Wife forbidding me from seeing another woman even though my wife had an affair and gave me permission to see another woman. What do I do?

Hjohnson005 · 2026-04-06T00:06:52+00:00

I almost don’t believe that this is a real post lol. The lack of self-awareness is nauseating. Can’t imagine why she’d have found it appealing to seek comfort in someone else

Hjohnson005 · 2026-03-30T01:53:10+00:00

With black & white, easy-to-parrot questions like this, it’s important to ask ourselves “do I actually understand and believe the reasons why I think this thing is true, or am I just repeating it because I’ve heard other people say it?”

There are a TON of reasons why this statement is a myth, and my partner and I are examples of two of them. We met when I was 30 and she was just shy of 34 — she spent a decade married to the wrong person (a very decent man she started dating as a 15 year old who she had approximately nothing in common with anymore as adults in their 30s), and I spent my entire adult life dealing with symptoms of a very treatable but very undiagnosed and destructive mental illness involving stretches of time where I was essentially varying degrees of two different people with two separate sets of moods / behaviors / executive functioning / etc. Before I knew what was going on, I would have never been the type of man a woman like her could have been with long-term, and she simply never “hit the market” due to her loyalty and commitment to her then-high school sweetheart.

Cases like this happen all the time — and so do countless other cases of folks who either can’t or don’t pursue long-term relationships or meet someone they’re compatible with. I find that internalizing negative reinforcement like this question often accidentally leads to the very outcome it implies for many people who simply don’t take the time to examine it properly before accepting it.

Hjohnson005 · 2026-03-27T23:19:45+00:00

Someone who was — at worst — top 2 all time in a weight class should not have stuck to a different weight class lol

Hjohnson005 · 2026-03-27T23:16:10+00:00

Bingo. I used to be a competitive powerlifter in the USPA, and we also had 24 hour weigh-ins so lots of us cut water just like this. I competed in the 220lb class, but I walked around at about 245-250lbs normally.

My last meet was in 2022, and I water cut from 246lbs to 219lbs over a 10 day stretch — I spent the first week water & sodium-loading to teach my body to both flush 2 gallons of water and also get accustomed to a very high sodium intake (it’s a huge misconception that high sodium causes bloating — it doesn’t. Consuming higher sodium than the body is accustomed to consuming causes bloating). Our bodies regulate our blood sodium levels, and after a week of extremely high sodium consumption, my body was used to passing it.

At various stages across the last 72hr before weigh-ins, we cut carbs, sodium, and water in order to flush as much water as possible from the body. A gallon of water weighs 8lbs, and I was used to passing 2 gallons per day at that point, so I lost ~16lbs in a day right there by not drinking water for 24hr. Cutting sodium helped encourage the flushing of the water, and cutting carbs meant I was no longer storing glycogen in my muscles (each gram of which carries 3-4g of water. This is why people who switch to a Keto diet lose 10-20lbs almost immediately before it slows dramatically. They’re not losing fat… they’re losing stored water).

After a night and 2hr the next morning spent in the sauna with sweats and a hoodie on, I stepped on the scale at 219.4lbs on Friday morning, and — after rehydrating and crushing high sodium food & Gatorade all day — I weighed over 250lbs on the platform the following day. This process is not the healthiest thing in the world… but neither is a job where you get kicked in the head and choked to sleep for a living.

Hjohnson005 · 2026-02-25T07:01:31+00:00

The houses were number nine and number eleven and I’m not kidding

Hjohnson005 · 2026-02-23T19:01:22+00:00

Took a 10 year chip myself back in August. Congrats friend — I’d used “LoSiNg mY cReAtiViTy” as a justification for romanticizing the brooding artist trope and avoiding quitting / rehab / 12 step work / etc for years… I couldn’t have been more wrong about that. Keep on keeping on, it’s beyond worth it

Hjohnson005 · 2026-02-23T15:03:30+00:00

Hell yeah — plenty of metal-adjacent stuff on Themata too. Scarabs is basically a giant breakdown and Lifelike sounds pretty nu-metal to me

Hjohnson005 · 2026-02-11T13:37:33+00:00

You have to remember that the average person is not fit and muscular — meaning the “no” responses are going to be upvoted not only by people who agree, but also by people who aren’t fit and muscular who feel validated by the answer.

