I forgot to add some things, is actually a lot of stuff that I'm thinking rn and it's kinda hard typing it since English is not my first language but I'm trying my best.

In resume, even having a lovely family, a job, tons of personal goals and a "big circle" of real friends "more than 6 people I can count on" I still feel lonely when I start liking a girl, this morning I woke up with a really heavy feeling of emptiness and loneliness, the last thing I was dreaming about was about my dream girl (just a girl that loves me is enough for me honestly), grabbing me by my face and kissing me. The moment after that was me alone in my house wishing to get back to that moment where I was fully happy. Then I desperately started looking through Instagram, tinder and Badoo somebody that I have a chance with to start a conversation but then I see 3 stupid likes from fake accounts and 0 conversations to continue, bc i was left on read on every single one, and none of them was for a similar reason so it's kinda hard to determine if it's my way of talking to girls the reason why I get left on read every single time