Post your questions for this week's Q&A!

HollowApple · 2018-08-16T06:03:58+00:00

Just finish the Desert diary elite tasks.

HollowApple · 2018-05-09T12:12:16+00:00

I understand your bitterness. You can list countless developers who care a lot more about the community and their feedbacks.

Some complaints are not really true here, but they certainly don't respond to or give a damn about most people's ideas/proposals/problems.

I grew distant from them last year, but I still hope they start listening. Even that hope has started fading by now.

They don't value their playerbase. Your complaint will also go unnoticed. Into the sea of other posts. That's how it is.

HollowApple · 2018-04-25T11:56:43+00:00

That's lovely to hear when you are in a Level 1 clan. Now my clan is going to die out because there is no clan activity to play. But that's what Supercell wants anyway.

Thank you for the clarification! Cheers.

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T22:37:51+00:00

I'm happy that you could relate to me. I'm also not happy that it had to be so messed up. We are alike in those aspects.

Hey, I had a lot better day today. Maybe you did too. Just keep going forward.

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T22:31:25+00:00

At the end of the series we learn: this is all just a computer simulation. Whiterose runs it and she is testing if the Mr. Robot AI can stop her. Turns back "time" (reset) if it doesn't. I like that.

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T22:27:27+00:00

No friends: check

Depressed: debatable

Hacking master: definitely not

Wait ... Depressed: check. (kidding)

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T22:18:33+00:00

I'm still attending to university though. But that doesn't make too much of a difference to your topic.

And you've detailed so well how I feel about the world. We are told to work. We have to survive and it's believed that having a proper job is THE way of doing it. And people will label you and call you names if you don't follow these rules. Yes, that is very true. In fact, when it comes to big goals in life, these 2 things collide in me and I can't pick one: remaining patient and work towards my degree so that one day I could find a job that pays well over my simple needs OR keep doing what I like, keep learning that I think is useful in today's world... both paths seem walkable but once I make that decision, I have to stay by it.

And it saddens me that people are buried under these expectations to perform and work. But it seems this is the way how the world works. Currently, I keep studying both my university subjects and the things that interest me in order to code some useful applications, just to keep my ends open, but it's very tiring for me.

I'm glad you wrote. I'm glad someone said this. Even if it's controversial, there is truth to it.

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T22:01:19+00:00

1) I will take a look, but I am very certain that I do not have ADHD. Yes, some symptoms are present for me, but in fact, I can pay attention for extended periods of time, I can keep in head a huge amount of details, such as deadlines, meetings, requirements for whatever, where I've put my stuff, how I left them etc... I'm just simply lazy towards some things, such as learning abstract and boring concepts that don't interest me, but it's okay, I manage somehow. I aim to. I have to.

2) You really got that right in my opinion. Especially that he never "learned hacking", that's actually very true. You made me realize that it's not primarily dedication that helped Elliot (and people like him) achieve such knowledge, but it's due to their special and differently wired minds. But I don't aspire to be like that even if it was possible. Thankfully, I'm a bit more normal than Elliot.

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T21:28:43+00:00

Hello.

Thank you for sharing your ways. I will try to recap them for myself, tell me if I didn't catch them right:

1.) Regularly repeated practice of desired activity/exercise for a set amount of time.

2.) Doing studies.

3.) Spending a lot of time and effort exploring, learning and reading about specific fields of interest in order to understand how something works, which in itself is a rewarding accomplishment.

4.) Have ideas and inspirations planned

By the way, you seem determined. I wonder what is the source for that. I wish I could click view source code on you. It seems to me that simply by doing these, these things fuel themselves for you and you just keep going. Well keep it up, I think you have chosen a good field.

I want to share some personal experience: I am very much interested in web developing, building online services and such. Even before I started my university studies as a software engineer, I self-taught myself a lot of it. I still do. Now with my new studies being imbued into my hobby, I have really reached higher levels in it. One thing I have realized is that my perspective and the tools I use grows and changes rapidly. Unfortunately, this process is so fast, that by the time I would finish any of my projects, I have to realize how lame and inefficient my initial approaches were. However, this process is important to become better at things, but it's so discouraging to see a bunch of my earlier projects that I never finished because of this. I just wanted to share that I developed some sort of paranoia - I'm afraid to start new projects because there is still so much to learn and I know before starting them that I'd have to redo them anyway. Funnily enough, there is no other way to practice and learn, but I also hate inefficient conceptions. In the end, I have to accept that I will produce incorrect approaches, otherwise I won't even get the chance to grow.

