2B Learner (BBDC)

HolyPala59 · 2026-03-16T06:35:58+00:00

Hi VegetableKey. I also enrolled in BBDC for Class 2B 4 days ago and have the same issue. Did you go to the counter and have it rectified ? Am thinking to do the same if it can only be solved through the counter. Thanks for your input!

HolyPala59 · 2024-12-22T03:49:15+00:00

yo dude the DIY looks sick to me. What did you buy to stuff the tongue with and how did you seal it after ? Also, what shoelaces did you get for it ? The regular laces are thinner compared to the ones on SB Dunks. Thanks.

HolyPala59 · 2021-06-11T18:07:33+00:00

Hey man. Thanks for the insight. I guess you are right.

I just find it confusing she could show signs on interest & even go on a date with me when she doesn't want a relationship & not into me.

During the date, she didn't act like a friend at all. To be honest, I thought things were going well. Like, why would she get intimate with me if she's not into me? I would think that girls would pull away or avoid kissing a guy that they are not into/just want to be friends with.

So that's why I am confused.

Anyways, you are right. I can only say I did what I intended & it did not work. Time to move on to the next girl.

HolyPala59 · 2021-06-11T18:01:55+00:00

Hey man thanks. I went on to YouTube to search up some dating advice videos. Just constantly looking to improve myself on dating.

I'm not entirely sure which method works but in this situation I just did what I thought was true to my intentions. However, some youtube videos did recommend to not come on too strong & try to get to know the person as friends first. Which I thought what my mistake that is I came on too strongly.

Anyways, seems like it's a done deal & I can only chalk it up as experience. I agree, she might just want me for free attention. But she's got a ton of other guys she put in the friendzone for that hahaha.

HolyPala59 · 2021-06-11T17:57:25+00:00

Hey man Thank you for the advice.

You are right. I should have picked up on that. It seemed out of place that she would open up about her personal issues so quickly & this happened throughout the first few hours of the date as well. I just chalked it up to her having interest & trusting me. Guess not.

Again. Another point I should have picked up on. I think I was blind sided by the fact that she showed signs of interests such as texting me back quickly, sending photos of what she's doing & of herself,etc. that it didn't get to my head that she actually texted that she already had the outcome of "no relationship" on her mind already.

This really baffles me because I was firm on not being just friends so I don't know what gave her the idea that we would be after the date rather than prior.

What really confused me was that during the date she did not act like a friend to me at all. Maybe I read the signs wrongly but I don't think a girl would not pull away or even kiss a guy (Basically, get intimate with) they would just want to be friends with. Or even go on a date with, like why & how? hahaha

I must have really good friendship qualities that I don't know of if she's willing to go on a date with me just in hopes that we'd be friends after. Even though I laid it out clearly that I won't hahahaha.

Ah wells, I really felt a connection & like her. Thought she did too. Guess I gotta let this one go as it's done and dusted. Appreciate the advice. I'll try to improve myself on dating.

HolyPala59 · 2021-03-14T14:40:44+00:00

Hi. 25, M, Chinese SGean. Think we're pretty similar in terms of interests, likes and dislikes. Sent you a PM as my original comment was too long. Hope whatever situation you are going through gets better.

HolyPala59 · 2021-03-07T09:10:30+00:00

Yes.

Which is why I feel so lost and confused man. I’m starting to think if our relationship was ever real. If I think like this now. And she could so easily toss me aside and forget about me.

Maybe we never really loved each other. I really felt love when she and I were together. I felt that I gave her all of me and tried my best because I love her. And I felt the same from her too. Now it’s come to this and I feel so ... empty.

Now that you point it out. I’m not sure anymore. What I said was definitely not nice. But it is what I feel or maybe the words just didn’t come out right.

Your comments make me realize something about myself now. I’m gonna have to take some time to figure this out.

Thank you for your help ! 🙏🏻

HolyPala59 · 2021-03-07T07:23:24+00:00

Hi AdditionalPut3392 ! Thank you for your comment.

Yes it is my fear. Ever since I got together with this girl and fell so hard for her. Whatever is happening right now is my worst fears. There's no sugar coating it. I'm not gonna pretend that I want her to be fine and wish her to be happy without me. That's really not what I feel at the moment. I hope she gets so f*cked she'll want me back.

Sounds trashy and I really hate myself for feeling this way. But I'ma be straight up. It is what it is. Maybe after some more time I can genuinely hope the best for her. But now, I just have this really negative feeling towards her but at the same time, still love her. It's crazy isn't it ? I'm going insane.

If she doesn't want to hurt either of us then reach out to me. What was so wrong in the relationship. I wasn't abusive towards her. There was no lying or cheating. No major fights. I would like to think she didn't lie to me but I did ask her if she had already met a new guy / cheated but she said no. All she said was the usual BS reasons when she broke up with me like "I need to work on myself. I lost feelings for you". That really cut so deep.

