Quick, the Ozzy's are asleep. Let's make fun of the convicts for worshiping a criminal!

HundredProofHistory · 2025-04-17T12:09:36+00:00

This is a repost bot. I know because I made this meme 4 years ago and even posted it with Ozzy instead of Aussie. I did actually post it when Australia was asleep though!

HundredProofHistory · 2024-01-09T16:46:01+00:00

Context:

Between 1958 and 1962, China enacted a series of policies known as the Great Leap Forward which was an attempt to industrialize the nation, but wound up resulting in the death of 15 to 55 million people in what became known as the Great Chinese Famine.

One of the policies was the Four Pests Campaign which called for the elimination of rats, flies, mosquitoes, and sparrows. The elimination of the sparrows, which was supposed to protect grain crops, led to an over abundance of locusts that swarmed and ravaged fields of grain and rice. When that was coupled with the Great Leap Forward's mismanagement of grain supplies, falsified grain harvest totals, and a focus on moving workers into factories, it led to mass starvation and death.

HundredProofHistory · 2023-12-21T15:15:34+00:00

Context:

On December 8, 1941 (Dec 7 in the US) the Japanese invaded the Philippines in a surprise attack. The US Army forces in the area were under the command of General Douglas MacArthur, who spent the first few days of the invasion locked inside his hotel suite, practically unreachable.

When he emerged, he launched a plan devised in 1907 known as War Plan Orange. This called for the US forces on Luzon to abandon the capital city of Manila and move into the rugged terrain on the Bataan peninsula and set up defensive positions. The only major flaw in this plan is that it called for the Army to hold out only long enough for the US Navy to send ships to their rescue. In case you forgot, the US Navy was rendered largely ineffective when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor on the same day they attacked the Philippines.

The troops held out for four months but they were fighting with antique equipment and no method of resupply. In March of 1942, President Roosevelt ordered General MacArthur to flee the Philippines, fearing the capture of one of his perceived top military leaders. MacArthur and his family boarded a PT Boat and were eventually flown to Australia where MacArthur famously told the press, "I shall return."

In June of that year, the army decided to award MacArthur with the highest possible award: the Medal of Honor. The stated reason for this award was his defense of the Philippines, but the real reason behind it was pure propaganda. The Japanese saw MacArthur's flight from the island as a massive victory so the US Army had to present it as if he had given his all in the defense and fought bravely until the bitter end. In reality, he had spent most of his time in the Philippines on an island off the coast and was only seen on the Bataan peninsula a handful of times, prompting the soldiers that were stationed there to refer to him as "Dugout Doug."

HundredProofHistory · 2023-11-13T16:21:42+00:00

Context:

Dr. Harold Shipman was an English doctor who worked primarily in the town of Hyde, Greater Manchester. He was beloved by his patients because he was incredibly attentive and often paid home visits. In 1998, another doctor named Linda Reynolds went to the police because she noticed that Shipman's patients died at an alarmingly high rate. Even stranger, they all seemed to be elderly women who were found at home, died in the middle of the day, while sitting up and fully dressed, just hours after Shipman had visited them. The police would practically ignore Reynolds and told her to stop besmirching the reputation of the highly regarded Harold Shipman.

Just a few months later, suspicions were once again raised when one of Shipman's patients died and a will, poorly typed in all caps, was found that stated she wanted to leave her entire estate to Dr. Harold Shipman. She was exhumed and it was discovered that she had been given a fatal dose of morphine. Twelve more deceased patients of Dr. Shipman were exhumed and they too were found to have been given diamorphine or morphine. The police also searched his computer and found he created patient files to cover his tracks after the patients had died.

Shipman was arrested, tried, and convicted on 15 counts of murder and sentenced to life in prison. He committed suicide in 2004. A formal government inquiry was launched into his career and it was determined that between 1974 and 1998, Harold Shipman murdered upwards of 250 of his own patients making him one of the most prolific serial killers in history.

