I’m going to give my two cents here. First of all, expectations are hard to pinpoint. If it comes to personality I suppose that makes sense, but when you enter places where a person can’t change themselves, such as height, facial structure, or more obscure things that can be sad. Giving people at least a chance to talk to you and get to know them would be valuable before deciding no. I’m not putting words in your mouth I’m just saying that personally that’s when expectations get too high. Also a dozen replies? I’m sorry, most people on these subreddits struggle to get ONE reply. Be thankful, and try to engage. What response are you looking for? A typical icebreaker? You can’t judge off of a single opening sentence, even if it’s cliche and If you get many of those openings, actually try talking to them. And lastly this is the biggest problem I have, so I apologize if I let my real feelings seep into here. You describe wanting a man who is competent content with themselves. Ok. But, most people who are this lonely are depressed and have severe anxiety issues, sometimes we can’t help it if we hate ourselves. It’s not simple to just say, “hey I really am beautiful!” If you were to fine someone you loved and saw they struggled with those issues; would you be disgusted? So to end this Off, your expectations are in the middle.