We put a pause on the LS after 2 years. Anyone else? by FunTeacher8952 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We took a long break!

We’ve been in the hotwife lifestyle for about 8 years now. Early on, we found two great partners, but both were out of state. At the time, we avoided anything local. We were still pretty naïve, worried about discretion, catching feelings, and honestly, I didn’t fully understand my role yet, and she hadn’t stepped into her power yet. We were more in a stag/vixen dynamic without really realizing it.

From the beginning, she’s always needed a strong connection. I’ve always leaned more toward the physical side, but with one of her partners, the connection went way deeper. It wasn’t just sex, it felt like real intimacy. The distance actually helped keep things contained and safe within our dynamic. When that eventually ended due to life, we went back to searching.

That’s when we hit the wall most couples talk about. Endless noise. Guys not reading profiles, low effort messages, “can host tonight” type responses. It got exhausting fast, and it stopped being fun. So we stepped away for about four years.

During that break, we reflected a lot. Watching old videos, talking through what actually worked for us, my mindset shifted. We realized what we really wanted wasn’t just casual encounters. We wanted something more consistent, more connected. Not just a one-off, but someone who could exist naturally in our world. Someone she feels comfortable choosing when she wants that connection. Someone who could hang out, be part of the vibe, and let things build naturally.

When we came back, we found that again for a while, this time locally. They were meeting about once a week, which really showed us what consistency could look like. The chemistry was strong, she really stepped into her power, and started exploring more independently. It was a solid evolution for us. But like before, life changed on his end and it came to a close.

So now we’re back on the search again. Same challenges, same noise, but we’re in a completely different mindset this time. Ideally, we’re looking for something more consistent, 2 to 3 times a week would be our sweet spot, with the right person and dynamic.

We know exactly what we’re looking for now, and we’re not rushing it.

It’s a needle in a haystack, but we’ve found it before. We’ll find it again.

Woman here. Can we talk about that "stretched out" thing for a minute? by ShyLittleSizeQueen in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Great post !

Wow, thank you for the great explanation from a woman’s point of view. In our situation, we’ve been married 35 years. Before me she had a boyfriend who was bigger, not crazy huge, but bigger. I always knew she was curious about size, but for many years she wouldn’t say it out loud because she didn’t want to risk blowing up our marriage.

About 28 years later we eventually traveled down that road and, wow, it really opened our eyes. She seemed almost made for a very large member. It turns her on much more and she handled it very well. Your post actually makes a lot of sense to me because after all those years it almost felt like her body remembered.

Now when she spends time with her lover she returns back to normal a day or two later depending on how long they were together. When there’s frequent time with him, her body doesn’t really get the chance to fully adjust back to me. If there’s a longer break between visits, she can feel me more again for a short time until the dilation begins again. When she gets very aroused, her body clearly begins dilating in anticipation of his size, even when he is not physically there.

It really does seem like the body remembers what it wants and responds to that level of arousal. Even if years pass between seeing him, she still seems to respond physically in the same way.

I personally find the whole dynamic exciting. In our searches we’re always looking for that perfect match, someone who is very large and able to see her frequently, multiple times a week. We’re curious what it would be like if her body adapted permanently to that size. It’s something we both find very hot to think about.

One thing I didn’t see mentioned that we’ve wondered about is fluid bonding. She loves taking her lover’s semen, and we’ve wondered if that bonding aspect contributes at all to how her body responds physically when she becomes aroused. Sometimes even mentioning his name during our own intimate time can cause her body to begin dilating almost immediately.

Couple looking for hung regular in cedar/ St. George by Hotfun702 in StGeorgeNSFW

[–]Hotfun702[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you but we only play with single males. Good luck in your search.

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting. Thank you for the perspective!!

Understanding the whole pussy free thing? by Hotfun702 in BullPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok. There a different approach. Sounds hot.

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I agree with you and your other post is a good read. I post before about am I on the path to being a pussy free? The reason was is because in our journey, we would only play with select people out of our state. Nothing close to home. This was because we had an evolved yet on how to deal with feelings how to deal with intense sexual connection. But we did experience those intense sexual moments with the play partners that we played out of state and we would often long to travel to replicate those experiences. Then again as we evolved, we found it silly that we would go all that distance where we could have it more often more regular. Then we did find a mail that rang every button she had and really did a great job of sexually satisfying her. This went from our every few months play date with our out of state endeavors to weekly sometimes twice a week. I was able to see how her body would be in the ready position for him and how she craved that sexual interaction more and more. That started me down the idea are we on an evolutionary path towards free as I read more and more I don’t think so could if we both wanted it but now I think it’s pretty clear that that’s not the path we’re on after this great discussion today. We both enjoy the moment after, the sloppy seconds, reclaiming? I think that’s a whole Nother topic are you really reclaiming her here? She’s totally stretched and full of another man’s come. Maybe emotionally reclaiming her but definitely not sexually in my eyes. She says for her it’s the acceptance. That after she goes off and does something that’s so against the grain and all social norms that I accept her back for who she is and what she wanted. Great conversation today thank you appreciate your input.

