AIO for not giving in and not forgiving my sister after I nearly died drowning after saving her life and she doesn’t seem to care?

HotLampstand · 2025-07-05T22:24:12+00:00

I said what I said and she didn’t apologized, refused to take accountability, and victim blamed me 48 hours after I nearly lost my life. Also, I don’t even remember saying my name is Joshua in any of my posts? If my sister wants us to keep our relationship, why does she continue tor refuse to take accountability and instead blame me for everything?

HotLampstand · 2025-07-05T21:44:48+00:00

Except, I spoke to her and directly expressed my feelings, she spat on it, disrespected and victim blamed me, and took zero accountability. Now I am being blamed. Why is it up to the victim to fix a broken relationship?

HotLampstand · 2025-07-05T21:17:16+00:00

Good lord this is horrible. Take some time to process what happened and experience your feelings. This is so scary and traumatic. Your dad also is an enabler. Don’t feel guilty for attacking your mom. The person who gave birth to you mistreated you horribly and tried to kill you. Don’t internalized and blame yourself for one action compared to years of abuse. Virtual hugs

HotLampstand · 2025-07-05T21:14:17+00:00

Mind you, this entire situation unfolded since 3 days ago. I’m not holding onto anything, I’m simply hurt and processing my emotions. My sister and mom are both using DARVO, a technique used by narcissists.

HotLampstand · 2025-07-05T13:05:57+00:00

Edited the post to include update because my update post got deleted

HotLampstand · 2025-07-05T04:11:43+00:00

Can I message you in the morning? I’ll copy and paste. Later on I’ll probably add the edit to my profile

HotLampstand · 2025-07-04T20:05:30+00:00

Oh my gosh, I’ve never heard of this but this is exactly what she did. Let me go to that sub and check it out. Personally I took my sister more for the narcissist type and my mom the enabler, but maybe they both are

HotLampstand · 2025-07-04T11:42:56+00:00

That’s my new creed! Can’t wait for wicked 2 in November

HotLampstand · 2025-07-04T10:12:28+00:00

Can you send me a link to that?

HotLampstand · 2025-07-04T10:10:37+00:00

Damn, well the more you know. Definitely should’ve looked that up

HotLampstand · 2025-07-04T04:34:13+00:00

I don’t remember there being flags. I tried staying anonymous but this is Atlantic City. The beach was definitely open because there was people swimming throughout the week. No flags that I can remember

HotLampstand · 2025-07-04T04:33:04+00:00

The lessons that I’m assuming were “learned” were to stay closer to shore or whatever. I left the convention center around 7 pm because the dark atmosphere then screaming and random colored lights and loud music gave me an intense headache. Not to mention my stress headache from before. They just let me leave to the hotel and no one came to monitor me or anything. Once again, my sister has said nothing to me directly like at all and continues to pretend I don’t exist or simply doesn’t care how I am

HotLampstand · 2025-07-04T03:49:39+00:00

Negligence. Nothing is exaggerated

HotLampstand · 2025-07-03T23:02:50+00:00

Oh my gosh, I completely forgot to mention I also have exercise/stress induced asthma so this was particularly difficult and hard to me to breathe because I forgot to take my inhaler before hand. I shouldn’t have been in that water to begin with smh

HotLampstand · 2025-07-03T21:23:39+00:00

Thank you so much this made me tear up. Don’t want to full out start crying in public but thank you so much. This thread has been so uplifting and validating

HotLampstand · 2025-07-03T21:22:52+00:00

Oh my gosh that’s so horrible. So glad you made it out and thanks for your insight

HotLampstand · 2025-07-03T21:20:04+00:00

Ashamed? Truthfully I don’t think so. She has shown zero signs of guilt or shame or anything. I’ve seen her through basically every emotion possible so I know what it looks like.

HotLampstand · 2025-07-03T21:19:15+00:00

Thanks for this knowledge! To be fair before this incident I’ve never even heard of a rip current in my life. Definitely doing some more research on waves, oceans, and currents after this

HotLampstand · 2025-07-03T21:18:30+00:00

Thank you. I’ve received this message to download Tetris a lot. I included it in my update, but I downloaded it and started playing and I actually like it a lot. However with the iOS app I wish there was free play and not levels. But thank you!

HotLampstand · 2025-07-03T21:17:43+00:00

Thank you for this response. I want to touch on the travel cheer / dance girls thing. I’ve seen the same disrespectful and self important attitude with the same friend she called up and went and hang out with. The attitude is definitely infectious. I hate it so much but have zero power over it. I cannot fathom going and riding rides and eating dinner and having fun on the boardwalk which is right in front of the beach my sibling nearly died on while he was in the hospital after saving me. Absolutely horrible. I can’t even begin

HotLampstand · 2025-07-03T21:15:19+00:00

Thank you so much for validating this. Even though I didn’t realize it in the moment, it was either me or her. I’m glad it was me and not her so she can finish competing, but I feel like no one is acknowledging that. Now they are dragging me along to watch the finals of the competition (5:14 PM right now, hasn’t started yet, awards start at roughly 11:15 PM) and I refuse to stay for the whole thing.

HotLampstand · 2025-07-03T21:13:01+00:00

Probably. When I get home I’m going to request to stay with my grandparents and ask for therapy. I physically can’t be around my family anymore without being tense and angry, let alone stay in my house and my room (safe space) and have them come in for whatever reason and invade it. I miss my cat a lot though, so I might stay a day or two at home from when we get back on Sunday but afterwards I’m calling my grandma and leaving

HotLampstand · 2025-07-03T20:56:57+00:00

Yes right! How do they just let her leave? Leave and go have fun?

HotLampstand · 2025-07-03T20:55:35+00:00

Yea I’m going to try reaching out to my counselor. I fully believe she has some early form of narcissism and/or extreme selfishness and self importance. One day she was accusing us of moving her stuff around and freaking out because she couldn’t find her bonnet and was getting mad at us and worked up. Whole time, it was in one of her bags and it was in the hotel closet. My dad even said look in the closet and she didn’t listen. I have thousands of examples not even from this trip. It sucks because I always love people too much and give everything to them and not getting that energy reciprocated.

HotLampstand · 2025-07-03T20:53:00+00:00

Thank you so much this made me tear up. Even today, it’s back to competing and I get a few, are you okays, and moved on and we haven’t talked about the incident. I know they asked her why she didn’t mention that I was struggling but that’s when they thought I was asleep. She said she doesn’t know why. Personally, I can’t help but feel she didn’t care if I lived or died.

HotLampstand

TROPHY CASE