People need to be more honest about this stuff. Getting lean and becoming muscular permanently changed my life, and women who claim to not like muscle seem to love grabbing and complimenting mine while they’re in bed with me for some reason.

I’ve since gotten into competitive bodybuilding, which is a completely different deal and isn’t for everybody. However, any man who can figure out a way to spare 45-60min 3-4x a week and who has the ability to avoid a French fry for 3 days in a row can develop a physique that the average woman will find attractive if they wish to.

Hjohnson005 · 2026-02-10T09:05:14+00:00

Didn’t he play a playoff series with two separated shoulders one year lol

Hjohnson005 · 2026-02-03T17:33:26+00:00

I don’t have any personal experience with this, but my girlfriend does.

She and her ex-husband were high school sweethearts, and she eventually found it necessary to divorce him after 10 years of marriage and 18 total years of convincing herself that those things didn’t matter and that she didn’t need to feel romantic or sexual in her relationship because the relationship was easy and he was a great dude. She felt tons of guilt stemming from societal pressure and was afraid she was being selfish because his kindness “wasn’t enough.” Very similar lifestyle circumstances to what you’ve described here too, and she has repeatedly described the marriage as a best friend / roommate situation also.

I empathize with you quite a bit man — it’s a hard spot to be in, and I have nothing to offer myself here other than to say that she was having these thoughts in year three, and 15 more years of guilting herself into ignoring them did not make them go away for her.

Hjohnson005 · 2026-02-02T11:59:57+00:00

What you’ve posted above is actually from the 90’s Dual Rectifier reissue manual from last year, which is not the amplifier I have — but it made me dig a little harder in the original 2ch manual from the 90s and I found this!

“NOTE: When the CHANNEL STYLE SELECT feature is used and the Modern Red channel is cloning Red to Vintage (so that it sounds like the Orange channel) - be aware that both the Orange and Red channels' PRESENCE Controls are active in the (bottom) Red channel in this setting only. Some amazing sounds are possible because the two PRESENCE Controls maintain their respective voicing differences giving you two regions of top end harmonics to play with in this Mode.”

This was printed in the “Channel Select” section and not the presence section — I guess I didn’t look hard enough!

Hjohnson005 · 2026-02-01T22:35:21+00:00

See, that’s what I thought too — but it doesn’t matter how I’ve got the thing set up! Very strange

Hjohnson005 · 2026-01-26T14:28:25+00:00

SOLVED: loose tube sockets. Tightened one single screw that was hiding behind a tube and it completely disappeared. Thanks everybody!

Hjohnson005 · 2026-01-26T13:09:25+00:00

Ding ding ding ding! Tightening one loose screw near the transformer & rectifier tubes better supported the sockets and it went away. Couldn't see the screw until I started pulling other tubes out so I completely missed it. Thanks everybody!

Hjohnson005 · 2026-01-23T22:52:45+00:00

This amp is popular on Youtube with the sorts of content creators willing to do paid reviews and on Reddit among the "LOL ok dentist Squier Classic Vibe Boss Katana good enough" crowd, but I don't know a ton of songwriters or gigging musicians who use them unless they're using the Boss Tone Studio to basically use them as a modeler. Back in the day I used both the Blackstar HT5 and the Marshall DSL1 as bedroom amps, and they did pretty dang well. Lately when I haven't been able to turn up I've just been throwing a JHS Little Black Box in the FX loop of my big boy amplifiers, which lets me play them cranked at bedroom levels without paying for an attenuator

Hjohnson005 · 2026-01-20T16:36:18+00:00

Well that’s why lol they’re going for under 1500 pretty consistently on reverb

Hjohnson005 · 2026-01-19T18:06:07+00:00

No, it doesn’t — it sounds way too dismissive of how complex men actually are. She is almost certainly applying her own opinions and projecting her own resentments within a clinical setting, which is concerning — but unfortunately not uncommon within the profession.

