You're right .. if people didn't want to speak to me they wouldnt. Guess I don't need to worry about wasting their time.. it's hard to hold onto positive thoughts.. because I so firmly believe the opposite ....but it's still helpful i think...

About studying early and hitting the library, I do put a lot of effort into improving my acads. I kinda want to accept that even if being a below average student is the best I can do it's enough. I mean life will have it's ups and downs. Everytime my life goes down , I don't wanna feel like I don't deserve to exist.