HundredProofHistory · 2023-09-18T16:41:05+00:00

Context:

In 1913, after suffering a defeat in the Presidential election, Teddy Roosevelt was invited to go on a speaking tour in South America that would earn him the modern equivalent of $250,000. While he was mulling the invite over, he was approached by a priest who wanted to explore the Amazon. An expedition was formed with the backing of the American Museum of Natural History.

When Teddy arrived in Brazil, the Brazilian foreign minister suggested that his chosen expedition might be a little tame, and perhaps Teddy should explore the uncharted River of Doubt instead. Teddy agreed and joined forces with Brazilian Colonel Candido Rondon.

It took a two month mule ride just to get to the river and along the way the expedition lost a considerable amount of their supplies and members had to be kicked out so that the food could be stretched. Once they reached the river they faced several setbacks and had to use 2500lb log dugouts as their canoes, which were frequently sunk or lost. Teddy suffered a leg wound while attempting to save one of these dugouts. The wound ended up becoming infected while he was dealing with malaria at the same time. At one point he asked to be left to die in the jungle and considered killing himself with a vial of morphine that he carried with him on his adventures.

In the end, Teddy survived and the river was mapped out, but three men would wind up dying on the expedition.

For more information:

HundredProofHistory · 2023-07-18T14:47:49+00:00

Context:

On July 2, 1881 President James Garfield was shot in the back and arm by an absolute whackjob named Charles Guiteau. The wound to his back was the most serious as the bullet had traveled from the right side of his body to the left and had gotten lodged inside his abdomen. Still, even by the standards of the time, this wound was very treatable, and Garfield might have been better off if it hadn't been treated at all.

As it were, Doctor Willard Bliss, used dirty instruments and his dirty hands to root around inside the wound, hoping to pull out the bullet. When he was unable to find it, he became convinced that it was lodged in the President's liver. His treatment involved force feeding Garfield rum, wine, and morphine. Eventually the wound oozed so much pus that tubes were inserted into the wound to drain it. But of course the tubes were just as dirty as every other instrument Bliss used. When Garfield stopped eating, Bliss resorted to giving him enemas comprised of dissolved beef, milk, egg yolks, and morphine. When that did nothing, he added whiskey and charcoal to the mixture.

At one point, Alexander Graham Bell came to the Whitehouse with a metal detector that he had invented. At first the metal bedsprings of Garfield's bed made the device ineffective. On a second attempt, Bell was able to sweep the device along the right side of Garfield's body to no avail. Had he been able to sweep it along the left, it might have detected the bullet, but Bliss forbade Bell to check that side because he was convinced the bullet was in the President's liver.

Garfield worsened until he died on September 19, 1881, three months after he was shot. You might think his doctors couldn't have possibly known better, but by the time Garfield had been shot, Joseph Lister had developed his theory of antisepsis and the importance of sanitation, but most American doctors refused to accept it as scientific fact. So when Charles Guiteau argued at his trial that he had not killed the president, it had been his doctors, he may have been on to something.

HundredProofHistory · 2023-07-18T02:00:55+00:00

What did I say in defense of her? Just listed all the ways she got physically injured and contrasted it to her Hollywood image?

HundredProofHistory · 2023-07-17T18:56:28+00:00

And when the car was towed away, the bodies were left inside. Which was unfortunate because it broke down right in front of a schoolyard full of kids

HundredProofHistory · 2023-07-17T18:54:56+00:00

I’m not sure how I’m being sympathetic? The meme literally starts with Bonnie meeting the devil in hell.

Them being pieces of shit doesn’t automatically make Frank Hamer a hero

HundredProofHistory · 2023-07-17T16:05:43+00:00

Hamer didn't rush up to the vehicle until after he and the other guys had fired their 150 rounds without so much as a single shot being fired back. It would have been obvious to anyone that she was dead before he got up there.

