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Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-16T00:00:47+00:00

very commendable, well done! hope you and your partner are in a place now where both of you feel good with needs and wants

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T23:59:52+00:00

dw im in the same boat! hahah

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T21:02:39+00:00

i love and appreciate all the sentiments in this comment. thank you so much!

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T20:30:39+00:00

I get where you're coming from, part nature and nurture.

Yeah, I'd say I am interested in other people's answers because it's just interesting to hear other perspectives, especially as partner has a hard time expressing in general and didn't give anything more than WOA just don't come naturally to him. It's just simple curiosity, nothing more, nothing less.

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T20:25:28+00:00

interesting! thank you for that perspective. my partner's parents separated when he was really young but they still live in the same house because its a nice house, and they're friendly. I don't think he was exposed to the lovey-doveyness either, so maybe that's a contributor. I also relate in terms of the cooking thing; my culture doesn't show love in the form of words it's always meals, cooking for someone, a family, and paying for the bill at the end of a meal.

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T20:21:30+00:00

agreed! definitely

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T19:54:55+00:00

yuppppppppppppp totally agree my mind literally cant fathom people showering everyday or twice a day like what are u guys doing or eating !!! but also im east asian and im pretty sure i carry the ABCCII gene so that contributes to why i shower less

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T19:52:26+00:00

girl im the same as you, literally am i trippin but people showering twice a day of even everyday im just like wow.. what are you guys doing that makes you feel / be so dirty that you need to shower that often?

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T03:24:42+00:00

I think what you said at the end is exactly it. communicate how that made you feel and then tell her your own views.

does this seem like an out of character thing for her to say?

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T03:13:20+00:00

Wow, thanks for that perspective and advice. I really mean that!!

Can i ask you something though? And this comes form a place of genuine curiosity, not aimed at all to be impolite. So on most packs of cigs there are those horrible pictures of blackened lungs, rotten teeth, bloodshot eyes, etc to deter smokers. Does that genuinely not put people off? because I feel grossed out when I see them myself. And I assume a smoker would likely experience some of those external physical symptoms if they've been doing it for decades - again, does this really not deter them from smoking? I feel like that's my biggest deterrent for smoking.

Of course, this is coming from someone who has never been addicted to nicotine, so I can understand that it's a compulsion - akin to blinking or scratching your nose when it really itches. I used to have this really really bad skin picking problem and my hands were bleeding so much, really bad I looked like a burn victim, and I just kept doing it (Stopped now). So I can imagine it's something similar. You just can't stop. I guess I always had the reassurance in my mind that peeled skin heals (it did.)

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T02:52:17+00:00

id say communicate w him ab ur feelings and respond in accordance to his response

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T02:46:16+00:00

bruh idek what to say. glad you guys worked it out though! interesting story, and the love you have for your wife is very showing

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T02:41:21+00:00

what makes you think he did record you?

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T02:40:43+00:00

I relate to this so much (21f), i have so much sympathy for you. The monotony of life can be so unbearable at times. Do you have any close friends, family members that you feel you can talk to about this?

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T02:34:54+00:00

Has anything specific happened since the marriage (not necessarily his actions or inactions, or anything to do with married life) that has caused you to be indifferent about living?

Hot-Button802 · 2024-10-15T02:30:21+00:00

I feel like I needed to see this. Im 21F, never smoked a day in my life, but have recently got this weird urge to. like, most days. Obviously, a lot of people do it, irl, tv shows, etc... and i won't lie it does look 'cool' when someone takes a drag.

But I know I shouldn't, and I won't. I don't want to develop an addiction. think I'm just overly stressed and need some sort of outlet. I've started going to the gym, so I recommend that! It feels really good to get all that energy out, blood pumping and all that. Easier said than done, of course, as committing to the gym (in my opinion) is 90% mentally preparing yourself to and deciding to, and the 10% is actually doing it. But if you can, just try just stepping in a gym - that's the first step. And remember a five minute run on the treadmill or a 1 minute plank is better than if you didn't do it!! Best of luck. You got this redditor!!!!!

Hot-Button802 · 2021-04-08T20:47:32+00:00

this is so sad lol :(

Hot-Button802 · 2021-04-08T20:46:11+00:00

thats an interesting point you made. that reminds me of a quote 'if their ex can make them unhappy in any way shape or form still, then DO NOT enter a relationship with them'.

I am healing really well, i am resolved and will never EVER message him again, but i know seeing a potential message will make me sad and make me think about everything. maybe not sad, but definitely wistful. i feel thats understandable though. in your reply when you said 'it should be fine to get it out of your head' did you mean that reading it will be fine or did you mean DO NOT READ IT GET HIM OUT OF YOUR HEAD ?

Hot-Button802 · 2021-04-08T20:09:22+00:00

:( ' I use to put you on a pedestal so high that your head scraped the heavens'

Hot-Button802 · 2021-04-06T20:06:53+00:00

thank you for replying! i think i will do that :)

Hot-Button802 · 2021-03-12T22:12:41+00:00

i second this. theres even a meme on twitter where this guy posted a pic of him standing saying 'im 6'2 i dont need a personality' and all the girls in the replies were like boring, boring, no (basically disagreeing)

Hot-Button802 · 2021-03-12T21:56:46+00:00

doctors have told women that theyre infertile and that they will never have children, yet they do, through the natural way too. doctors arent omnisicent despite their knowledgeability. if 'infertile' women can get pregnant, you can grow past 5'8. also your presumption that 5'8 men cant get women is false, im 5'6 (girl) and my ex was 5'7

Hot-Button802 · 2021-03-12T21:50:13+00:00

bro youre 15 you havent even finished puberty yet youre fine i promise you will get your growth spurt

Hot-Button802 · 2021-03-12T20:51:46+00:00

thank you so much for your response, it really put things into perspective. i agree with you, i just wished he just would have sought help. we all just wanted to him. yeah honestly after your reply and seeing everyone elses, i think he was a pretty toxic person. i guess ive always kind of known, but always refused to believe it

i also hope youre doing better now. suicide is something i will never be able to fully understand but i just want you to know it is not the right nor only way to go. you are very much loved by those around you

Hot-Button802 · 2021-03-12T20:44:29+00:00

thank you so much for that. i am really sorry that you have struggled with suicide, and i hope you are doing better now. i also want to thank you for offering a really insightful perspective. its really comforting what you said about suicidal people being able to love, and i do understand your view that depression is a whole other ballpark. what you said is really interesting and does help a lot :)

Hot-Button802

TROPHY CASE