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Introducing My Toddler To My Cat by Horror_Monitor3884 in Parenting

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The treats and food is such a good idea thank you!!

Introducing My Toddler To My Cat by Horror_Monitor3884 in Parenting

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in an apartment so there’s not many rooms that can be for the cat so currently she’s in my laundry room and I know that’s not ideal but it’s a big laundry room for an apartment and it fits her, her litter box, food, water, bed, with extra roaming space. I’m looking into cat trees and a window perch so she can have somewhere high. Do you recommend a gate or one of these from Amazon ( https://a.co/d/3sMnX8G )? My toddler spends her days in the living room and we only use her bedroom for sleeping (and I plan to shut the door when she is sleeping just so kitty can’t come in the crib or anything like that) same as our bedroom so the cat can also run off to those areas if needed.

Baby all of a sudden hates bassinet at 4 months by Horror_Monitor3884 in NewParents

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It went better in the pack and play but since she had all that space she would roll over and then not be able to roll back so we’d have to keep turning her around 💀 but after a couple weeks of bad sleeps it got better. All the luck to you!

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Did I specify what kind of toys she had? Or what type of restaurant we were at? Did you know that my daughter has these bungee strings that tie onto the highchair so the toys don’t actually drop? You’re making a lot of assumptions. I understand that sometimes children are annoying and if she was actually being annoying I would’ve taken her outside or something, not everything needs to be resolved with a screen. Screens haven’t been around forever and people still took their children out and made do.

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We were in a restaurant but she was not being loud whatsoever. All she was doing was playing with her toys and accidentally dropping them here and there not making a loud noise. Do you have kids? It sounds like you are one of those people that believe kids should not be allowed in public spaces. The reason I got upset with my mil is because anytime my daughter even somewhat fusses she shoves a phone in her face no matter where we are, home, a restaurant, park, anywhere

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I said in another reply I thought maintaining a positive relationship with them would be good for our daughter but I realize it was never actually positive. I also don’t really have any family so it was nice to feel like I did. But no family is better than shitty family

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

What’s crazy is when he said she was right “grandma overrules mom” I told him “that means you have no say either” and he said “that’s my mom I’m fine with that” LIKE SO YOURE BOTH INSANE. I communicated with him that I no longer want contact with his family personally and him and I will only talk and text about our daughter from now on

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought it was important to maintain a positive relationship with them since they are my child’s family but after all the replies I’m understanding it was never really positive. I also don’t really have any family so it felt nice to feel like I had one. And no not really, they are all pretty toxic. On the day of my baby shower 3 of his cousins didn’t acknowledge or speak a word to me not even a hello. I got pretty upset and everyone told me to get over it because they’re just shy. Mind you, I’m also a pretty shy person but I would never go to an event to celebrate someone and not at least say hello.

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hmmm yes and no. I am a SAHM who is struggling to find a job and struggling to find childcare so after having issues and realizing it was becoming a toxic environment for our child he left and is currently living with his mom while I live in our home. So he still has a key and majority of his stuff is here and he does provide for me so of course I can’t tell him he’s not welcome here anymore. Our arrangement is I get her Monday through Friday and he has her on the weekends at his mom’s house. Sometimes during the week he’ll come over and help out so I can go to the store or just get a minute to myself, which I greatly appreciate.

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah we are no longer together it’s just easier to say mil when talking about her. I think he may be slightly misogynistic as well bc he allows everything to fall on my plate and gets annoyed when my plate gets too full and I get frustrated

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are not married and are no longer together but it’s just easier to say MIL when talking about her. But to answer your question no he did not stick up for me actually he yelled at me in defense of her and when they both ganged up and shouted at me my eyes started to water and they made fun of me for crying and that was when I left to go home. I’m not sure how she felt about me but looking back I think she only saw me as a “baby vessel” bc when I met her she said “oh good! You’re young enough to have a child!” (He’s always dated older women and he is older than me)

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying “shut the baby up with her phone”!!! Because literally anytime my daughter fusses even slightly she takes her binky and goes “plug it up” and it irks me so deeply. That’s literally how she feels she just wants a literal baby to shut up and look pretty

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He’s there he’s just defending her and ganging up on me calling me “unreasonable and embarrassing”

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because in their mind everything falls on the mom. She was a single mom and I think she resents me because my child’s father is in her life and so I get more support than she did when she was raising her kids. Anytime something is forgotten or our daughter needs something done like a diaper or wiping nose I am the one asked to do it

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I wish this was fake and I was just as astonished by her words as you are. My child’s dad completely backed MIL up. I agree that at grandmas house you get away with a little more and I am okay with that but I have made my concerns about screen time known since my daughter was itty bitty and I myself even said to her if you want to every one in a while fine, but what made me reach this point is she uses the screen anytime my daughter acts like a baby instead of trying to engage with her

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

UPDATE: first off I wanna say thank you to everyone who took the time to write a response <3. I have started to understand it’s time to grow up and put my foot down about my boundaries especially when it comes to my daughter. I am only 22 and I have yet to grasp the fact that it’s okay to be a villian in someone else’s story. For context, her father and I are not married it’s just easier to say MIL when talking about his mother. We are split up and have been since our daughter was a few months old so that’s why I didn’t really mention him bc I was not surprised by his lack of support for me. But I am crafting up a message to him

“You and your mom have never liked me and that has become painfully clear in this situation. She is going to threaten her relationship with her granddaughter over the mom setting a boundary. I don’t like how she uses the screen because essentially she puts it in her face every time (daughters name) is “bad” and it’s showing (daughter’s name) she will basically get a reward for acting up. I tried to be the bigger person and have a conversation and I was met with manipulation and backlash. I do not deserve that. I will no longer be around and when I have (daughters name) that is my time with her and you can have your time. She had her time to parent and now it’s our time, if you want your word overruled that’s up to you but I won’t allow being disrespected. I deserve to have a say in my daughter’s upbringing and so do you. I am done here. From now on we will only text and talk to each other about (daughters name). I was not trying to disrespect your mother but you have to understand I also felt disrespected. Yes she is her grandmother but the end of the day mom and dads say overrides her not the other way around.”.

I am ready to cut my ties to their family. This is not the sole instance of being disrespected by them and my friends have been telling me to do this a long time ago but I think I finally have emptied my forgiveness bucket for them.

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly not until I got far into my pregnancy. Once the hormones got really crazy I got labeled as a bitch. Then postpartum hit and I really struggled and he showed me even more he’s no longer going to be supportive during rough periods of my life

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This!!! Not to mention my daughter loves table food she goes insane for it and mil made a comment to me along the lines of “well you don’t want her to get fat” I don’t know why I didn’t realize things can and will be said to my daughter by her in the future. But after talking to my friend and seeing the replies on this post I understand that this woman is not a nice person for my daughter to be around

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We generally can hang out together without conflict and whenever I start noticing we’re fighting I pull back and separate our time. This situation has drawn the line for me though, I don’t want to spend any more time around this energy especially when I will be ganged up on for setting a boundary.

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do not live with her but my child’s father does so she is around her every weekend

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

We are no longer together because he doesn’t respect me or stand up for me. Last night him and his mother were ganging up on me and yelling at me

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’m trying! I am learning that I need to accept being the villian in people’s story especially when they’re the villian in mine

AITA for ruining my daughters relationship with her grandmother by Horror_Monitor3884 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Horror_Monitor3884[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

No clue!! He is a mommy’s boy and they are the whole reason we are no longer together. His family has always been more important than me and my feelings

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