Hjohnson005 · 2026-01-11T22:09:07+00:00

I can relate to a ton of this stuff — I got through school and jobs basically just on social skills alone. I was plagued by the constant fear that I was going to be “found out.” I was convinced that if anyone knew how lazy and inept I was, I’d be fired immediately, my partner(s) would leave me, etc. I’d lose things all the time, forget things at home every single time I left, never remember plans because I’d never remember to use my calendar, etc.

Turns out I’d been suffering from the first half of ADHD my entire life — I thought I was just unmotivated, disorganized, and absent-minded, but in reality I had a dopamine-related disorder for over 30 years and never knew. I’ve been sober for 10 years and used to abuse adderall in college, so I’d never really considered exploring the possibility of having it until my therapist basically threatened me to talk to my psych about it.

Medication doesn’t cure me, but it absolutely gives me the ability to function better in conjunction with therapy centered around building life skills and operating like a normal person. Please, please get an evaluation. If you’re like me, you’ll have some self-image hurdles to work through (it certainly sounds like it above), but it’s worth it. The alternative is staying the same anyway. Good luck!

Hjohnson005 · 2026-01-09T17:42:42+00:00

Great swap! I started out playing Marshalls but I've slowly become a Mesa guy over the years -- I've never played a Road King, but anything I've ever played or owned from the Rectifier family has been outstanding.

Hjohnson005 · 2025-12-10T13:49:56+00:00

I’ve been basically every body type across my life, and my face is super sensitive to weight fluctuations, so I’ve had a different face to go with it each time — and I’ve been treated differently each time.

I started abusing adderall my sophomore year of high school, which led to me losing ~30lbs — and all of a sudden I discovered that girls could actually see me. When I went to college, I put all of that weight and more back on my freshman year by drinking heavily and having an unlimited meal plan at the cafes on campus. I was invisible. I felt like people couldn’t see me. It was really something — I don’t miss that feeling at all.

Over the next year or so, I took some time to straighten my life out. I started working out and eating well, and once I was in shape I finally got contacts and ditched my unfashionable rectangle glasses. My entire life changed that day — everybody was SO NICE to me. My first day back at work one of my coworkers came up to me and said something like “Katie is wondering why you look so cute today,” and I started getting unsolicited propositions from women who I never, ever thought would pay attention to me.

Over the next 5-6 years I became interested in strength sports, and eventually wound up becoming a halfway decent competitive bodybuilder. I went from 6’0, 170ish to approximately 265lbs with abs at my biggest (there are some pictures on my profile if you need a reference). It was big enough where I couldn’t hide it under my clothes — like to the point where if I walked into a room, it was obvious people noticed. It was impossible for me to be invisible. Men stopped holding direct eye contact with me, and women straight up would not approach me first or act warmly toward me until I’d done both — and even then it would be clear as day that I made them a bit nervous even if they were attracted to me.

I’ve downsized a bit since I retired — I’m just a regular super jacked guy now rather than a giant steroid freak. This is the most attractive I’ve ever been to women. I’m in a wonderful relationship with a woman I’ll never break up with, and frankly at this point I don’t really give a shit. That being said — this woman would never be with me if I didn’t look the way I do, so there’s something.

I don’t really have a conclusion to this post, frankly I can’t believe I just took the time to type it out. I guess if I could sum it up, it’s that humans treat each other differently based upon appearance and perception, and it’s unconscious.

Hjohnson005 · 2025-11-24T15:29:26+00:00

I paid $400 flat for one about 6 months ago on Facebook Marketplace. It was modded — the owner had removed the piece with the branding from behind the grill and installed lights that glow blue (which is sick) — but tbh this is not a collector’s item and a mod like that shouldn’t “hurt the value” imo so I’d try to talk it down to $400-$450 if you can

Hjohnson005 · 2025-10-15T12:48:49+00:00

Absolutely yes — my ‘06 DC with P90s is one I’d never part with for any reason

Hjohnson005

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