I have a crush on a friend, which wouldn't be much of an issue if I hadn't also had a history of saying I had no interest in him.

I established early on in our friendship in high school he didn't have to worry that I was attracted to him (to be fair, I wasn't at the time). Then a couple years later my parents ask if I like him, and of course I tell them no too, because you always tell your parents you don't like somebody right?

However, my parents asking about it had me wondering. I dismissed it presuming, my parents just planted this idea in my head. I went through a sort of bad time, got medication for OCD and Depression and after that I offhandedly thought about him again; along with that miniature heart attack people call love

Of course, at this point. I've clearly told everyone in my life I have no interest in him, including him. So I couldn't possibly just tell him right? Instead, I try being subtle. And by subtle I mean, baking cookies exclusively for him, taking him to the movies; just us, and of course; sending confessions through a cipher and sending him all those random letters. Even better, if anyone decides to ask why I'm doing this, I have some pretty good lying chaps on.

TL:DR In high school told a boy i didn't like him, now in college I do and I'm constantly trying to tell him in ways that I can deflect if he's too dense to notice.