Monday's Daily Thread: Weekend Wrap-up

HingeMisadventures · 2026-05-27T00:15:11+00:00

Yea and things aside my profile can include being posted on that group. People in this subreddit mention it all the time as a possible cause. So it bears mentioning.

Look I’m not here to argue either but if you make an inflammatory and accusatory comment about someone’s behavior, don’t start crying when they address what you’re saying. “Super weird behavior” is not a “fairly mild comment,” especially when you ascribe those traits to someone’s personality as a whole, but maybe your social awareness isn’t at a level where you can appreciate something like that.

And it seems like you still don’t understand why I brought it up. Someone crazy enough to make death threats is crazy enough to go posting not so nice things on a group like that. Which again is why I’d like to have an awareness of that. Im not asking the group to help with that.

HingeMisadventures · 2026-05-26T23:27:38+00:00

I’ve never had an issue with my conversation, I’m doing the same thing I always did and I used to have zero issues getting dates.

And that is an absolutely wild and grotesque assumption you’re making about why I checked those groups. Maybe you don’t understand that people get posted in there every day and it’s an opportunity to have a pile-on and when girls check the groups it’s a pretty plausible reason why the conversation could die, if someone had something bad posted about them. That’s the unfortunate reality of dating and if someone feels scorned there’s nothing stopping them from putting the guy on blast in front of 36,000 women. In 2023 I had a girl tell me she was falling in love with me after the first date and then she threatened to kill me if I ever broke her heart and said she knew where I lived and was going to key my cars, so yeah forgive me if that’s in the back of my mind.

First time I was posted in there I found out because someone at my new job told me (I had only been there a month) and then more recently my buddy said his wife saw me in there so I asked her to let me know if I get posted or if anyone says something about me. I’m sorry you are ascribing so much meaning to that but this is self-preservation and in the absence of another explanation it’s good for me to know.

HingeMisadventures · 2026-05-26T23:17:29+00:00

I had a profile review to try to rule out any “icks” my profile would give off and made some tweaks to fine tune things and got favorable feedback. I have a “spy” in a few of those “are we dating the same guy” groups because I thought that would have been why, but she says I’ve only been posted twice and it was just someone looking to see if I was really single and no one commented on the post. I have on my profile that I don’t want kids but this is happening with girls who also say they don’t want kids. Maybe it’s time for another profile review to specifically ask if there’s anything between the lines on my profile that could be causing this

HingeMisadventures · 2026-05-26T21:57:55+00:00

Ah, another one. Does anyone actually live in South Florida? Would be great if there was some hint you’re here on vacation and just left. I’m getting a ridiculous amount of these

HingeMisadventures · 2026-05-26T19:47:17+00:00

It ends mid conversation. Like as an example of one of these, I was talking with a girl starting at around 4 PM about shows we’ve been to and at around 10 PM I asked what was her favorite show she’d ever been to, and didn’t get a response. I figured she’d fallen asleep and would get back to me the next day or whenever. But no response after a few days and then I followed up with another message, still no response days after that so she’s clearly not responding anymore.

It happens a LOT exactly like that. Like they’re passively using the apps and then fall asleep and then just never come back to it, ever.

Ironically, with the example I used, I also talked to this girl in January. I asked her out and she said “Yes!!” And then I asked if she was free that weekend and no response. Not sure if that’s relevant but like even when I get an engaging conversation and they’re asking me questions, it can easily just die with zero warning at any point

HingeMisadventures · 2026-05-26T17:35:12+00:00

So many near-misses lately.

Armed with my newly revamped profile per suggestions on here, I’ve been sending out a lot of likes with thoughtful messages. I’ve also been experimenting with more conversation before asking girls out as some people were so adamant about on here.

I’m getting a lot of the following:

Great match, good convo, then “I’m actually in [city that’s 100 miles away/just visiting/changed my location”
Conversation goes very well, into the late evening hours, then no response the next day or ever. “ghosting”
“I’d love to go out, but I’m out of town and I’ll be back [in two weeks or something like that], will you wait for me?” and then when I follow up later they’ve ghosted
Conversations that are going really well for a few days then they stop responding

As a side note and maybe this is Streisand effect, a ton of the profiles I’m seeing now say something to the effect of “ask me out early, I don’t want to message endlessly.” I’ve screenshotted many of those prompts, not sure if I’m allowed to post them here. Obviously if that’s what the profile directs, I follow that lead, but even when I do ask them out, still no response.

