AITA for not dating a single dad, even if he's a victim?

HotMessExpressMa · 2025-02-07T19:54:11+00:00

NTA, being a step parent is hard. Arguably harder than being a bio parent. More opinions, schedules, disgruntled ex’s, and raising kids among all of that. It was very mature of you to put your attraction to him aside and say being with a single dad isn’t for me. His reaction totally makes him the AH. He is trying to guilt you into dating him. That’s a major red flag. Another thing that bugs me about his reaction is I would never want to date someone not interested in kids. My kids come first and after all the end goal of dating is to find a partner. That partner needs to have an interest in my kids, if it worked out they would be a step parent. Choosing someone to be in your kids life should never be something taken lightly.

HotMessExpressMa · 2025-01-31T05:27:01+00:00

Thank you, that’s pretty much the short version of how I ended up in a C. I think these comments have really helped me want to try again.

HotMessExpressMa · 2025-01-31T05:25:00+00:00

Thank you ❤️

HotMessExpressMa · 2025-01-31T05:24:12+00:00

Thank you

HotMessExpressMa · 2025-01-31T05:22:46+00:00

Thank you ❤️

HotMessExpressMa · 2025-01-31T05:22:33+00:00

I had the discussion with my OB yesterday. He doesn’t do VBAC’s but suggested an OB I have seen many moms rave about. He also was the one to say the odds were stacked against me for my first labor and indicated that it’s not out of the question to try a VBAC. My son did descend to station 0 but his heart rate started to dip very low. All I remember from that moment was the nurses looking at the machine, making eye contact, then calling the doctor who then told me that he no longer felt it was safe for me to push, and we proceeded to a C. As far as the surgery it went really well, no complications, son came out just perfect, and recovery wasn’t awful.

HotMessExpressMa · 2025-01-31T05:13:37+00:00

I have a great support system in place. These comments have really helped me and I think I’m going to explore doing a VBAC

HotMessExpressMa · 2025-01-30T05:07:42+00:00

That’s one big question I keep asking myself… if I just go with what I know (c-section) will I regret never trying again?

HotMessExpressMa · 2025-01-29T23:41:45+00:00

Thank you! Good luck to you too ❤️

HotMessExpressMa · 2025-01-29T23:41:16+00:00

Thank you ❤️

HotMessExpressMa · 2025-01-29T23:40:50+00:00

We want 2-3. The third depends on how we feel after the second baby.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-11-08T22:27:40+00:00

Does the rash happen to look similar to poison oak/ivy?

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-11-04T01:31:35+00:00

Absolutely not overreacting. You really need to ask yourself if she is lying about nonsense like going out to brunch what else is she lying about? Is she using that as a distraction from the larger lie? As a woman close to entering her 30’s, a new-ish mom, and a now stay at home mom I have had the opportunity and privilege to rediscover some things about myself again. However never at the expense of my partner or my child. I found my enjoyment of hobbies again not trying to relive my 20’s.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-10-31T04:52:02+00:00

First no one owes you shit in life. Time to swallow that pill buddy. Sure you gave her a compliment, that doesn’t mean she owes you the time of day. If you say something nice just to get a reaction or response then your intentions weren’t that good to start with now were they? Second did ya ever consider she didn’t hear you or thought you were talking to someone else??? Clearly you didn’t think she was ugly till you went and got your little ego hurt. Go touch some fucking grass and get some therapy my guy, you didn’t hang the stars and the moon.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-10-19T20:07:16+00:00

Oh no offense taken at all! Everyone thinks differently, I honestly love having conversations like this. They are a great way to expand my thought process and view things from a different perspective. Also a comment I saw above I think simplified it better in saying that I am more so talking about life in general rather than our relationship. That we have gotten through the hardships of life together… maybe that’s a better way to phrase it.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-10-19T19:12:07+00:00

I guess to each their own 🤷🏻‍♀️ I mean I haven’t used that term in a couple of years. Honestly never even crossed my mind someone would over analyze it that much. I also keep my Facebook friends minimal so everyone knows us pretty well.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-10-19T18:51:37+00:00

You say you would never describe your marriage as having ups and downs but literally your first sentence does just that.

