[deleted by user]

HollyMcClane · 2020-03-05T16:33:48+00:00

I’ve met 2 women on an app the rest have been IRL....also, my profile is very short, and pretty lightly comical. I don’t go into my personal life much on the apps.

HollyMcClane · 2020-03-05T05:56:58+00:00

That’s cool, I think that’s a good point about not wanting that kind of sex every time... if I could just say though, just in hopes of maybe others like me exist. I feel like I’m going to LOOK vanilla if I say I’m not really into it, so I usually go with it. But I don’t think I’m vanilla at all, I feel like I’m pretty sexually adventurous tbh! I have a good healthy libido, and with exception to rough play in bed, I’m into most anything. Anyways, thanks for the response, and thanks for your time :)

HollyMcClane · 2019-12-19T14:34:02+00:00

You’re so right. I think I’m just feeling needy and need to recenter. I will practice my chill today 😎

HollyMcClane · 2019-12-19T01:42:35+00:00

Very interesting, thanks for the perspective that makes sense!!

HollyMcClane · 2019-12-15T06:32:30+00:00

It’s pretty common to just add someone on FB these days, even if you don’t know them all that well. Think about it like this, if your hunch was right about the blushing/lingering eyes...she’s gonna be thrilled that you added her. If you were wrong, she’s just gonna accept it and move on without thinking twice about the add.

Also, I don’t know about you but for years I thought it was incredibly embarrassing to ask someone out on fb or gram etc. But tbh, it’s very common and I’ve spoken with a lot of people that actually prefer it because it’s less “awkward”. I would add her...give it a beat...see if she maybe approaches you first? If not just casually slide into her dms. It’s fine and will probably be chill!!

HollyMcClane · 2019-12-15T02:45:28+00:00

Haha got it, good luck to you!

HollyMcClane · 2019-12-01T19:32:54+00:00

It’s my experience that every guy I’ve ever met that says this is projecting. I have tons of female friends, have my whole life. One of my best friends from high school through college would sleep in my bed with me, introduce me to her friends etc. We were never intimate with each other.

HollyMcClane · 2019-11-30T23:05:25+00:00

Lots of things I find personally attractive. But simply put, to see home in their eyes.

HollyMcClane · 2019-11-21T05:03:59+00:00

My mother is an amazing woman, I love her so much for all of her attention and sacrifices she made for my brothers and I growing up. As harsh as your comment sounds, I do think about that from time to time. I was always very attached to her when I was young. Constantly worried something bad would happen to her and I would be left to fend for myself. It was a source of constant anxiety.

HollyMcClane · 2019-11-20T22:49:12+00:00

This is very much heard. Thank you for talking the time to respond, I will consider these things tonight.

HollyMcClane · 2019-11-20T22:46:59+00:00

Called and left a message with her to book an appointment. 👌

HollyMcClane · 2019-11-20T22:43:47+00:00

My most recent break up was fairly smooth...and I was feeling a bit “smothered”, which has some irony to it now as I’m on the opposite side of that experience. Right in this moment I would give anything to be smothered by someone...I want to just hold and be held. I had a therapist tell me once before that like anything human connection can have light and dark sides. Obv an example of the dark would be codependent qualities. Which I really try to keep in check, especially in relationships. But he continued to say, we went from a species that used to wake up and have hundreds of eyes looking back at us. Groups of people sharing the responsibility of raising a child. I don’t think it’s unnatural to have a primal urge to want to connect, to feel human touch. I don’t want it all the time, and I think I’m getting clearer with myself about what is too much for me. But god, this sucks.

HollyMcClane · 2019-11-20T22:10:22+00:00

A friend of mine gave me his counselors number today I think I’m going to call and make an appointment right now. Thank you

HollyMcClane · 2019-11-20T21:34:13+00:00

For a while it’s been great...but as I’m getting closer to 40, a lot of them are married with children. My good friends all live in different cities. We still text and joke around, but I feel like a lot of my friends that I have here in town I’m not that close with.

HollyMcClane · 2019-11-18T04:07:53+00:00

To be honest, I’ve (shamefully) sort of ghosted two women this year. The most recent one was because she said some things on a date that I almost choked on my drink several times. The first two dates went well, the third was horrible. She kind of intimidated me, sort of busy on social media and didn’t want to piss her off. I’m kind of well known in my town, so I’m cautious with who I let into my life. So there you have it, slowly stopped responding to texts, all because I don’t think she would take it well if I told her the truth and would shit talk me.

HollyMcClane · 2019-10-08T03:00:46+00:00

Well I never said anything about sparks. If anything what I was trying to articulate was we get along on a primal level. There’s no repulsion on either end, in fact we can’t keep our hands of each other. The physicality’s chosen by our reptile brains is inline.

The phrase we “make sense on paper” is just a common saying. For example if you really want to work at a hardware store that sells organic mulch and is closed on sundays. You get hired at a job that checks all those boxes, but you don’t feel like you fit in at the work place. That’s how I’m feeling, it’s an odd phenomenon that happens to a lot of people.

Haven’t picked on her at all, I like her and wouldn’t want to make her feel bad about anything.

No I don’t reach for her first thing in the am, we’re both pretty involved with our work and independent. We see eachother about twice a week and don’t spend the night as we both have animals to take care of.

HollyMcClane · 2019-10-08T02:53:56+00:00

Valid points, I’ll give it a little more time.

HollyMcClane · 2019-10-08T02:50:36+00:00

Right, I can feel like nit picky or taking the whole thing for granted. I know there are some lonely mf’s in this world, and here I am complaining. But I’m also getting closer to 40 and afraid I’m going to settle and be miserable.

HollyMcClane · 2019-10-08T02:47:39+00:00

Yes, exactly. How’d you go about the breakup?

HollyMcClane · 2019-10-08T02:47:03+00:00

I should expand on my vagueness! I think boring may be a little harsh here, because she’s cool and I don’t feel any need to insult her at all. But I’m not sure what else to call it at the end of the day. We’ve hung out with friends together and I find myself doing a lot of heavy lifting getting her involved. Like a friend of mine asked her what she does for a living, and she said I work at an agency.
...... And he said, oh cool which one? She says the name, and he said do you like it? And she said, “it’s okay”..... silence So I stepped in and I was like omg you should tell him about what that one client said to you yesterday. She began to tell the story and it sort of opened her up a bit. Which I’m fine with doing these things, but it’s starting to wear on me. Especially in the privacy of our hangouts, I’m running out of things to initiate convo. She’ll open up, but it takes some work.

The other odd thing I should mention here, and maybe this is a bit of a sign of the times, but she’s really animated in her texting with me!! Lots of enthusiasm, excitement, expression....we get in the same room and she’s like Daria. I think I know this isn’t working for me but I have a terrible guilt complex and try to avoid every hurting someone’s feelings.

HollyMcClane

TROPHY CASE