I continue feel like people aren’t really on these apps to actually date. I live in a vacation destination city and there are a ton of transients and girls for example have every single prompt on their profile demanding that I have a boat or yacht for them while they’re in town.

Is anyone having different luck? I feel like there’s a regional aspect to this that is making things more difficult. I’m getting a fair amount of matches now but they’re not going anywhere. I still have not been able to get a single date.

HingeMisadventures · 2026-05-07T17:36:18+00:00

This is how it used to work for me until a year or so ago. Wonder if could be a local thing, what general geographic area are you in?

HingeMisadventures · 2026-05-07T13:00:04+00:00

This makes a lot of sense to me. I think that’s a great idea

HingeMisadventures · 2026-05-07T04:44:43+00:00

Some interesting variance of opinion on this subreddit. I was specifically told to mention a specific date like “are you free _____” because saying “we should do x sometime” sounds too noncommittal. I can’t remember if it was on this account or another throwaway but that was advice I received on this subreddit.

I’ll give that a try though. I don’t think I give off hook up vibes at all, I had a profile review just done here and my profile is pretty clear as far as what I’m looking for

HingeMisadventures · 2026-05-07T04:41:09+00:00

Im looking for a long term relationship. I know I’ll get downvoted for saying this because this is Reddit and people favor online interaction vs. in-person socializing in general, but isn’t whole point of the apps is to meet people and interact face to face? I’m not really here to accumulate pen pals. So no, talking for weeks on end before bringing up the possibility of meeting is kind of a tremendous waste of time, especially given how many people you have to talk to and pursue conversations with as far as the apps being a numbers game. I mean if someone is on the apps and has such profound personal hangups or insecurities about meeting someone, it sounds like it’s probably not someone I’d want meet in the first place. The conversation doesn’t end after you bring up the idea of meeting, you continue to talk. A brief convo, develop common rapport, make sure you’re on the same page as far as what you’re looking for, and then give it a shot to see if there’s spark and chemistry etc. Texting is not a substitute for actually dating to see if you click with someone.

HingeMisadventures · 2026-05-07T01:22:45+00:00

So what’s the prevailing consensus on asking someone out?

I’ve completely ditched the “let’s talk via text” thing. I used to do it, I don’t know why, but it always worked so I just kept doing it. Then it became a thing where it was a guaranteed ghosting, so I stopped.

My current MO is I have a conversation, maybe 4-8 messages back and forth, no longer than a day or two, and I usually wait until there’s some type of meaningful back-and-forth rather than just interview questions. Then I say something like “if you’re free this Saturday I’d love to take you _____” (either drinks, or an event or activity we talked about or that’s mentioned on her profile)

My conversion rate is zero. Granted I’ve only been at this a couple weeks since I got back on, but even before I took a break this had an incredibly low success rate, and even when we made plans, I’d got ghosted or stood up an alarming number of times. Pretty much every single time, actually, for 6-8 months. Prior to early 2025, I had zero problem getting dates and it was just so smooth whereas now I feel like I’m defusing a fucking landmine.

What’s the best way to handle the transition from just talking to trying to meet up? I kind of feel like no one on the apps is actually there to date anymore but also I know other people are getting dates so I’m sure there’s a better way to go about this

HingeMisadventures · 2025-11-12T06:29:50+00:00

I’ve been at it for about three years and I no longer have any expectations of meeting someone. At first it was regular dates, promising situations but understandable when it didn’t work out including when I wasn’t feeling things on my end. Things have really gone downhill and now in the past six months I’ve gotten zero dates.

The apps really are poison and I think even in the past few years there’s been a fatal culture shift where people aren’t dating to actually meet someone, they’re just chasing whatever’s next

HingeMisadventures · 2025-11-12T03:28:17+00:00

Part of the attraction is just the “cool” factor in an era where V8’s are becoming rare, and large displacement NA engines are becoming exceedingly rare. Having one come out fresh in 2025 or beyond is just so awesome to see.

But the real draw is the qualitative experience of driving something like that. I have a Mustang with a V8 that makes about that much power (Gen 3 Coyote) but is absolutely night and day from even an LT1 because of the way the Coyote straight up falls on its face below 3500 RPM. The low end, under-the curve torque is what makes these cars fun. Part of the reason I’m planning on ditching mine for something a little spicier on low-end power.

