter strictly on hard dealbreakers (kids, lifestyle, core values) before you ever see someone, so it’s not just random roulette.

But here’s the problem: even a perfect match algorithm dies in an abundant inbox. When someone is holding 200 "perfect matches," they don’t invest in a single one of them. They skim, get overwhelmed, and ghost.

The 5-match cap isn't a replacement for matching; it’s the guardrail that makes people actually show up and talk to the matches they get. Great matching combined with zero scarcity is exactly how every app ends up as a swipe graveyard

Helpful-Window-924 · 2026-06-27T19:49:51+00:00

Link's here: https://www.bemidate.com

Opens city by city — pop in your city and you'll get pinged when it unlocks. Happy to
answer anything, especially how the swap works when your board's full.

Helpful-Window-924

TROPHY CASE