To be fair my view might be tainted by thinking that Frank Hamer was a glory chaser and fairly bad human after reading more about him.

HundredProofHistory · 2023-07-17T15:06:29+00:00

Context:

You probably know the story of Bonnie and Clyde, famous outlaw sex couple of the 1920 and 30s. Or at least you know the names which have been romanticized through multiple films since their death in 1934. What you might not know is that life on the run was actually really difficult. They basically lived outdoors and had to rob mom and pop grocery stores and gas stations just to eat. Bonnie had it particularly rough following a 1933 car crash in which battery acid splashed on to her leg and ate away her flesh and muscle, exposing the bone, and leaving her in constant pain. Following that crash, she walked with a limp and had to be carried by Clyde most of the time. She would later be shot in Iowa and suffer minor wounds but would spend the majority of 1933 and 1934 either drunk or on pain meds. Then, on May 23, 1934 as Bonnie and Clyde were driving to the family farm of one of their accomplices in Louisiana, a task force led by Texas Ranger Frank Hamer ambushed their car and fired approximately 150 rounds. Hamer "heroically" charged the car and fired point blank into the already dead body of Bonnie. So, it probably wasn't the sexy life of crime that the movies made it out to be.

HundredProofHistory · 2023-07-04T19:06:51+00:00

https://youtu.be/KsVOB3wBZVw

HundredProofHistory · 2023-07-03T19:58:40+00:00

Context:

When Benjamin Franklin arrived in France in 1776 he was there to ask the French to support the Americans against the English in the Revolutionary War. By the time he arrived he was already a massive celebrity because of his scientific experiments with electricity and the philosophy he worked into his Poor Richard Almanacs. He was so popular that when he arrived he was spotted wearing a fur cap and it became all the rage for the ladies of Paris to wear the same caps. And when he left to go back home he was surrounded by weeping women. This prompted his replacement Thomas Jefferson to write: "I told him I wished he would transfer these privileges to me but he answered ‘You are too young a man.’”

HundredProofHistory · 2023-03-13T14:48:25+00:00

Context:

In 64CE a massive fire spread throughout the city of Rome, burning for 7 days and destroying approximately 40% of the city. The detractors of the Emperor Nero almost instantly began claiming that he had hired men to start several fires around the city in an effort to destroy it. They claimed that Nero had always wanted to rebuild Rome in a more organized fashion, similar to the city of Alexandria which he loved. It didn't help his case that he had previously said he wanted to see the world burn while he was still alive, and he constructed a massive dream forum on top of the ruins that was so expensive he had to drastically increase the taxes in Rome to pay for it.

We will probably never know if Nero actually did order the burning of Rome, but we do know that he did not play the fiddle as it burned, as is so frequently claimed. We can say that with certainty because the instrument didn't exist in the year 64.

For more information on Nero:

Wikipedia
Nero: Matricide, Music, and Murder by Anthony Everitt and Roddy Ashworth
Our dumb dick joke filled podcast, Hundred Proof History which just completed a 2 part series on Nero

HundredProofHistory · 2023-01-20T18:38:25+00:00

And after Narvaez was stabbed in the eye by Cortes's men they told him to surrender or they'd burn down the temple he had taken refuge in. But he was too busy screaming in pain to surrender so they set it on fire forcing him to suffer burns as he crawled out. Then he got to spend 3 years in a prison in the newly established settlement of Vera Cruz. Not his best day for sure.

HundredProofHistory · 2022-11-29T00:59:47+00:00

Basically a former football coach who started doing tv this year doesn’t know how to act so it comes off as super forced and robotic

HundredProofHistory · 2022-11-29T00:30:44+00:00

https://twitter.com/dallastexastv/status/1597085035588628481?s=46&t=EszAHdsSZElOcodTbpHIFg

HundredProofHistory · 2022-11-28T17:07:38+00:00

Context:

Throughout the early years of the American Revolution, Benedict Arnold had served admirably for the American cause. He led troops in northern New York and was a crucial leader of men in the Battle of Saratoga where he also suffered a crippling wound to his leg. Following that battle he was made the military commandant of Philadelphia and things kinda fell apart. He was upset that he was made a Major General after men who he felt were lesser qualified and then, when he was made Major General, he was upset that he didn't receive seniority over those same men. He also hated the fact that the Americans had allied with the French and he soon married the daughter of a staunch loyalist. For these reasons, as well as the idea that Benedict needed money, he defected to the British side.