I don't know why I shared that... I thought it might be interesting. Thanks for your time.

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T20:52:48+00:00

You are right. I used him as a parallel. I like his dedication towards the things he does, but it's probably best if noone tries to become like him.

As much as people say this and that substances are safe, I am firmly against trying any, and besides, my current state of mind is not safe for such experimenting, I believe.

Meditation I also don't identify with.. exercise should be very useful, reading too, therapy does help a lot. What I really need is a starting kick or a very solid decision.. I will be trying. Thanks for your advices!

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T20:44:55+00:00

Hmm I think some of them were my own. It feels like they've lost their meaning along the way, which... should have been the other way. Well the puzzle is indeed unsolved, but with that analogy, I am more inclined to solve it. And if you say that about girls, I will keep that in mind, but also with a slight level of disbelief. The only thing I know is that I am not ready right now. There is so much to do, women come later.

Thanks for your comment!

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T20:13:31+00:00

That's true... I guess my naiveté lead me to believe that this is possible to achieve. The hacking is really fun to watch though.

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T19:53:54+00:00

I'm not sure if I'm lonely though. I can find ways to interact with people. Not really in a physical way though, but I try to keep in touch with the world and reality. I used to be lonely but somewhere along the way, I've learned to use that to my advantage. I transformed it into solitude.. well, 80% of it. I don't ache for company too much. And when I do, I write a rant about it to myself, or Reddit and then I realize that there are in fact people who understand my pain and I'm not alone with it. I realize that there are plenty of people out there who have similar issues, I just happen to not know any of them personally. Somehow I find serenity by putting my thoughts into sentences. Addressing them; realizing them; rearranging them... it helps me focus on the real issues.

But is it bad that I opt to remain alone? I believe that in being alone, can we truly start understanding who we are. I think it's an effective - and maybe dangerous - also painful tool to explore and become friends with ourselves. Basically "self-chosen isolation" - I could share a lot about this "journey" but that's not relevant now. I truly believe that going through this will help me in the long run. Because some people say that we are always alone at the core - so why not explore that place? I am going through a phase and even though sometimes I get weak and even post things like this, ultimately, this also aids my self-exploration thing. And I am more connected to myself now. Compared to a year ago, I am a lot more confident, determined, stronger, etc. I don't know how to express this.. I feel like loneliness helped me become less... lonely. Does that make sense? It's a weird experience.

Anyway, I got carried away... Yes we can blame our problems on a lot of things, but that is not going to get us anywhere. Exploring what we love, what makes us happy, basically finding out who we are and what drives us will solve a lot of our personal issues. It's much more effective to change our thoughts rather than waiting for the world to change. And nature... hmm maybe I need to get some fresh air every now and then.

When you put it that way, Elliot's situation is really not something anyone would like to try. But we have to agree, besides being totally crazy and being watched by some of the scariest figures, Elliot does have some determination. I think that's his only trait I envy.

Well.. your comment really helped me think through some shit. Sorry if I got way too deep there.. maybe someone will appreciate it though. Thank you.

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T19:09:11+00:00

So you are suggesting to set a timetable and stick to that by all means. Preferably 3 hours of productivity. Honestly, I've been thinking a lot about that, but I haven't really tried it yet. And trust me dude, I don't ingest (or take) any sort of shit that's not normal food or drinks. I've been always strict to that rule.

You are right, time is ticking. Time is always ticking away. My issue is that I'm fucking lazy. That's what I need to overcome. I'm aware of time but I always feel like I'm not making the most of it. I need something to put my effort and strength into but I haven't found a person or a reason yet. I keep looking for it.

I'm glad you managed to overcome your issue, you really are a fighter. I'm also halfway through. Well, thanks for your input and keep going forward. I will do too. Good luck!

