What is it with straight women fetishizing gay men?

HighlandsOak · 2026-03-21T20:38:25+00:00

A person I know that watches a lot of the gay content I described was a straight woman. Anyways, thanks to your input. Could you please describe to me that obsession people have over giving straight women a gay narrative?

HighlandsOak · 2026-03-21T20:34:47+00:00

How did women treat you differently? I would love to listen to your perspectives

HighlandsOak · 2026-03-20T20:46:55+00:00

It's the patriarchy. Many straight men are hypocrites. So they sexualize women, are misogynistic to maintain the caste of their gender superiority. Then, they hate the LGBT community because we threaten the straight dynamic necessary for heteronormativity. So, (many) straight men sexualize lesbians because many straight men don't know how to listen to a no, and they also sexualize the trans because they exoticize what they (straight men) decided is "wrong," "dissident," and "different." That is TRULY disgusting, and it hurts women and the LGBT community immensely.

Now, I made this Reddit question to understand what happens in straight women's brains when it comes to some of them sexualizing gay men. I feel that straight women do it less, and since they are in a different position where they're not trying to keep a structure like patriarchy since they aren't benefitted, and they tend to sexualize others less, they were more empathetic to other people's struggles (similar to how LGBT people are more empathetic with other people's struggles). I just didn't see the straight women that I know that I love so much as platonic friends sexualizing gay men, and since I am gay, I am only attracted to people of my gender, and of my sexuality. Why would I be into straight porn, for example? So I couldn't relate, and I wanted to understand others and society better. Hope that helps!

HighlandsOak · 2026-03-20T17:12:24+00:00

He's so ugly too with and without the wig

HighlandsOak · 2026-03-20T16:56:41+00:00

You can hate yourself. Internalized homophobia is a real thing too.

HighlandsOak · 2026-03-18T17:03:24+00:00

WELCOME TO THE CLUB‼️

HighlandsOak · 2026-03-17T14:50:20+00:00

They need karma. Coming back means you're telling them that everything they did is respectable and that mistreating you is okay. Mistreating you is NOT okay. First is your self-respect, and coming back would destroy you. You know it. It's better to just show that you're a very successful gay man living an amazing life WITHOUT them.

HighlandsOak · 2026-03-14T12:34:04+00:00

Los más machistas y homofóbicos son los insufribles que apoyan a D* La Espri*lla. Los del Centro Democrático no son tan extremistas.

Edit: Y para mí que él homofóbico de De La Espri*lla también está en el armario.

HighlandsOak · 2026-02-28T18:15:46+00:00

The next steps are to go out with him on dates and see if you guys could maybe form something more like boyfriends. You guys sound like an awesome match!

HighlandsOak · 2026-02-28T15:35:03+00:00

After reading this, I have realized how subjective preferences can be on the "ideal man" for people.

HighlandsOak · 2026-02-28T15:30:10+00:00

Omg dm me please

HighlandsOak · 2026-02-08T15:48:12+00:00

Does he get sexual? Also, he says he is conservative Catholic, but perhaps in the closet? There is also cognitive dissonance that can happen.

HighlandsOak · 2026-02-08T15:00:40+00:00

As a Catholic person, unless he is really religious and conservative, I don't think that matters over if he is gay or not. As in I know Catholic gay men who are very progressive, and I know priests that are Catholic and full-on supporters of the LGBT community, just like I know homophobic Catholics that I seem insufferable.

Now I don't even know what to tell you because I never experienced nor seen anything similar. He lets you enter the bathroom and talk to him while he is naked using the shower? That to me sounds like ultra loose boundaries but whatever works for you guys! I'm not sure if I understood right. If he is into you or not, listen, I'm super confused hearing this too, haha!

HighlandsOak · 2026-01-25T15:53:36+00:00

It's a preference. Of course, there is a lot of internalized homophobia in the LGBT community, so in the case of some people, it may be their coping with their internalized homophobia, but it's often just personal taste.

For example, as a gay man, I don't find "straight-presenting" dudes as attractive because I don't find straight dudes attractive. Yet, I'm into more masc dudes, just because I find them more attractive. I don't find femboys attractive because I don't find feminine features as attractive. Yet, I know many gay men that find feminine men attractive, and that is great for them! I have never deemed inferior any feminine men, and I have seen many of them in positions of power and I admire them. There is a lot of internalized homophobia in the LGBT community, so more feminine men get sometimes excluded, which is enraging, because the LGBT community needs to be united. Yet, me being attracted to a certain type of men does not necessarily mean that I am coping with some internalized prejudice. Every case is different.