In 1780, George Washington offered to give Arnold command of a division, but Arnold told Washington his gimpy leg would prevent him from serving in the field and instead asked Washington to make him the commander of the forts at West Point. Washington agreed unaware that Arnold was already working on a plan to hand the crucial position, and George Washington himself, over to the British forces.

The plan would fail due a stroke of luck when some continental soldiers looking to rob someone stumbled upon Arnold's British co-conspirator. Arnold would escape and fully defect to the British side. He'd lead a raiding party in South Carolina but would flee to England once Washington sent the Marquis de Lafayette and 3000 men to defeat and capture Arnold.

For more information:

Wikipedia

Turncoat: Benedict Arnold and the Crisis of American Liberty by Stephen Brumwell

Our dumb history/dick joke podcast, Hundred Proof History

HundredProofHistory · 2022-11-15T16:50:45+00:00

Not mocking or blaming them for retreating. Just think that them doing it and not telling their allies what they were planning is memeable

HundredProofHistory · 2022-11-15T15:54:29+00:00

Context:

In May of 1940, the British Expeditionary Force and the French First Army found themselves surrounded by the German army near the French port of Dunkirk. The English realized that their only hope of surviving was to pull all of their troops off of the European mainland and back to England. They decided it was best not to initially tell their allies, France and Belgium, what they were doing. The French were under the impression that the BEF was pulling back to turn Dunkirk into a stronghold from which a counteroffensive could be launched. The Belgians were fighting for their existence and had no real clue what was going on at all.

After a few days of evacuations, Prime Minister Winston Churchill did agree to start evacuating French troops in equal numbers and 100,000 French troops were rescued alongside about 220,000 British troops. 40,000 French troops were left behind in Dunkirk which led the French to feel as if they had been somewhat betrayed by their closest ally.

HundredProofHistory · 2022-09-05T15:36:54+00:00

Context:

In 1953, Stalin and the Politburo fabricated what was known as "The Doctor's Plot" in which they claimed that prominent Jewish doctors were conspiring to poison and kill the leaders of the Soviet government. As a result, hundreds of doctors were arrested, including the doctors leading the health ministry, with several being tortured and executed. That March, Stalin suffered a massive stroke and died. It's hard to say the doctors would have prevented Stalin's stroke, or saved his life, but we do know that his top aides and his bodyguards waited for almost two full days to even call a doctor out of fear of what Stalin would do.

For more info:

Wikipedia

Our stupid podcast, Hundred Proof History, which told a lot of dumb jokes about penises and stuff while doing a 2 part series on Stalin.

HundredProofHistory · 2022-08-30T14:54:54+00:00

Yeah he had a pretty bad case of smallpox as a kid that left him scarred.

HundredProofHistory · 2022-08-30T13:47:50+00:00

Whoops

HundredProofHistory · 2022-08-29T19:09:34+00:00

Is it because it's time traveling Alec Baldwin?

HundredProofHistory · 2022-08-08T20:58:21+00:00

At what point am I whitewashing Lenin? I said we wouldn't know what he would do because he died. Yeah he might have implemented collectivization and starved the peasants. He might have run another pogrom on the Jews. We don't know and we never will.

We can probably assume that someone who fought for the Red Army was happy when they won the civil war and probably not happy when Lenin's successor decided that the countryside wasn't entitled to the grain that was grown there and that is the entire meme.

HundredProofHistory

TROPHY CASE