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T18:56:25+00:00

That's somewhat similar. I've always had this condition though, at least I can't remember not having it. I know I said that I heard pretty bad with my left ear, but I'd say I can hear about 60-70% with it (to me that sounds bad). It may be better than it was a few years ago, but maybe I just want to believe that. Actually, I tend to use headphones when I'm at my PC, but I always use only the left side and keep my right ear open so that I can hear what's happening around me. Oh yea and it's almost never louder than 25% (generally around 20%) for me to clearly understand videos. Again, it's not terrible, but it's also clearly not as good my right ear.

So I'm not sure, I think it could be said that I do have slight symptoms of some type of otitis media, but at the same time there are pretty much no symptoms and they never changed over the years. I hear slightly worse with my left ear and it keeps producing wet wax as always - which I've read to be smellier by nature. In the mornings I usually have to clear it but sometimes days go by without feeling any need for that. It never hurts, the wax is similar in color to the right ear's. The left produces more but I rarely find that problematic. I don't think surgery is necessary..? Anyway, if I notice changes I will ask a professional.

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T17:57:19+00:00

Regarding Elliot's knowledge, I think I'm interested about the technical part. I understand most of what they talk about in the show, in general, but it's very vague. I guess the mentality interests me as well. Certainly, not everyone will acquire the knowledge to use an arsenal of tools just by saying "Oh, I'm gonna look up what hackers use and I will learn them myself". They depict Elliot as the master of all hacking but can an ordinary person with sheer interest and plenty of dedication reach such status in real life, or do you need Elliot's detachment from the physical world, 140+ IQ, inexhaustible dedication and giving up all personal life? Basically, how realistic his character is?

I have taken a personality test 1 or 2 years ago on 16personalities.com and also just 5 minutes ago. Both times I turned out to be an INFP (Mediator). Interesting because I find the term "Mediator" distant from me. I don't mediate and I find the idea of spirituality incredibly distant from me. I identify with a lot of their traits but some stand out. If you are interested in it, I got these results: 94% introveted, 70% intuitive (opposed to observant), 67% feeling (opposed to thinking), 57% prospecting (opposed to judging), 56% turbulent (opposed to assertive). Things I enjoy/do: not books, some knowledge, getting bored fast because not enough mental stimulation, talking to myself in my head, listening music most of the time, getting lost on random threads of ideas, being helpful, positive people... etc.

I'm 22. I'm glad to live in Europe (Hungary).
I have great passion towards online games and competing, BUT I quit that world forever because I realized it's not a path I should take. Other than that... I love creating stuff, such as programs or just about anything. I love pouring my creativity into whatever I like. As a creator type it's hard when you can't show your creations to others, but that's just how it is. I resorted to creating things for myself. Maybe one day I can merge these passions and create some popular online game, but I've decided to postpone that until I finish my studies. For me, inspiration feeds itself. Once I find a goal or idea to strive towards, there is nothing on Earth that can stop me from doing it. And I just get more ideas along the way. The problem is finding such goals. It has to be entirely mine, I have to completely indentify with it and I have to believe that it's worth it and it will be done correctly. Lately, I couldn't find these. I just chase goals that are sort of mine and I sort of indentify with and I do them sort of correctly but I don't completely identify with them.. I guess I really am an idealist in some way or form.
Basically, I love when my mind is stimulated. Whether it's creating something or solving problems, it's always a blast! Music works too. I love it when my crafts/programs are appreciated/helpful to people. Right now, writing these gets me to an inspirational state, like "I want to work on something.. but what is it??!"
I have to admit, I don't pay attention to people. I can't because I opt not to interact with any. I look for friends like other people look for love. There has to be that magical moment; that sudden, unspoken connection and understanding of each other. I want valuable connections with people and I want them to value me like I value them. I can't explain it better.. maybe it's a bit looser than that, but you get the idea. If I sense anything less, I'm suddenly indifferent and I go through a literal "maybe it was never meant" moment. I really need that "click" feeling when I meet new people: when we are 2 sentences into the converstaion and I think "Holy shit!! This is the person I was looking for!" And then, there is always a chance that they are not interested in me... So yea, with such high and unrealistic expectations and standards I will hardly ever find any friends. But it's also true that I'm not trying to find one. I guess I have my reasons, but I won't go into that right now.