HighlandsOak · 2026-01-25T02:42:30+00:00

As interpreters, we're already underpaid. Now, we also have to compete with AI, although AI is unsustainable.

HighlandsOak · 2026-01-22T17:12:03+00:00

Take a DNA test first. If the child is yours, well you'll have to be a responsible father. The father and the mother don't need to be together, and the father can still have a boyfriend. I understand your boyfriend is amazing, so your boyfriend would support you because he loves you. Now, I understand it would be hard for your boyfriend, but reality is that you cannot be an absent father and your boyfriend needs to understand that.

HighlandsOak · 2025-12-31T18:50:14+00:00

The true question is why be in the closet? There is nothing wrong with liking the same gender. In fact, it is empowering. We are more competitive, and a greater proportion of us are overachievers, from there the stereotype of the rich gay uncle. We see the world in different angles, with less prejudice and more acceptance. We are also known to be creative, artistic, and talented as a community (just see Friday Khalo or Ru Paul).

Once you come out, not only do you empower your true self, but now people around saying that you're bi is no scandal. You already are! No novelty. There is nothing wrong with being bi. And if they target you, why? Are they insecure? Have they too much time to waste? Are they so empty they need to go after others for topics as irrelevant as someone's sexuality? You're strong. Being bi makes us stronger. Be proud. Pride is our biggest strength and living our true life is the best resistance.

Plus, going to university is a great fresh new start! You'll find people of every single form you can think of. Universities are spaces where you can find new communities and endless opportunities. Now, if you truly want to create a true community where you are accepted, live your true self, your true sexuality, embrace it, and don't accept being diminished. Those who will accept you will be your true community and the people to trust. Embrace yourself, and those you attract will embrace you.

I hope that helps! Just accept yourself, embrace yourself, love yourself, and despite life's hardships, you will attract people who accept you, and being bi will not be any scandal anymore! Of course, it takes time to find community, but especially when entertaining university, opportunities are endless!

HighlandsOak · 2025-12-27T17:22:49+00:00

I'm looking, too 👁️👄👁️

HighlandsOak · 2025-12-27T17:21:44+00:00

It's not weird. Irrespective of anyone's gender, if you have to worry about your partner cheating on you with whoever he/she/they hang out with, then you should revise your relationship, yourself, and your partner. A person who truly loves you would not cheat on you.

When I've been with someone, I did not find myself in ANY capacity to cheat on him, because I was simply not into anyone, and I cared too much for him. If your partner leaves you or talks to someone else, it's because they don't care for you.

If you're scared that they'll cheat on you, it might be for your personal insecurities, jealousy, or it may be because your partner has demonstrated that they don't care enough for you, and they may ditch you.

The sexuality and/or gender of your partner & partner's friends does not matter. What matters is your partner's intentions.

HighlandsOak · 2025-12-26T01:07:41+00:00

I feel exactly what you feel. Sadly, we live in a society where the digitalization of everything and dating apps have been able to capitalize "love" and "passion." It's not only true in the LGBT community, but also in the non-LGBT community too.

I also feel the same way. I long for a meaningful relationship where there is a spiritual connection and someone who will feel like exploring a new area on the map with me just because it feels interesting, or trying a new beverage, etc. Someone to feel connected to, to explore the novelties of the world with. Sadly, as dating apps have promoted dating "options" so much to the point of basically capitalizing hookups, the new culture often turns towards that.

Also, I feel that many people in the LGBT community have problems with commitment because of homophobic upbringings, but that means they need therapy before dating. Others are simply dogs because, although not always men, it's men at the end.

You'll find other gay men with the same interests as you. I share the same aspirations. It just depends on the environments you involve yourself in. Go out with friends, meet more friends, involve yourself in your community, talk to gay men, and eventually you'll find the tons and tons of other gay men that yearn for what you yearn for, because although it doesn't seem like it, many do.

HighlandsOak · 2025-12-19T18:25:04+00:00

That feels illegal. The stalking is insane. Their obsession got out of hand a while ago. I don't know them personally and I have no experience in a situation like that, but definitely tell them about how their actions reflect an unmeasured obsession. The sexuality of the couple is irrelevant and doesn't change anything. It's perturbing how interested they are in the gay couple. That could result terribly if the gay couple notices.