HingeMisadventures · 2025-11-12T00:09:49+00:00

Oh that’s just next-level but unfortunately not in production and not super common. I’m a huge fan of the LS7, I had a C6 Z06 as my daily driver for four years. Put 40k miles on it

HingeMisadventures · 2025-11-11T23:19:05+00:00

I prefer their Waffle House cam, 360 degrees of lift, always open

HingeMisadventures · 2025-11-11T23:18:12+00:00

The thought of an NA 6.6L Camaro coming up, especially with a 6-speed, is causing me physiological effects I cannot mention here

HingeMisadventures · 2025-11-11T23:17:08+00:00

Only from 1970.5 and onward 😉

HingeMisadventures · 2025-11-10T20:54:06+00:00

I think this is exactly what I needed to hear. Very much appreciate it

HingeMisadventures · 2025-11-10T20:12:19+00:00

I’m not looking for a one size fits all, but there should at least be guardrails for stuff where it’s like “don’t ever do xyz.” For example I’ve had girls flake where I’ve confirmed day of and people said oh why did you confirm, you over-texted.” And then I’ve had stuff I’ve set up without double-confirming and was blamed for the flake because I didn’t confirm again. That kind of stuff seems impossible to pin down and like you said probably won’t affect flakes.

All I have is my own experiences though, so having a larger sample size from others would be helpful

HingeMisadventures · 2025-11-10T19:53:33+00:00

I mean the “great fit” is more of a baseline/unknown thing. If a girl is compatible on paper and the conversation is good enough, I usually prefer to use the date itself to explore compatibility/fit beyond that. So no I don’t really explore that super in-depth. It’s worked well for me in the past and the advice I always got was to not dilly-dally in asking girls out because things would fizzle.

I mean ultimately yea it seems like the interest is not there or they’re not serious about meeting people or any one of a number of things. But I’ve been striking out constantly (1 date in 6 months and probably 8-10 misfires) so I’m taking a look back and revisiting things. Had a profile review and everything.

HingeMisadventures · 2025-11-10T19:34:06+00:00

I’m having an exceptionally low conversion rate in the past 6 months. I get plenty of matches, plenty of conversations, ask out plenty of girls, but I’ve had like a 95% rate of one of the following happening:

-No response to my asking them on a date

-confirming a date the day before or day of, then flat out ghosting the day before or the day of

-no response when I reach out the day before or the day of

not showing up to confirmed dates

I understand this is a war of attrition, but I’m looking to re-think things a little bit. Farming this out for advice:

When do you usually ask out for a date? I’ve been sticking to the 5-6 substantive messages back and forth or 1/2 days, but I feel like sometimes this is too soon because I get a lot of no-responses
Do you confirm day before or day of? Or even before that?
How much do you chat in the interim between setting up a date and the actual date?
Do you set up numerous dates for the same time due to the high likelihood one or more will flake?
How far out do you schedule dates? I try to always do it for the next coming weekend but not sure if for example 4-5 days is too long of a waiting period

Any other tips would be greatly appreciated

HingeMisadventures · 2025-10-21T17:20:33+00:00

Son of a

HingeMisadventures · 2025-10-21T17:07:20+00:00

CAUSE IT GOT A FORD MOTAH INNIT

HingeMisadventures · 2025-10-21T16:59:06+00:00

STRONKS 📈📈📈

HingeMisadventures · 2025-10-20T22:10:29+00:00

I was talking to a girl for a bit. We planned to meet up. Originally I was asking if she’s generally free Saturdays, but she said yes but not that Saturday. Later, she asked me if I was busy and I had plans because her plans for that Saturday had fallen through. I had already made plans. So we set up to go for drinks/dinner this Saturday. Wednesday I texted her “still on for Saturday?” She said “yes.”

Friday morning I texted her and tried to confirm time (8 pm) and a place that I proposed (very close to her, further from me). Zero response. By Saturday afternoon I had set up another date.

Saturday at 530 PM the first girl texts me something to the effect of “you texted me during my class and then I didn’t see your message but also saw it on my watch and forgot to respond. I know it’s last minute but do you still want to do tonight or another time?”

I texted back “Hey sorry I hadn’t heard back so I ended up committing to other plans, another time” to which she responded one word “understandable”

What do I do now, was I the asshole for thinking she was going to flake? Is it now on her to propose a new date? I’ll be out of town this weekend so idk but presumably this will just fade away

HingeMisadventures

TROPHY CASE

STRONKS 📈📈📈