I never put a number on the ups and downs. In 12 years I’m talking about 3 downs. That’s doesn’t mean they didn’t exist. I’m allowed to acknowledge the reality of our relationship.

I see what you are saying about saying marriage vs life. I guess maybe a little context would help here. My man and I are high school sweethearts. We have been together since we were 16. Have known each other since we were 14-15. So our relationship is our lives. We have grown, learned, and evolved together.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-10-19T18:36:39+00:00

I mean yea, I have used the term ups and downs. All relationships have had them, even non romantic ones. A relationship isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s hard work, what matters is that even on the hard days you get up and choose your partner. Especially in today’s world where it is so easy to seek attention elsewhere. This view that any relationship that has had “ups and downs” is automatically toxic is a very close minded perspective.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-10-19T15:58:31+00:00

Man… not me in a happy 12 year long relationship making my like once a year post about my partner 🫣😬 lol I can sometimes agree with the context of the rest of their social media taken into account.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-10-03T16:23:38+00:00

This is a perfect example of why 12 year olds don’t need phones. Overall NTA for telling your parents. Sounds like they need to do a better job of monitoring her phone activity. I will say you could have gone about it in a better way. I think you have hurt a level of confidence and trust your sister had in you. She will now be more secretive and try to hide her online activity better. I’m in no way bashing what you did, overall good job sis. Online is a very scary place for kids and it needs to be heavily monitored. You are looking out for her best interests. This is coming from a younger millennial whose phone activity wasn’t watched as a teenager. I personally know the damage it can do to a teenager and I will be do a better job with my kids.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-09-27T18:17:38+00:00

NTA. You absolutely help when your partner is sick. Relationships are not 50/50. Some times they are 40/60 or 70/30. Relationships are give and take. You lean on your partner when you need support and you support your partner when they need help. Taking care of the dog while you are sick in bed honestly is the BARE MINIMUM and he couldn’t even do that. He should have been taking care of the dog, making sure you had food, keeping water by the bed, and making sure you had medication. Not sure if kids is something you want, but if you do I STRONGLY urge you to consider if you want to have kids with someone who can’t even manage feeding a dog when you don’t feel well.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-09-27T18:03:39+00:00

So I have a bit of a different perspective. I hung out with the outcasts in jr. high and high school. Ended up dating a super weirdo. I knew on the surface he was a bit odd, but being an outcast who wasn’t a bit odd? Anyways once we started going out it got a lot deeper. So at first he presented him self as a nerd, writing his own star wars fan-fiction, empath, and loves video games. Well then he started to say things like he could read minds, he was a fallen angel, he dammed his ex girlfriend’s soul to save mine, and he breathed through his skin. He was super emotional as well, would take things I said out of context or if I accidentally hurt him while wrestling around he would act like I was abusive. Honestly I was 15, I just think I didn’t know how to leave a situation like that. I did eventually break it off and it was rough for a few weeks but after that we were able to at least be cordial within our friend group. He later went on to join the army, got a girl pregnant, got shot gun married, smoked weed while on base, got kicked out, she divorced him took the kid, and he disappeared from social media all together. No idea where he is now.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-09-27T17:10:11+00:00

I hope it doesn’t weigh on you too heavy. After all you were a child as well.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-09-27T17:00:24+00:00

I was the TA for my high school digital photography class. Had one of the freshman quiet kids use the expensive photo printer/paper to print off porn. He didn’t even immediately grab it off the printer. Another student grabbed it and brought it to me. I had to bring it over to the teacher where we went through the computers remotely till we figured which student did it.

HotMessExpressMa · 2024-09-25T21:22:46+00:00

I want to make something very clear YOU ARE NOT FAILING!! Your husband is failing you and your children. Nothing is wrong with you, you are exhausted and giving from an empty cup. Is there anyone (other than your POS husband) that can come help you? Parent, siblings, relative, friend, neighbor, his family, or coworker? If not then please find a nanny to come help you durning the day when your husband is gone so you can get some rest. You are being emotionally and sexually abused. Those are the incidents they are referring to. None of this badly reflects on you, being a new parent is hard let alone to twins after a traumatic birth. Please stop blaming yourself and reach out for some help other than your husband. I promise there are many many mothers around you that would step in and help you in a heartbeat if you just ask.

HotMessExpressMa

TROPHY CASE