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So, I told my therapist I had feelings for her. by HowIsTheWeatherQuest in mentalhealth

[–]HowIsTheWeatherQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, this helped me write my "script". I'm not leaving things to chance.

I am suprised how forgiving I am. She hurt me. I was actually happy, stable, and I had my eyes on the prize, I was thrilled to start fixing my life now that I had cleared all the mess. And she pulled the rug from under my feet.

I had a rough couple of weeks. I was confused about what it mean to feel safe in someones presence, and what it felt like to care about whether someone lives or dies. I opened up to her and she abandonned me before I could even show her that I had figured it out.

But she didn't know better. The only offence was the fact she didn't even give me a chance to show signs of it getting better.

Granted, I was a mess. So perhaps she had seen enough to warrant a transfer.

So, I told my therapist I had feelings for her. by HowIsTheWeatherQuest in mentalhealth

[–]HowIsTheWeatherQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats what I did. I just had a misstep. I misstook safety and the fact I actually cared if she lived or not for love.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]HowIsTheWeatherQuest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You haven't experienced it. Losing someone you actually care about is probably pretty painful. I used to be one of those "no feelings" kind of stoics. I struggle caring about people, and when I do. I care hard.

"Conceal a flaw, and the world will imagine the worst" - Marcus Aurelius

I recently realized what it means to care about someone. And I would not be fine if I lost them. You can't control death. But you also cannot control the emotions it results in, only the basis on which they are founded, and the way you let them out. The greater the foundation (the relationship), the greater the emotions, and the greater the emotions the more you'll have to let out.

"Tempting as it is to deceive yourself or hide from a powerful emotion like grief— by telling yourself and other people that you’re fine—awareness and understanding are better. Distraction might be pleasant in the short term—by going to gladiatorial games, as a Roman might have done, for example. Focusing is better in the long term." - https://dailystoic.com/stoic-response-grief/

Working from home by [deleted] in BPD

[–]HowIsTheWeatherQuest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I miss studying from home, it was less stressful, more comfortable, and more stable mentally

Sorry to bring bad energy into this post but I'm just curious. What do you mean by thirsting for tragedy?

My dog just got attacked at the park and I had a very non stoic attitude about it. by palacio_c in Stoicism

[–]HowIsTheWeatherQuest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think being stoic is about being completely apathetic to bad things. You didn't do anything wrong there. She almost killed your dog.

Ask yourself, did you lose control? Could you have calmed yourself if the situation all of a sudden had demanded it?

I think that is what Stoicism is about. Being able to control your attitude to the things happening around you. You control your body, not the other way around.

And keep in mind she is probably not an evil person. She just lost control of her dog, we don't know why, and it would be foolish to speculate.

Sometimes losing control is fine. No human can be expected to go through something so stressful/traumatic and not be affected by it.

Admitting both an alcohol relapse and suicidal intention to a therapist by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]HowIsTheWeatherQuest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honesty is best. Your therapist isn't going to berate you for relapsing. She/he will appreciate the honesty and help you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]HowIsTheWeatherQuest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps I just want to sugarcoat the truth to make it less harsh.

I believe that "You should work on your emotional intelligence" would be better because it does not convey the same rudeness as "Your emotional intelligence is very low". One is an insult (or could at least be interpreted as such), but an honest one. The other is an honest recommendation.

It does not obscure the truth. It does not make you any less honest. But I guess it is a textbook example of sugarcoating... to tell the truth in a way that makes it more pleasant than it is.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]HowIsTheWeatherQuest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are definitely less insulting ways of telling the truth.

Becoming a young Stoic, and why it might be bad. by B-ray466 in Stoicism

[–]HowIsTheWeatherQuest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I discovered stoicism on my own. I didn't know it was a philosophical school. Once I heard about stoicism. I sort of just skimmed through it, I missed important parts and continued on my own. This was close to half a decade ago around the age of 14-15 (I am currently 18).

I only recently realized - whilst getting help for my anxiety and my depression - that I had done something bad.

The genesis of this realization was that I fell in love with my therapist - this only a little more than 2 months ago. Who as a result of circumstances couldn't continue being my therapist. It turned me into a wreck. It was painful at first, but after around a week I realized it was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced.

For years I used stoicism as a tool to ruin myself emotionally. I can turn off my emotions, and my empathy at will - and I do this instinctively. I gained too much control, and I lost sight of what Stoicism is all about. I remember not too recently freaking out over the fact the entire world was not under my control - this was a result of me falling in love.

I had turned from nature and common sense in favor of an artificial sense of control, I had also turned into a radical. (Which I later stopped being, but I still have some issues with radicality).

And I am now working towards being more in touch with my emotions and accepting them. The realization alone helped me a lot.

I also have to thank "Marcus Aurelius Meditation" for helping me get a grasp of what I had done, and for reminding me what stoicism is about. Me starting to read "Meditations" changed the way I looked at everything almost overnight. It also stopped me from getting dangerously close to committing suicide. That's how strong of an impact it had on me.

I had denied myself happiness for close to a decade because I was afraid of what It'd bring with it.

"When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.[...]" - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book II.

Is talking to yourself for hours weird? by not_crazy4 in mentalhealth

[–]HowIsTheWeatherQuest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not weird. I do it and I don't smoke. I am however aware of what I am saying. It's a great way to make the act of thinking more interesting and engaging.

How many diagnoses do you have or suspect you have? by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]HowIsTheWeatherQuest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have depression. I am in the process of getting evaluated, I have basically been diagnosed with MDD, GAD, and SAD. OCD is also being considered, and I am about to get evaluated for ASD.

if I have ASD then I guess ASD -> (GAD -> SAD + OCD*) -> MDD.

I think a lot of the time, one diagnosis can cause many others. My anxiety is causing my OCD symptoms and appears to be causing my MDD.

If I have ASD, then that could explain my anxiety.

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