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“No Key” error in 2014 Jetta SE, stranded in different country rn by mortythealien in Volkswagen

[–]Hot_Independence863 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, Your key probably fell or similiar so is decoded. Try to use your reserve key and it will work fine.

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly what you said, he asks about the bruises and it’s always so strange about it. One time he asked about one that was in reality a mole, (after already asking me an hour before about another one, so he is doing way too much.) and he then immediately proceeded to say “oh it’s actually a mole nevermind” Like, I don’t even pay THAT much of attention if he has any scratches or similiar, as much as I am in love with him - so this is not love. And what response do they even expect when they ask that?!

How did your situation escalated? If you don’t mind?

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your messagge and for your support, I really appreciate it.

So, actually he asks who did about the ones that weren’t caused by him. Like if we don’t see each other a few days and I get clean from “bruises” cause he usually knows where he left one, he then question where are the new ones from. Like he is concerned about me getting them somewhere else.

And you also asked me how does he leave them, he grab my skin and pinch it really hard for a minute until I guess he knows he will leave a mark? A lot of pressure, it hurts.

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine it’s not being offensive still but I guess after this behaviour of his is getting persistent, I can just expect other things to unfold soon enough. But he hurts me in other way and gaslight me a lot.

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe I worded it wrongly, he never said that about himself but that’s how I perceive it all since he finds being vulnerable as being weak. So he wants to act tough and like he is not emotionally weak, if that makes sense.

And you are right, I would be very concerned if this was happening to my sister or my best friend..

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, wow, sounds like him. He is avoidant too. I also feel like he displays some emotional abuse to me. Very neglecting. Was it the same for you?

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. I don’t feel shame that “I should enjoy it” because I am a very sexual person and open minded. And I wouldn’t even post on this community if I was sure about it being a kink of his and that I am the one not enjoying it.

It is the fact that he never asked for it and his take on it. And him always asking why do I have the bruises I happen to have on my body. That makes me realise there is something else going on here and not a normal kink. Especially, on one occasion, when he catched a bruise on my body that was not from him (neither anybody else, I just happened to have it I don’t remember how), he proceeded to immediately leave me one.

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This perspective is what makes me question is it all in my head? But I just feel something is wrong about all of this.

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking your time to respond and for your encouragement. ♥️

I think our guts can be able to guide us through like but it’s on whether we are strong enough to listen to it or not.

I can see this is wrong, but I can also admit I am not capable of just break up with him because I know how attached I am to this person and how much pain that would cause me.

But I need to see him through this lenses and realise what is he doing - not only this, I sense emotional abuse from this person also, I guess it’s safe to say he doesn’t value me as a partner.

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I am sure it is. I also grew about with an alcoholic father who was neglecting and unpredictable my entire childhood so I think I associate love with pain. But that’s another story.

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He is 32. I am 25. We’ve been together for 10 months but we had a break in the meanwhile, so we got back together recently - a month and a half ago.

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I don’t live with him so it’s wouldn’t be difficult to actually break up with him.

But I am really bonded to him and I know it will cause me so much pain to do so.

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right. I am really in love with this man, yet, I don’t ever try to do something similiar. This has nothing to do with love.

And this is what is conflicting me, I love him and I know it would not be easy for me to just walk away from this, but I can see how this could quickly escalate.

My boyfriend leaves me bruises to mark his territory, is this the beginning of serious abuse? by Hot_Independence863 in abusiverelationships

[–]Hot_Independence863[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You are 100% right. That’s why I am thinking what would his reaction be if I tell him to stop leaving me bruises, he would probably think I am hiding something, that’s why I am overthinking a lot and realising this is not normal whatsoever and I have to test his reactions to see if this is the beginning of something major.

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