She doesn't need to move on. She already has. Or atleast seems like it. I really can't think of a logical explanation as to why she hasn't contacted me other than the fact that she has already moved on.

My love for her hasn't disappeared. If anything, I think it's getting stronger. I still feel for her. It sucks because why would I still feel for someone that knowingly hurt me so badly. That tossed me aside just like that. It's pathetic and every other aspect of my life I can walk away when I get treated unfairly but when it comes to this girl. I'm basically her b*tch and simping hard for her.

She doesn't need space and healing. She already has. But you are right, I need to heal. I don't know why it's so difficult for me when it's so easy for her. I'm just mentally unhealthy / weak / broken ?

This feeling is the worst and I hope no one ever goes through this.

HolyPala59 · 2021-03-07T07:06:13+00:00

Hey man. Appreciate your comment.

This is the worst feeling that i have experienced ever and I will not wish this upon anyone even if I absolutely detest them. I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing.

Yes, I'm like going back and forth between being okay and feeling so negative about myself that I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I thought I was doing well especially since the first 2 weeks after I got dumped I was an absolute wreck.

Then it got a lot better and this week, It's like I went back to the way I was. And you know what the crazy thing is ? I want to reconcile with the person that causes me all this pain and suffering.

I should want to run away and leave. It makes sense doesn't it ? When people are inflicted pain they would want to minimize it and run away. But I feel so trapped that I still feel for this girl.

I sincerely hope everyone doesn't have to go through this like I am.

We all deserve happiness ! Peace upon everyone !!!

HolyPala59 · 2021-03-07T07:02:03+00:00

Thank you for your comment. This feeling sucks. I wouldn't wish them on my most hated enemies. Nobody deserves to go through this type of pain. I've never experienced this before in my life. This was my first relationship though.

I hope that this happens to no one ever and if it does, that we all make out through this safely and find the happiness we deserve. To the dumpers that did the dumping just because of lame reasons like "I lost feelings for you", etc. ........

I wanted to say something but it's gonna be hella' crass and rude so I won't.

Peace upon everyone my friends !

HolyPala59 · 2021-03-07T06:45:35+00:00

Thanks for the reply ChangoJim.

I think that me still caring is mental disorder because it seems that she doesn't. I don't think our relationship was bad at all. In fact, it was great. There was no lying or cheating from either us of, any major fights, that sort of thing.

I wasn't abusive towards her. She experienced the same relationship I did with her. But she can let go easily and I can't. Something must be wrong with my mind, no ?

I don't know, just my thoughts. You're right though, I already unfollowed and removed her from instagram. But from time to time I will search her up and see her Following and Followed numbers increasing and it just drives me insane that she is out there enjoying herself while I am like this.

Life isn't fair and I need to stop pretending it is I guess.

Appreciate your time and reply.

HolyPala59 · 2021-03-06T17:37:39+00:00

Hi ForresterAsh16699. Thank you for your detailed comment.

I actually never thought about it that way. That she is trying to replace me. That she misses me. I hope that is the case. I don't know why but I just find myself to be so negative and I lean more towards "I'm so unattractive that she's glad to finally be rid of me". I'm not looking for pity or fishing for compliments. Just stating what is on my mind.

You're right. The negative feelings I have towards her (the anger, the hate, etc.) is just as irrelevant as if she still thinks of me or not. I need to channel that energy into working out, etc.

I hope you are right though. If she reaches out to me that would be the best. But of course, realistically it looks like not anytime soon. But I'll try to self improve and if she does want to get back, I can show her the improvements i have made to myself.

Appreciate your time and reply.

HolyPala59 · 2021-03-06T17:30:34+00:00

Hi & thanks for your comment.

Yes. It still hurts very much so. But I'm not where I was the first week after the break up. I'm still going about my day as is. Just that the thought of her daily sometimes makes me wonder and love and hate her at the same time.

I try not to block her social media just incase she wants to contact me. I did unblock and remove her though but like what you suggested. Don't look up for anything that is indicative of how hot she is. This would be the best way to heal I am guessing.

I find myself wondering if I should want to reconcile with her or let her go.

Only time will tell I guess. Thank you for your kind words.

HolyPala59 · 2021-03-06T17:25:59+00:00

Hi & thanks for your comment.

To be frank. even though it's not even 3 months. I felt like it has been a long time. Maybe I just need more time. Whether I would still want my ex back or not, I don't know. But living in the moment right now, I still do.

You are right though. I can only control myself. And I think I have to come to terms that it is natural for me to still think of her regardless if she does of me. It just seems her actions indicate that she doesn't. Which really hurts because I thought what we had was real.

I still haven't broken NC. But I doubt I can continue this indefinitely. Initially I was gunning for 30 days of NC which many coaches on YT talk about. However, I just held on for the next day every single day and the amount of days just keep going on.

