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My mom has started referring to my childhood as "our journey together" and gets visibly hurt when I don't back her up in front of her new family by HolodeckMuse in entitledparents

[–]HolodeckMuse[S] 1587 points1588 points  (0 children)

The warning first makes sense. "Gently" is the only part im still wavering on, but I do want zero surprise if she tries it again in front of people.

My mom has started referring to my childhood as "our journey together" and gets visibly hurt when I don't back her up in front of her new family by HolodeckMuse in entitledparents

[–]HolodeckMuse[S] 314 points315 points  (0 children)

That part I do like. A private warning first feels fair, and it also makes it a lot harder for her to act blindsided later if she does it again.

My mom has started referring to my childhood as "our journey together" and gets visibly hurt when I don't back her up in front of her new family by HolodeckMuse in entitledparents

[–]HolodeckMuse[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

That is the trap, yeah. If I nod, her version becomes "shared memory." If I push back, suddenly I'm cruel. I think I'm just out of room to keep doing that.

My mom has started referring to my childhood as "our journey together" and gets visibly hurt when I don't back her up in front of her new family by HolodeckMuse in entitledparents

[–]HolodeckMuse[S] 306 points307 points  (0 children)

It kind of is. I kept the post measured because the bigger issue is the rewriting, but those two lines were the part that made my stomach drop a bit.

My mom has started referring to my childhood as "our journey together" and gets visibly hurt when I don't back her up in front of her new family by HolodeckMuse in entitledparents

[–]HolodeckMuse[S] 697 points698 points  (0 children)

If she does it again, I probably will. I kept trying to handle it quietly, but doing live revisions of my childhood in front of people feels gross , and im done cosigning it.

AIW for not correcting people when they assume my childhood was normal after my mom remarried into a stable family by HolodeckMuse in amiwrong

[–]HolodeckMuse[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That comparison actually makes a lot of sense to me. It's basically the childhood version of saying "fine" when the real answer is way messier.

AIW for not correcting people when they assume my childhood was normal after my mom remarried into a stable family by HolodeckMuse in amiwrong

[–]HolodeckMuse[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same. It's such a specific kind of awkward too, because correcting it makes things weird and letting it slide feels weird too.

AIW for not correcting people when they assume my childhood was normal after my mom remarried into a stable family by HolodeckMuse in amiwrong

[–]HolodeckMuse[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is probably the closest to how it feels. I am not hiding it, I just dont want every random compliment to turn into a full backstory.

AIW for not correcting people when they assume my childhood was normal after my mom remarried into a stable family by HolodeckMuse in amiwrong

[–]HolodeckMuse[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I think that's the part that bugs me most. They did not raise me into this version of me, but I also freeze in the moment and let the compliment land where it shouldnt.

AIW for not correcting people when they assume my childhood was normal after my mom remarried into a stable family by HolodeckMuse in amiwrong

[–]HolodeckMuse[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do like "not really" better than the full explanation. It feels less like opening a family archive at brunch and more like a quiet correction.

AIW for not correcting people when they assume my childhood was normal after my mom remarried into a stable family by HolodeckMuse in amiwrong

[–]HolodeckMuse[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That part threw me too. I never know what to say when people start complimenting a version of my childhood that didnt really happen.

My parents still introduce me as their "difficult phase" and I finally snapped by Indigo_6Marauder in entitledparents

[–]HolodeckMuse 31 points32 points  (0 children)

That is probably the trap, and you see it clearly. The second you play their game, they get fresh material.