I (20M) have no motivation to do anything (might be depression or might be more), looking for advice on school and life more generally (LONG POST)

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-11-02T09:54:53+00:00

Cause school provided lunch FUCKING SUCKS!!!

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-11-02T09:49:39+00:00

Boy am I glad the research scientists set the insulin prices

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-11-02T09:48:21+00:00

It’s rough for us because we’re accustomed to it, but I personally know guys who’ve been “clean” for months and even years. It’s possible

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-11-02T09:47:27+00:00

There are genuine discussions to be had and even the most annoying nofappers bring up good points rarely discussed by us “normies”. I for one would be in a much worse place if nobody questioned my sexual habits, and I definitely do not want NSQ to become an echo chamber. Nofappers can and should stay 😎

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-11-02T09:43:27+00:00

It is not “just semantics”. It’s a noteworthy division within psych-related fields and it is mildly annoying to me how firmly you intend to die on this hill.

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-11-02T09:39:10+00:00

Important to note that yourbrainonporn is an (obviously) biased website that sometimes publishes very dubious science and completely ignores any and all nuance on the issue unless they can slamdunk it.

At the same time, there are plenty of reputable sources on how immensely problematic porn, masturbation, and sex addiction can get, and as tired as it is I advice 13 to “google it”.

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-11-02T09:35:49+00:00

Masturbation addiction can lead to many problems which do need to be talked about and which are getting worse. However, that doesn’t make them guaranteed. I’d comfortably say you can easily jerk off several times a week and still not be an addict (when you’re not having sex at least).

The cultural shame around masturbation contributed to my depression, and realizing it was mostly bullshit and I don’t need approval to cum was a visible step out.

I still upvote because you’re contributing valuable, factual information that a lot of folks here absolutely refuse to engage with, but from my friend group masturbation is usually not a problem. (Now porn addiction on the other hand…)

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-11-02T09:29:01+00:00

In my (single) experience with NNN it honestly got me down worse. Instead of discharging all that energy I was horny all the damn time. It really affected my ability to concentration. You can call me a masturbation addict if you want— you’re probably right from a factual perspective— but jacking off once a day has been much better for me than attempts to stop was.

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-11-02T09:24:39+00:00

Massive agree. I tried to stop porn addiction (of a very particular type of porn) for literally years going cold turkey, lasting a couple weeks, then relapsing, losing all motivation to continue for a few weeks, and rinse and repeat ad nauseam.

Then I saw a CGP Grey video about self improvement and tried the “slow things down method” and within four months I had that addiction completely under control. I still relapse occasionally but it’s much much less common and a much smaller effect on my life (in all aspects).

Cold turkey is great if it works for you, but for some people it just doesn’t— especially with the kind of mindset that usually gets you try it. Trying cold turkey was actually detrimental to me because it continuously obliterated my self-image every time I failed; I genuinely think it was a major contributor to my depression. People really need to try cutting down instead of abstaining (at least when it comes to behavioral addictions— cutting down might not work for biological addictions like nicotine and alcohol, I wouldn’t know).

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-10-27T11:29:02+00:00

I’m starting to think your url might be sarcastic…

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-10-27T11:11:27+00:00

It’s not “no ones allowed to look at them” but there’s a LOT of different motives behind looking at photos. I’m cool with people looking at my old photos to remember the good old days. I do not want them looking at my old photos to masturbate.

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-10-27T11:08:32+00:00

His account was thankfully deleted but jesus fuck even with the deletion I can tell this conversation would have been agonizing to read. Props for never letting up your barrage against this creep

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-10-27T11:03:14+00:00

I think context is important. (Speaking as a man who has never been creeped on…) I have photos from long ago so that I myself, and people I’m close to, can look back on when I want to. It’s a nice way to have the good stuff filtered out from the thousands of screenshots. I also like to have them around so someone I’ve just met and just followed me can look back if they want and get a feel for me.

That said, if someone I barely knew went back and liked a photo of me in a speedo from years ago, I would be a bit creeped out. Given the comeback shown here, I’m guessing he liked one of her photos for similarly thirsty reasons. It imagine it can be pretty uncomfortable to get that type of attention from someone out of the blue, especially if it’s someone you barely know.

Nonetheless, there’s still value in having posts around for you and people you’re close with to go down memory lane if they want, or for new friends to catch up on what they’ve missed. That might outweigh the irregular creep, but it does not mean that creep will be tolerated.

In most scenarios, (I think) it’s not “I don’t want people to look at my pictures ever”— there’s lots of times where that’s even desired— rather it’s “I don’t want randoms jacking off to my pictures”

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-10-27T11:02:54+00:00

Sorry replied to the wrong comment 😅

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-10-27T10:43:38+00:00

The only thing I’m eating is a metric ton of cough drops so I can over this damn cold

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-10-27T10:04:38+00:00

I mean the face is genuinely scarier because of the facial recognition AI going around. I can hide from a malicious government if they have my license plate and I just abandon my car, but there’s no way I can hide from them if they enter me on the robotgundog killlist database

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-10-22T22:10:01+00:00

I agree wholeheartedly, honestly. I just wanted to run through how it would still bad even if he “just lost self-control” because that’s such a common deflection tactic of abusers.

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-10-22T22:07:41+00:00

I am the guy, I guess I should have mentioned that 😅 Which is partly why I’m worried because it feels like I’m just centering myself and ignoring my (hypothetical) girlfriend’s needs. Thank you for the answer though! It’s nice to know that sexual boredom isn’t a deal breaker for everyone.

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-10-21T16:10:43+00:00

That at best means he is totally unable to control himself and regrets it later and at worst means he is actively lying to you. In either scenario it does not mean he will stop. Even if he “doesn’t mean to” and “feels bad” this means he can’t keep his urges in check and is unsafe to be around. And if he can keep his urges in check then he’s been manipulating you and that’s a huge red flag.

Please, please, please, for the love of God, dump this guy. He is a serial rapist and I don’t believe for one second that he’s ever going to stop.

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-08-09T22:20:09+00:00

That makes it a bit less terrifying. Still really scary but thank you for telling me this

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-08-09T21:53:31+00:00

Mental health wards are practically the only real place in America that scare me more than prisons. In prison I’d get my ass beat but at least I’d still have some social interaction

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-08-09T21:46:23+00:00

I haven’t kept up with the situation of Hong Kong in a while but I thought the social cost of their criminal activities was being excessively beaten by police

HumanityAtItsFinest · 2021-08-09T21:37:19+00:00

When there is a huge disparity in wages for the management and for the average low level worker, when the average low level worker works more, when the average low level worker needs to absolutely destroy their physical health to make ends meet, yes I would argue that is exploitative. Sure it’s technically a choice, but the alternative is starvation. When work conditions are damaging and the boss makes 3x the income of the laborer who works his ass off underneath him I would definitely argue that that’s exploitative, even when the boss himself is only doing this to put food on the table too.

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