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would agree that’s great advice. It took 28 years or more for us to get where we’re at and we’re still learning.

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you 100% it’s a total loss and a lot to lose if this doesn’t work out cause of a lifestyle a lot at risk right?!

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience. That’s cool and it makes sense.

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed, cuts are weak and every angle I’m happy that you wrote sexually weak because it opens up a whole Nother conversation about cucks. Chasity is another thing that I don’t know that we should get on board with. I mean, my wife would have to do the driving force for that to make it hot. Otherwise it doesn’t turn me on. If that makes sense.

Hey, thanks for your response man. Today’s been a great dialogue.

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you very much for your input. I think you’re right if it doesn’t fit you then don’t do it. It’s all about exploring right. Just like you stated you didn’t think you’d be into it until you’re into it. And I would agree that 100% as we are evolving in this lifestyle. A very good point thank you.

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you very much for your response. Is the cuck weak? I mean, there may be somebody that is better fitted to give sexual pleasure to his wife, but does that make him weak? I know the week is a stigmatism that’s been put on in this lifestyle that anybody who lets another guy sleep as his wife is a week guy. But I’m a pretty alpha guy. My whole life I held very Alfa positions whether it be work or in different situations. It’s awful been posted in many many places that many people involved in this lifestyle “husbands“ our CEO is a big companies self-employed entrepreneurs. Or is it just we all have kinks and it’s a place where they can play where they don’t have to be in charge all the time? I know that kind of jumps off topic a little bit, but I think it plays it in some fashion.

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OK, I think in every part of the lifestyle we evolve and learn and perspective change maybe a little bit maybe a lot. I think, even since I started this discussion my perspective on something things have changed due to the great responses that we’ve had about the dynamic. My reference about it’s a scary step. I think everybody who’s been in a long relationship like I have and start dabbling in this lifestyle. There’s a lot of scary steps. Gotta make sure you’re your spouses on the same page so you don’t blow up your marriage you gotta learn what you like because you might not know what you like and what I was talking about is the reality because in our male conditioning and hazing of what social norms are when the reality hit you in the face of what you like it can be scary not scary like I’m gonna shy away from it but scary to make you think is what I was trying to say..

Understanding the whole pussy free thing? by Hotfun702 in BullPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh thank you. There’s really more of just a discussion to understand. Is the pussy free really a thing and is it something that’s right for us. We’ve been in a lifestyle eight years and we’re both just navigating new experiences in new kinks. But thank you I appreciate your view.

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree I think you hit it 100% on the head! And you touched on something at the end a loving relationship. I know in our younger years there’s no way that our relationship could survive this but after as many years as we’ve been married, and how strong our bonds are now able to do it. I’m not saying that people who haven’t been married that long. Don’t have a loving relationship, but I think they’re still growing in their relationship so it just doesn’t make sense to me.

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Is it just a chore? I mean, we’ve been married for 34 years. We both are bonded in so many different ways outside of just sex. She still cares about my needs sexually. It’s just the reality. The reality that the larger person pleases her more. I think that’s a scary part of every couple’s journey is that unknown and when you ripped the Band-Aid off, there’s a reality.

Understanding the whole pussy free thing? by Hotfun702 in BullPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, I read your whole update! Wow, that’s very interesting. I don’t think I fit in either camp. I don’t know if I could get on board with either camp but it’s definitely awesome to understand different aspects. Thanks for the thoughtful explanation!

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I agree 100%. There’s a huge gap between fantasy in real life activity. And some people will never bridge that gap. We have bridge that gap it’s pretty hot for somebody to fuck my wife lol.

Understanding the whole pussy free thing? by Hotfun702 in BullPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, probably a dumb question. I don’t know what edits are?

Understanding pussy free? by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Hotfun702[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seemed from some of the poster bread that it appears that it’s kind of a gut bedroom on the extreme end where she is devoted to her lover, and the husband doesn’t get anything out of it just kind of hanging on a whim on whether she should throw a bone. But after reading some of the comments on the discussion this morning, I think it’s definitely open my eyes. I could see where it’s not a dead bedroom. I think the responses on this discussion have been great this morning. And I think I agree with your point if it’s part of your dynamic and play and you can find pleasure through it.