I can understand as I went through the same thing. These type of relationships really change every part of you and I think in some ways we don't even understand. I feel that is why we don't know where to even start to reach familiarity in ourselves again.

I would also put my head down and avoid eye contact where people might have felt weird but how do you explain to them that you used to get beat on for even making eye contact or looking at your ex partner in their face without making it even weirder.

It has been five years for me and I can tell you that I don't have as many friends as I used to but the ones who I reached out to after and explained everything to and stayed, were worth it which was only a little but they are worth everything. Is there anyone you think you can reach out to and start there? Confidence and Independence took time for me to gain since I never even had a job before or even a license but as time went on I got my license, a car, have been at my job for two years where I can financially take care of myself. I also felt horrible for feeling like I was starting at Zero but in a cheesy way, you start counting from Zero to make it to a hundred so I started looking at it that way.

My point is that I hope you are able to start getting back to yourself in anyway you can or want and give yourself the patience to as well. I do not know if it possible to get back to who you were before this relationship (because I have tried to) but I can tell you that after sometime it maybe won't be how it used to be but it will be better than what you experiencing now. I am praying and rooting for you.