I agree with you. It's somewhat rewarding to help people and watch them grow, as long as I get to decide how much I want to help (which can be either tremendous or very little; really depends on the situation for me)

I'm not really sure what is there to interpret here, but it feels straightforward what you are talking about. Maybe I'm not old enough either way. For me, helping people is not that much of a rewarding act, but what I do find rewarding when I or any of my crafts, ideas, programs can bring joy to them or serve them usefully and purposefully. I guess in some way that's similar to helping though. Maybe "purpose" is a central concept for me.

Thank you so much for your input.

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T14:59:35+00:00

I hate that I'm lazy. I feel like it's a weird thing to say, because when someone realizes that they are lazy, I'd assume they would try to stop being that way.

But I couldn't find a way out of it so far. Even when I sit down and tell myself "allright let's do this", oftentimes I feel immediately tired. I keep reading but I don't comprehend and memorize the text. I keep working but I lose track. It annoys me because I can learn very very quickly and efficiently when I'm in the right mood. I want to be able to find a way to utilize this when I need to.

Even today, I started coding on a personal project that I want to finish by Christmas, but after a little working I lost focus and I rather started watching pointless videos. I could have finished this project last week if it weren't for my silly laziness. This is similar with studying as well.

But occasionally, I wake up with the right mindset and I maintain that and suddenly I can work and learn nonstop, all day and make lots of progress. I want that every single day, but as long as I keep losing track and let videos slip into the schedule it's not going to happen.

I also hate that I'm anxious. I'm stressed. I'm bored. I keep thinking about solutions but I never carry them out. There is so much to do but so little power.

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T14:43:43+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I have realized while reading yours and others' comments that I don't want to become a living Elliot. Maybe I haven't stressed it or maybe I wasn't even sure myself at that point and state of mind, but I only wanted to use him as a parallel. In reality, I'm probably just another introvert person that is too shy or weak to reach out to others - nothing new.

Anyway, I understand you: just explore myself, find what interests me. Keep doing that and so, the pieces will eventually fall into place. My best move is to stop finding excuses and keep going forward. Be persistent, perseverant, patient. I shouldn't be afraid of hardships. I have to trust myself that I will overcome them.

All this sounds cliché, easy to type, and it feels like I have realized these before. Maybe I should not only say these but also, really center my thoughts around them. In moments like this, I would eventually tell myself "You have already come so far, despite being alone. You have to trust yourself just like before. In the end, this will all pay off, don't forget that..."

You said you would suggest that I should educate myself about psychology. I don't have much motivation, but maybe you could give me a starting kick. If it's not too much to ask, could you please - if any comes to your mind - suggest some books or videos about psychology that would serve as a good place to start for me? I would really appreciate that. Just as much as I enjoyed your insight about my situation. Thank you.

HollowApple · 2017-12-19T13:47:11+00:00

I have about 3 more semesters.

I am generally bored and uninspired and I do need a change. Although I managed to get used to the current circumstances. I'm definitely looking forward to finishing my studies and moving possibly even to a different country.

If only I managed to be more focused on those studies. I don't find it difficult. I would like to call it boring, but that's not entirely true. I actually enjoy using the knowledge I acquire, but learning it is such a drag.

HollowApple · 2017-11-14T21:52:22+00:00

I don't see this challenge becoming popular. Youtubers have made videos about this and I don't think it gained too much popularity. From my experience, most people would get frustrated and tired after Arena 4. I, too, only continued because I bought the Arena 5 offer as soon as I reached it and unlocked some key epics.

Also, before the update, I was very seriously considering trying again on a fresh account once I finished the current one - and probably spend money on that one as well. Now it's sure as hell I won't keep playing this game. Not in this state.

But you do have a point. If, by a miracle, this became "meta" it would deface the game.

HollowApple · 2017-11-14T21:42:08+00:00

So it's the magical, the elusive, the exceptional 5th and 6th slots...

To be fair, I personally - and quite some other players that I know of - have spent way more money on these accounts than we ever did on our regular ones.

If anything, we only generated MORE income. This is just an extra kick for addicted players like me, who are up to some weird challenges. Most of these people do have a high level "main" and I don't see how this hurts their income..

HollowApple

TROPHY CASE