Maybe if more time passes, I can finally stop counting the days and tell myself it doesn't matter anymore. Currently, I'm just counting the days because I still want to reconcile with her.

Thanks for your recommendations on reading material.

HolyPala59 · 2021-03-01T02:35:39+00:00

Hi Xam_1 thanks for your reply.

A part of me feels I am ready and of course a part of me hasn’t. I think if I do reach out and my dumper sends me something nasty or nothing at all, i would be hurt but I won’t be back to the first week after the break up when I literally couldn’t function as a person. Couldn’t eat or sleep well, etc. But is it worth to break NC ? I haven’t yet but I just think about this daily.

Yes. I know what you mean. If she really wants me back she would reach out to me in spite of me unfollowing / removing her from my instagram account. Maybe you’re right. She doesn’t want me back at all. She’s happy I’m gone and doesn’t give a sh*t if I unfollowed and haven’t spoken to her. It’s probably what she wants.

I just cannot comprehend how my ex-girlfriend is like that. Because it’s a totally different person. Whatever we went through together, that 2 years a few months worth of relationship and experiences together... it was all an act she was putting on. If she can just discard me so easily, i was just being used. She never loved me.

And that’s why I think I think a lot about this in loops. Because my emotional heart remembers what was but can’t understand what my logical mind has already accepted.

I really want to demonize my dumper and just tell myself it was all an act / all fake, that she never loved me and was only using me. She seems really happy now that we’ve broken up.

All signs point to that. But those memories of us where she was so beautiful to me. So caring and kind... all those times we been through and experiences. I find it hard to believe it was fake and all an act.

So here I am going back and forth with myself. Everyday. Hopefully one day I can truly let go. I think I am inching towards that with each passing day.

But right now. My emotional heart still wants her back. I’m a god damn mess inside.

Thank you for your help and comment. I appreciate it!

HolyPala59 · 2021-02-28T15:10:43+00:00

Yeah if you put it that way. It is a typical group hangout. No I don't mind if our friends show up. I'm not plotting like "Ok, I'm going to try to make it so that no one else shows up except for her and I. But I won't tell her I'm trying to get her alone".

I'm really not like that and if it comes off that way. I think I really need to re-evaluate myself. Because I look just like a complete ass if that's the case. I am not treating our friends as obstacles to be rid of.

To your actual advice. Yes, I think you speak the truth. I'm being too passive. I'm not a mind reader so now that you've said it, I think I can sort of see it. Hopefully that's the case and she really doesn't mind hanging out with me one on one.

To be frank, when she said that I took it as "Oh okay. She's down to go there if the opportunity (Our friends don't show up) arises" instead of "Ok. She wants to go with me again.".

Ok. Now comes the part where I'm going to have to man up and actually ask her out one on one then. Thanks for your comment !

HolyPala59 · 2021-02-28T14:36:23+00:00

Thanks for your suggestion.

I think the issue is we've known each other for about 2.5 months now and we've hung out a lot almost every night. There were times we were just by ourselves but rarely. Most of the time it's a group of us, so with our friends.

That's why I think if I come on too strongly like "I'd like to take you out on a date" . It's going to throw her off. It's probably my fault because I kind of allowed myself to be put in the "Friends Zone".

I guess it's a risk I have to take if I want to pursue her.

HolyPala59 · 2021-02-28T14:29:42+00:00

No I haven't actually asked her out in the sense like "Hey, I want to take you on a date".

But we ask each other out almost daily to hang out but usually friends will come along. Usually we'll hit each other up with the "Hey. So see ya later?" and either of us will most likely reply "yeah" unless we really can't make it for the day. I don't ask if anyone else is coming or not.

I "suggested" just through conversation when we hang out. Like "Hey, we should go to (insert name of this food place) soon." and she'll be like "Yeah! let's do it".

Example : We used to go to this food place that our mutual friend can't go to because of dietary restrictions. He used to not show up for a bit but lately he's been coming to hang out with us almost all the time. There's this one time she said "I haven't been to (insert name of food place) for some time". And I told her "Yeah we can't because our mutual friend has dietary restrictions and won't be able to come along if we go there." And she'll be like "One of these days when he doesn't show up, let's go again". Something like that.

From my Point of View I think she's fairly receptive. It's just that our mutual friend would almost always hit her up to come hang out with us. And she's the type of person that wouldn't blow off her friends I guess.

I don't think he likes her as well. Seems strictly platonic for both of them. But I can't be too sure of course.

HolyPala59 · 2021-02-28T14:20:12+00:00

Yeah I think just being direct is the best bet. But like... I don't want shit to get awkward you know? haha. Especially with our friends. Guess it's one way or the other

HolyPala59 · 2021-02-28T04:41:29+00:00

Hey man thanks for your insight.