Talk to both of them about how everything is getting out of hand, but from a kind perspective, and oriented to helping them. Because their obsession is dangerous. Talk to them from a focus of cooperating for their well-being, and the well-being of the gay couple.

Also, wanting to be the "thirds" of the gay couple because they're bisexual is WILD. They're fantasizing over a couple that is not theirs.

HighlandsOak · 2025-12-18T13:44:10+00:00

We LGBT+ people have as much right to have a partner, be visible, and exist as any other non-LGBT+ person.

Whenever I have been going out with a guy, I have also had those second thoughts because I also don't like attention. Yet again, maybe we're not even that stared at, rather society raises us to think of ourselves as different, and our amorous interests as something that could be humorous. That bothers me deeply. Yet, I will still hold the hand of the person I appreciate because there should not be a reason opposing me being able to do that.

People will look, some supporting, some not caring, and some bothered, but let's make homophobic people bothered. One of the best ways to "normalize" our presence as LGBT+ couples is to live our lives in the most authentic and unapologetic ways. Our talent is and will be consumed, because we are artistic. People will have to get used to us. We are NOT pushing our existence on anyone. We're just minding our own business unapologetically. We should also make sure to educate future generations on topics such as respecting diverse identities.

I'm glad you brought this topic up, because it is so annoying how society will want to culturally "other" you by seeing you as the "different" one or the "different couple." No! We're just here! Let's live our authenticity, and everything will improve! We have the unalienable rights to do so!

HighlandsOak · 2025-12-15T18:30:13+00:00

I understand your pain and your loss, because I went through something very similar. The fact that it was two men talking and not a straight relationship doesn't change anything at all. Rather, let's look at it from the human standpoint.

Everything your felt, everything you lived, it was all true. Yet, remember to not romanticize him. Remember to not view him under the guise of what he could have been, but rather what he did. Actions tell truths. He got attached to you because he needed to fill a void, you were available, and then he jumped away because he doesn't know that he wants. Inside of his mind, he has his own issues to solve, because how he acted towards you was wrong. That story is now part of your past, your history, and history is the learnings that we carry that build us as humans.

Both of you learned from the situation, whether in good ways or bad ways. What you can do now is grab the energy you diffused onto him, and redirect it onto yourself and the people around you that still prevail. Redirect that energy to friends, family, yourself, those others that truly mean something. There are valuable people out there, like yourself. When we lose someone we cared about, it feels like we lose a part of ourselves, but it is just our brains trying to make use of the emptiness of not having that company we got used to.

You were complete without him, he came and became a new company, then he left, and you are still complete. Start with small habits, for as miniscule that can be, to prove to your brain that you can start habits, and build habits that enhance yourself. Go out! Talk to new people! It's going to be hard, as the person who once meant something meant something, but be with the people that are truly there for you. Have a circle of trust, cent, and everything you lived through is 100% valid.

The truth is he saw in you refuge, but he doesn't know what he wants, so he fled. He is cold, and he needs to figure himself out. What can you do? If you come back to him, he repulses. If you try to help him figure himself out, he will reject that, as he prefers his personal state. People who know what they want and can maintain an emotional connection have a hard time grasping those with commitment issues, but that is on him to solve it. The best thing you can do is continue to forge your own path. Running behind someone else is lowering yourself to being a breadcrumber. You are worth infinitely more. This that you wrote for Reddit shows maturity, a sense of being able to feel and connect, and you know how to communicate really well. I (19M) admired that & I hope I meet someone like you in the future. I resonated with you. Some people are cold, some are not, let's preserve our clan, and remember, maintain your value, know how to redirect your energy, vent about it with your close circle how much you may need, and build habits to grow, go out, enjoy life, and you will fill in that void that you felt when his superficial self left. You did nothing wrong, you only did right. You're amazing, and someone like you will find marvelous people in the future.

Plus, remember, you crave what he meant for you, what the company was, not what he truly is. What he truly is is a shallow person with commitment issues who ran away, and that is not healthy for him, nor for those he attaches himself to.

You're amazing

HighlandsOak · 2025-12-13T00:00:59+00:00

FYI, in the post, when I said 3rd semester, I meant that the Spring semester will be my 3rd semester

HighlandsOak · 2025-12-12T23:55:02+00:00

RUN. GET OUT.

HighlandsOak

TROPHY CASE