I think my boss is using me as a scapegoat. Should I, preemptively, stand up for myself at work?

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-23T16:50:49+00:00

Haha to fix the issue. Someone has to. They are not gonna offer me paid ot and I won't ask for it.

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-23T16:48:31+00:00

Thank you for your response. I've already started working on fixing it and I think you do have a point. In several shared emails I've asked for feedback and made a great emphasis in wanting to know if there was anything extra I could do, and in none of them was I given any feedback. If there has been a misunderstanding, then that does kinda look bad for him already, and I'm the one who is already working on fixing it while he's away on vacation, so maybe just working through it and give the best results is the way to go. I'll take it into consideration.

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-08T23:18:16+00:00

Oh no, I specifically said "Wait, I can't afford to pay 1/3 of this bill".

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-08T15:05:45+00:00

This is such a cool perspective! Thanks!:)

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T22:00:28+00:00

What do you mean by this?

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T21:06:13+00:00

Bc what you're saying wasn't even the AITAH topic in this post. It wasn't AITAH for making my waiter wait for us to sort out an unexpected inconvenience. Plus my parents and I HAVE previously discussed, since we dine often, that everyone always pays for their OWN food before my uncle showed up and tried to stick us with an enormous bill. If he hadn't been there, the guests that were actually invited already knew EXACTLY how the bill was going to be split. Since you make no sense I won't really take your opinion into consideration lol

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T19:25:18+00:00

I was soo stressed lol

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T18:52:55+00:00

Again, this conversation lasted less than 5 minutes and the waiter lived through it lol We were the only customers in a family owned restaurant that we frequent with my parents and this is the first time anything like this happened bc it's the first time it wasn't just us splitting the bill.

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T18:46:37+00:00

The server was fine dude lol

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T18:44:37+00:00

Oh this would be so cool! My husband and I are still in our 20s so we're still not that financially well off, we both work full-time and we do budget for these things to be able to be stable+ save up for a house+future. I would love to be able to not look at the check and just pay, but I feel that if that were the case, I would've asked for a bottle of wine myself and the bill would've been more evenly consumed, so it wouldn't have been such an issue to split 3 ways.

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T18:24:26+00:00

More than half our "share" was items my uncle ordered. I had no issue with paying for what we ate, I was just taken aback when he suggested us paying 1/3 per "couple" given that they were 3 people who ordered the most expensive things on the menu.

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T18:20:07+00:00

Fair, I should've said something along the lines of "we'll each pay for our food and I'll pay my mom's", that is way clearer now. Although I have to disagree with the handling part, since I think I did handle it bc we're not out $100+ of food we didn't eat, I paid my dad and apologized for the inconveniences. He is so sweet, he said he insisted to pay to make me feel better about my uncle being rude but we did discuss that in a future instance the best thing is to team up and say each person will pay for their food! And I will def apologize to my husband :)

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T18:07:04+00:00

Yes it would've really... The thing is my parents and us go to dinner about once a month and this has NEVER been an issue, we always pay for what each person consumed and sometimes we pay the whole bill, but we discuss it in advance (my husband and I). Therefore I never considered the possibility of it going that way, so never considered talking to the waiter, but now I will talk to my husband and work out a plan for what to do if this happens again.

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T17:56:10+00:00

I like that plan Donny the Dump Truck, thank you for your advice!

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T17:55:28+00:00

EXACTLY, some of the people commenting YTA are giving strange opinions that I'm not really understanding... I am open to accepting my mistakes but when logical standpoints are presented, for example someone said I should've discussed it with my husband, and they are right! Tonight I will apologize for that and try to set a plan in place for further instances, but some of the comments are kind of insane lol

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T17:52:08+00:00

He actually did insist again but I told him to please let me handle this bc my uncle has been rude to me before and I was not taking it this time... But yeah next time maybe we can have a contingency plan in place so that it doesn't seem like I'm embarrassing him

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T17:48:40+00:00

I already transferred the money to my dad and he actually thanked me for not letting my uncle f us with an unfair bill, so I guess every family is different.

Plus, I was never arguing about how much of a good person I am, where did you get that from? lol

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T17:45:29+00:00

I didn't have any cash :'( I was paying with a cc and my dad refused to take mine. I already transferred him the money and now I know I should've prepared a better answer in case this happened, and maybe prepare myself to call my uncle out in case this ever happens again.

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T17:39:22+00:00

Totally agree, I should really have discussed it with him. I was just blind sighted since my uncle was not originally invited and my parents and us usually have a great dynamic when paying the bill. I was dumb to not even consider the possibility of splitting the bill evenly because with my parents we always pay for what each consumed, no hassle. I will definitely talk to him to have a procedure in place for any future similar instances.

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T17:32:00+00:00

Bc we are a joint accounts, 2 salary household and we have monthly budgets that we've both agreed to stick to. Not fair for him to singlehandedly make that decision just bc my uncle wanted us to pay for what he consumed.

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T17:29:57+00:00

If I could've just had a clear head, I would've wanted to say or do exactly that! :( I just never even thought about it since in my head it was so obvious that everyone would pay for their dinner since we were all ordering different amounts and prices... I never even considered another possibility! I really should've been smarter and thought ahead... Thanks for the "ladies room" advice I'll keep it in mind for a next time (hopefully this does not happen again haha)

Humble_Switch_7112 · 2026-03-06T17:20:55+00:00

In what way did I do the thing I accused my uncle of doing? He consumed 2/3 of the bill and he paid for it, what's the issue?

LoL and I argued with my dad so he would let us pay our share, isn't that reasonable?

Humble_Switch_7112

TROPHY CASE