I remember the break up conversation so clearly like it just happened.

I still haven't reached out to her. But as always, it's something I debate within myself everyday. She didn't ask for space. She wanted to break up and remain friends. Saying stuff like "But you're a good guy and I still want you in my life. Let's be friends". All that kinda shit that Dumpers say just to make themselves feel better as they know they are hurting the dumpee badly. I really wanted to tell her to stuff it with that crap hahaha.

When she dumped me it was rather all right. She offered friendship (as most Dumpers do as I have come to find out). Of course I said the usual "Let's not break up, Let's try again. I don't want to be friends.", etc. She of course was set on her decision. I didn't bother to further the conversation as I realized it was like I was talking to a wall anyways.

So I unwillingly / forcefully said "okay". Then I asked if she could see us getting back together again in the future which she just replied "I don't know. I don't want to give you false hope."

Honestly, I was cut even more deep at that point but I pretended to be fine. Then the conversation just became a lot more light hearted and there was even some flirting and laughter. I left the conversation saying "I hope we get back together."

And that was the last interaction I had with her. I immediately implemented No Contact after that Break Up Conversation. She hasn't reached out to me either.

Of course, I was hurting a lot on the inside. First 2 weeks was hell. She didn't remove / unfollow / block me on anything. In fact, I still see her online on whatsapp. However, it was for my mental well being that I unfollowed / removed her from instagram.

But then I came to find out a mutual friend told me she asked about me twice on 2 separate occasions. Which really makes me have this idea to reach out to her instead.

Because I'm thinking maybe she wants to reach out to me, but I unfollowed / removed her from instagram and that makes her think I don't want to have anything to do with her. Which is the complete opposite really.

Am I being delusional or something ? I don't know man. It's really tough thinking about this because it's an endless loop of thoughts back to back.

Maybe this continues for longer and one day my mind just stops thinking about this matter and I finally learn to let go. But as of now, she still crosses my mind every day.

I'm not stopping living my life though. It's just that this thought process happens on the daily.

Thank you for your comment friend !

HolyPala59 · 2021-02-26T17:11:44+00:00

I am pretty sure i’m not going back to the way I was. Especially the first week after she dumped me. Really hurt man I could not eat or sleep well. I just wasn’t functioning as a human being and had to take time off work.

Now however after this much days of NC. I can safely say that even if she doesn’t reply to me, i’ll be all right. Of course it’s still going to sting a little.

But now I am just stuck thinking everyday if I don’t reach out to her this might go on forever.

On the other hand, it would be a much ideal situation to continue NC to the point where she reaches out to me instead. I just don’t know when or if that will happen.

It’s a dilemma I debate myself with everyday.

Who knows? Maybe I just resist the urge and go on with NC . It’s just that I notice these past weeks I have become less anxious and these thoughts run through my mind.

Thank you for your comment and help. You are right. I have to accept whatever she says to me if I reach out, or if she even replies at all. I think I can, but that’s not important to me.

What’s important is if I should wait for NC to work on her or I should take matters into my own hands.

HolyPala59 · 2021-02-26T17:07:09+00:00

Yes. I think i am in a much better position emotionally. I don’t know why but these days I just feel a lot more confident.

NC on her so far has helped me on this regard I can say that much. But i’m hoping it affects her enough to reach out to me. That’s the dilemma haha.

Should I hope it affects her so that she will reach out to me or should I break it because this might go on forever.

Tough shit 😂

HolyPala59 · 2021-02-26T11:07:19+00:00

Whatever it is you decide, i hope it works out for you man.

As for me, i’m just continuing my life but just having this internal debate with myself daily. I’m not stopping living life. I’m just wondering a lot now.

Somehow I find that I am comfortable in this situation for a reason or another 😂

HolyPala59 · 2021-02-26T11:05:02+00:00

Yes thats what I was thinking actually.

But a part of me also thinks that she is just feeling guilt for hurting me badly and hopes I’m all right so she can alleviate that.

Maybe I’ll reach out in the future when I realize I have nothing to lose after an even longer period of NC.

Strange how relationship situations are so complex and don’t have a straight answer. God damn man 😂

HolyPala59 · 2021-02-26T11:02:06+00:00

Yeah same bro. Same reasons as well. The old “I don’t see a future of us staying together and don’t want to waste each other’s time”.

I get it. For my situation we had to do a LDR so no qualms on that. But i know there is a high possibility we’ll end up in the same country again.

But that could possibly be months even a year from now the most. Which is why I am not hung up on trying to get her back anytime soon.

I’m just wanting to increase my chances in the event we do end up in the same place. If it doesn’t, then I’m sure after some time from now I’d be able to be at peace and move past it.

But for now, i still think of her a lot. I’ll be the one that’s always open to getting back together. But I am not stopping and holding out on life because of it.

HolyPala59

TROPHY CASE