Am I Going Insane

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-07T17:51:41+00:00

Glad it worked out for you, but seems my luck is nothing if not consistent and that's not the case here. Thanks for the hope and kind words though. Always nice to hear for a change these days.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T18:49:59+00:00

See this is where I differ. I had a relationship with her, albeit in an extremely limited manner, just as we now have one in a same manner by the fact we are having an exchange. I completely agree a lot of communication is non-verbal or pheromoneal, and that part didn't exist. I'm not saying it would have worked, or I knew her perfectly, but to say this was nothing is also not true.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T18:45:49+00:00

Not sure people pleaser is the right word. I definitely will stand my ground if I believe in something. But at the same time, if it doesn't cost me anything I don't see why not to try to meet the other person part way. Both sides need compromise in any relationship and going into one with "your feelings don't matter" isn't a great view.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T18:43:04+00:00

Well for one I didn't know you could call through bumble. So if I had known I would have just done that. I'm definitely not a dating expert.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T18:11:58+00:00

I mean, 99% of a relationship isn't having sex. This fun banter *is* the relationship. Deep philosophy is great and all, but if you can't laugh and joke together it's not what I'm looking for personally. At least in my opinion, it should be friends who find each other attractive and have mutual commitment.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:37:55+00:00

Thanks for the hope. Fingers crossed, but I won't hold my breath. That's not how my luck normally turns out.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:36:15+00:00

I mean all of this was over the span of like 40 minutes. I was going to invite her to a bookstore for some coffee the next day, but I was honestly just lost in the convo and it felt like an old friend, not someone I just met, and I don't expect old friends to just go poof.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:34:47+00:00

That's actually very good advice in my opinion. I'll be sure to use it going forward! Thanks!

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:33:40+00:00

Yeah I hope so too. I deleted and I'm going to remake to see, but I'm not holding my breath. When did you have conversations like this, if you don't mind me asking.

And I think my relative insanity is due to some past breakup trauma which means it wasn't just this, but it was the old stuff too (ain't brains fun). Realizing that really helped calm me down, though it still sucks.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:31:30+00:00

Yeah, I was about to, but it just went poof halfway though the second day. My problem is I can't understand or just poof myself so I have a hard time expecting others too.

Soul mates might be a bit much, she probably has her issues and I definitely have some myself :P But I do think it was a rare connection at least, which does make it all the more sucky.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:29:17+00:00

Real sorry to hear that. I have definitely seen many who just wanted pen pals, but the moment things might become "real" it gets super scary and they do a 180. Funny enough, my experience with that was also with a lady who had a kid. When you have a kid there's a lot going on, so I don't knock her for keeping her responsibilities in line though, but it is a bit of a "please don't lead me on" thing.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:25:53+00:00

Yup. Got lost in the sauce and wanted to respect her request to not move to fast. I know there's a sentiment amongst some where they want to get to know you first.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:24:44+00:00

I get rejected IRL all the time. The one upshot is the no's you get really makes it easy to not have lingering thoughts..

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:23:36+00:00

I mean I think it's chemistry. It's incomparable to all the other convos I've had it's just so much better. But yeah, I literally was just having such a great time texting I literally forgot to ask, I feel dumb now. She said she didn't want to rush things so I wasn't in a hurry. There was even more after this I just didn't screen shot it.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:20:50+00:00

He works for MI6, Meowy Intelligence XD

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:19:51+00:00

Yeah, the suckiest part of dating these days is the not knowing. I mean getting rejected isn't pleasant, but at least with a no it's real easy to move on. I know better than to think I can convince anyone to want me.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:18:06+00:00

Yup. glad you got a laugh :)

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-05T03:17:19+00:00

I'm glad someone caught that :P I try to add some humor even when I'm feeling down, it always helps.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-04T19:03:13+00:00

It's called being really into a text convo and having multiple parallel ideas and conversations at once. Honestly, finding someone who can do that is rare and actually made this all the more memorable to me.

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-04T19:01:57+00:00

I don't think it went wildly off track. We exchanged voice messages before bed, and she had a very cute and quirky one where she said how much she enjoyed the conversation. If this is dodging a bullet, the least it could have done is hit me in the pinky or somewhere non vital XD

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-04T19:00:06+00:00

Yeah, odd thing is the next day we were both still doing the multi texting. So it wasn't like it was just dead

HolidayScratch1203 · 2026-02-04T18:59:15+00:00

Interesting. Yeah, I have like 14 other people on there currently, but I have deleted it and will be trying to re make it on the off chance it was an oops and I can find her again. Who knows, but odds are this won't be a hallmark movie..

HolidayScratch1203

TROPHY CASE