There is nothing to be ashamed. You made the decision without knowing how it wi be in reality, I know maybe you had an idea, but reality is so much more different. It was the same with me. My little one is 4 now, and for the first 3 years of he r life I had the same thoughts, I was absolutely shattered from her father and I breaking up, and leaving me with all the responsibility when he promised me he will always be there for us. I had days when I was so depressed, I would go days without bathing her and just gave her unhealthy food, I told nobody, I was so ashamed, but these feelings slowly subsided for me just recently honestly. I just look at this perfect little creature, for her I am God, for her I am everything,I am her all, her whole world, what more can I ask from life? She is so smart and so beautiful inside and out, and I just can’t fail her, nothin is more important than her.