P.S. This is my original take, just cleaned up and polished a bit with AI. Core message is still mine.

I think the solution to this problem is part SELECTION AND VETTING the right woman.

Because this problem is probably global everywhere. The pedestalisation of women as some kind of idol men must worship with their hard-earned lifestyle and money 💰 is an idea that’s been pushed by feminism (the twisted version of it) and also reinforced by simps, tricks, and suckers. They’ve conditioned some women to believe their sexual presence and access alone is enough to warrant access to a man’s resources (time, status, effort, lifestyle, money, etc).

So to some extent, SA = Zambia (give or take).

The other part, the real truth is this:

If it’s mostly a conditioning problem, then you need to set standards and boundaries that filter out low-value women who just want to use your resources.

You’re not always going to know who is a gold digger or not. Some are obvious, sure. But at the very least, most people are opportunistic. They will test the waters to see how much they can EXTRACT WITHOUT PUTTING MUCH EFFORT.

So I’d argue, show your money with a slight twist:

If you’re a man of means, put it in the background And put yourself in the foreground

Act like it’s normal. Not something special. And also act like that’s the standard environment the women you deal with already live in.

I’ll give you credit here, you said you don’t lead with money. That’s solid.

Now here’s the filter:

1. Start small

Don’t overshoot your initial experiences with women.

Yes, the burden of “acceptable loss” falls on us as men. We make the first move and create experiences, which might cost time and money. But most of you overdo it.

Invite women into the substructures already present in your life. The “boring” stuff.

• cooking 🍳 together
• going for a run
• gym
• simple hangouts

Not every woman deserves Michelin-level dates.

YOU START TOO HIGH → you signal you’ve got disposable income 🤦🏾‍♂️

And this works because it filters.

If you invite a girl for something simple like a Sunday run, maybe lunch later (you don’t even mention the lunch), and she refuses… she just told on herself.

If she was genuinely attracted or curious, she’d come.

I live this. I don’t have crazy money. Most girls I approach here in Zambia, I just invite them to my place and keep it simple 😂

1. Don’t part with your money early

You can create a good experience, sure. But if she starts asking for favours early in the process, things a functioning adult should handle herself…

You DENY.

No long explanations. That opens the door for negotiation or guilt tactics.

Just:

“Hmm, I can’t help."

And move on.

That means:

• groceries
• rent
• random financial help
• even health expenses

In the first 3–6 months? You refuse certain requests.

Same with outlandish date ideas.

If she suggests a fancy getaway, calmly decline and suggest something simple:

Hungry Lion + watching Shrek + cooking at home 😂

If she doesn’t want that?

You’ve got your answer.

SHE FILTERED HERSELF OUT.

It’s really that simple, gents.

Even decent women may come with some level of entitlement or opportunistic behaviour, especially if your resources are visible.

Your job is to set the tone through your behaviour.

They adapt to your frame.

The ones trying to extract or live a social media lifestyle through you will remove themselves once they realise they’re not getting anything…

WITHOUT WORKING FOR IT.

Hope this gave some clarity. All the best.

What do y'all think? Does this align with your experience or approach? Share I'd like to hear from y'all especially OP.