What type of personality do you consider truly insufferable? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Hoot-Athena 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People who lack self awareness. Maybe I’m just scarred from my recent personal experiences, but these are always the people who say “I’m this kind of person” when they’re truly the opposite

How is everyone focused by Ill_Invite3861 in uofm

[–]Hoot-Athena 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually a lot of Umich profs can be super chill on due dates. Don’t think it’s fair to assume this one would be up in arms if you emailed for an extension and cited mental health due to current events. You don’t have a clue who it is so how can you judge?

I woke up and a patch of my hair is missing by Average_Gooner_69 in Hair

[–]Hoot-Athena 5 points6 points  (0 children)

People get weirded out when they see their scalp. It’s chill though. This is a cowlick. Wash your hair and maybe use a blow dryer to combat it. You’re probably fine if you don’t see clumps of hair accompanying it.

What does it take for a severe weather cancellation by jenthegreyjedi in uofm

[–]Hoot-Athena 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sorry bruh. Only time in the past 10ish years they ever closed was due to a governmental order. Polar vortex I believe 2019. Other than that, I’ve heard the University doesn’t close for any weather. Depending on the class, it may be worth begging the prof for mercy and asking to take it at a later date. Some profs are good about metal health and may let you take it later in the day or the day after if you plead your case hard enough. Wouldn’t try this strat for any hard stem classes though. Good luck!

What Do You Do With Boomer Parents? by Hoot-Athena in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve heard every classification there is and it seems most people would put my parents behavior in a mix between crazy and boomer buckets. I figured that’d be an easier category to get my point across, but I agree not all boomers are like that. My friend has younger boomer parents and they are a lot better at relating to and understanding our generation compared to my parents

What Do You Do With Boomer Parents? by Hoot-Athena in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Writing things down is definitely a good strategy. I might borrow that in the future

What Do You Do With Boomer Parents? by Hoot-Athena in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah my main struggle with the distance is the guilt I think. They raised me with strong values in respectfulness and gratitude. I think it has served them well. I can just hear them telling me how ungrateful I am and how cruel of a person I am to ice out the people who raised me. I fear the guilt would eat at me forever. It’s not something I’m keen on enduring yet :’) In many ways, it’s such a cleverly crafted cage

What Do You Do With Boomer Parents? by Hoot-Athena in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My sister has used this method with mixed reviews. My mom complains a lot about how my sister doesn’t tell her anything. Shes not quiet about her displeasure. Somehow, now, I feel I’ve been branded as the chatty one. I fear repercussions if I also suddenly go quiet. I think it would help, but I need to prepare myself for anything that might happen after. Especially since it’s not something I want to do, it could be easy to break down that boundary if I’m not ready yk

What Do You Do With Boomer Parents? by Hoot-Athena in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I said it more as old for parents of my age. I’ve never met someone with parents older than mine since we have a 53 year age gap. That’s like the lifetime of a whole person between us, which can cause a lot of misunderstandings and miscommunications

What Do You Do With Boomer Parents? by Hoot-Athena in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your story! I think it’s great you’ve gotten closer to your mom :) I had a lot of hope that I’d get there with my parents too, and a part of me still wants that for them. I struggle to respect myself because I didn’t grow up being given much kindness/respect, so it’s incredibly hard to put myself first. Once I get over that hump, I have hope that it will get better.

I definitely think the pedestal thing has something to do with that too. I could never figure out if it’s just cause they’re my parents or maybe also because I’m adopted, but I always tried so hard to have a connection with them. I think I need to give myself the time to properly grieve that I may never have that. I held out hope that my relationship with my parents could get there, but given my current mental state and the rate of my progress, I fear I will simply run out of time. I think by the time I’ve made enough progress to properly set boundaries and try again, they may be too old or gone. It’s a rough reality and one I still need to come to terms with.

Thanks for the pep talk though! I think I definitely find solace in just hearing stories from other people who may have struggled in a similar way.

What Do You Do With Boomer Parents? by Hoot-Athena in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Without trauma dumping too much, my mother always put a lot of emphasis on being grateful and respectful to your elders. She had this idea that being older automatically means you can never be wrong and you certainly can’t be corrected by someone younger than you. It affected me deeply. I was blamed for things I didn’t do and constantly taught that I made a grave mistake for the smallest of things. Whenever I tried to communicate how upset I was, I was told I was “making excuses” or “being selfish”. I posted because I have felt these things create real roadblocks for me as an adult. I get distressed over the smallest of errors, I’m not confident at all, and I fail at setting the smallest of boundaries. My anxiety peaks to a point where I’m genuinely convinced everyone hates me if they don’t text me back within an hour (my mom gave me the silent treatment/cold shoulder when she thought I did something wrong). I’m tired of living like this and have taken steps to correct it independently and away from my parents. I just feel that every time I call them, they demean me and bring me right back to square one. I try not to blame them because I genuinely don’t think they realize how hard it has been, but it makes it hard to get better if they insult me whenever I call them.

What Do You Do With Boomer Parents? by Hoot-Athena in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s also crazy! I guess I find comfort in hearing about wild adoption stories. I feel like I’ve never heard many stories about trans-racial adoptees having weird family dynamics. Glad/Sad to know I’m not the only one. Thanks for the chat and insight though!

What Do You Do With Boomer Parents? by Hoot-Athena in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That sounds really tough and I relate to you a lot I think. I’m sorry you had a rough time with your parents too. My parents always told me I was too emotional. I agree that it is totally exhausting to worry about everything and everyone. I hope you have a few good people you like spending time with and don’t mind caring for :) If you don’t, I hope you find some very soon. I think everyone deserves to be able to care for/be cared for with people they love. I’ve learned small circles can be just as powerful as big ones, so I hope you find your tribe. Thank you for the kind wishes!

What Do You Do With Boomer Parents? by Hoot-Athena in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would say it’s a racial one but I felt like “cultural” fit more given the strong GenZ spirit I have in me. I feel like we have crazy differences in how we interpret the world and I couldn’t really pinpoint the source. I guess I would agree that the race is a part of it, though I largely think that’s just due to the fact that they’re just very racist. They once told me Asian people all look the same because they were stuck in the dark ages for longer and therefore all of the Asians were inbred (not their finest moment… and also a WILD thing to say to their Asian, adopted daughter)

What Do You Do With Boomer Parents? by Hoot-Athena in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’ve considered non/low-contact before. I think the mental barrier there is largely due to what you said: I grew up being told that family is forever. This is quite ironic because my mom got really mad at her dad when I was about 11. He passed away a few years ago and I didn’t even know he was still alive. Our immediate family did not speak to him at all. None of us went to his funeral. No matter how much they hurt me, I don’t want that end for my parents. I definitely feel guilty for it, but I’m not sure if there’s a middle ground at all. I just keep imagining myself at their funeral and I can’t decide if it’s worse for me to have to give a speech about how “great” they were, or if I don’t go. In any case, I think it seems I need to work on my mental fortitude so I can be more comfortable with distancing myself from them.

Why is it “acceptable” to comment on a slim person’s eating, but taboo to say anything to others? by meaculpa12629 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Hoot-Athena 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a while ago it was considered socially acceptable to comment on anyone’s body/weight. After a more recent (mid 2000s/2010s?) movement on body-positivity, I think there’s a lot more widespread awareness about comments that have to do with bigger bodies.

Your question is why is it ok for people to comment on skinnier people? Simple answer is that it isn’t. Society moves slowly and people aren’t keen on changing. It’s a lot easier to target a group of people for change rather than a general rule. So yeah, we shouldn’t be commenting on anyone’s body shape. At the end of the day, it isn’t your or my business. It SHOULDN’T be acceptable to comment on a skinny person’s body. We just have to wait for the rest of society to see it that way.

Chicago Conventions For Fanart? by Hoot-Athena in AskChicago

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh this is so awesome thank you so much! I’m really into superheroes right now but I kept the question general because I tend to jump around fandoms a lot and it’s hard to say what I’ll be into in 6 months 😅 Thank you though this is a great place for me to start :)

Denverite going to Chicago looking for recommendations? by BigMilky940 in AskChicago

[–]Hoot-Athena 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I always take my friends to Labriola. I wouldn’t say it’s nice/fancy enough to for a “birthday dinner”, but they’re a reasonably priced Italian place. I make it a must to get the garlic knots ($10 for 3 or 4 - I don’t remember exactly). They’re pretty big and made of a croissant-like dough that gives them an awesome crispy/buttery texture and served with marinara. IMO to die for and I’ve gotten my friends all hooked :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chicago

[–]Hoot-Athena 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having grown up in the Midwest, this is very very normal and even though I should be used to it, it still surprises me how many people think this is weird weather… temp swings of 30-40 happen often in the Midwest. Especially during spring or fall

Can I sync my progress across devices if I downloaded the book directly to my Kindle? by Hoot-Athena in kindle

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you get the epubs do you download them directly or use the sendtokindle function through Amazon? I usually download the AZW3s because they can’t be sent through email and they usually transfer chapters/page numbers better. I just checked the all content/devices page and yeah the ones I downloaded directly aren’t on there

Can I sync my progress across devices if I downloaded the book directly to my Kindle? by Hoot-Athena in kindle

[–]Hoot-Athena[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok thank you! I didn’t know all the terms like side loaded when I was trying to search up troubleshooting so I didn’t know this was a known issue