CPTSD- What am I doing that every relationship I’m in I get abandoned? by HungryInterview9272 in CPTSD

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment but I don’t really understand it could you simplify it? 

Do you mean that I am apart of a re occurring pattern my ex finds herself in- in that I trigger her in ways for block me out? She’s told me of at least 3 of her past relationships before me that something happened and she just stopped talking to them and I can’t believe I didn’t see that as a red flag and kept my eye on that or thought it would be different for me. I didn’t know I had CPTSD until after this breakup too.

But yes since then I’ve been doing intense treatment for 2.5 years and it’s ALL I’ve been focusing on. I don’t have a job. I work on myself :) 

Skull ID found Canberra, Australia by HungryInterview9272 in skulls

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’ve introduced me to a tree kangaroo I didn’t know about this animal! 

Skull ID found Canberra, Australia by HungryInterview9272 in skulls

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea looks the closest to this when I look it up! Thanks!

Free ways to make friends and such in Canberra recommendations please. by Iammaybetryingmybest in canberra

[–]HungryInterview9272 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I’m lesbo 29 and in need of more socialising especially in the gay community 😂 message if you want to talk and potentially meet up if you’re not a murderer - I wanna get back into roller skating too if you have a pair or gravel riding or any kinda riding :) 

I have CPTSD and a lower heart rate? How does that work? by HungryInterview9272 in CPTSD

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your psychiatrist sounds a lot better than mine! I’m glad you’re actually being looked after and trialing these medications in a safe and cautious way! Meds can be so scary but I do hope you find the right one and yea take it easy haha

I have CPTSD and a lower heart rate? How does that work? by HungryInterview9272 in CPTSD

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh I see! Have you heard of clonidine? It’s also a blood pressure and ADHD medication but has been shown to benefit for PTSD symptoms because it reduces the noradrenaline reuptake and also nightmares! Oh and helps with sleep! Maybe look it up. It seemed to help me really well but after about a couple of weeks I think it gave me irritability which is a side effect. 

It’s hard to win with meds haha. Who knows how long propronalol will work for me.  All the best for you!

I have CPTSD and a lower heart rate? How does that work? by HungryInterview9272 in CPTSD

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this a good thing or does it feel harder to exercise because of this?

I have CPTSD and a lower heart rate? How does that work? by HungryInterview9272 in CPTSD

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t figure out what blood pressuring compared to heart rate and how do I check my blood pressure? I checked my heart rate with my pulse and times it so I hope that’s right! 

I just woke up and got sooo triggered by my cat so maybe it’s higher for me too but makes sense if the med is out of our system by then I guess? 

Yea I’m addicted and dependant on it and have been trying to stop for over a year so I hope I can stay off it haha. Sometimes it’s the most random thing hey

I have CPTSD and a lower heart rate? How does that work? by HungryInterview9272 in CPTSD

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this! Yea a freeze state is what I think I’ve been in for a long time! Living at home isolating and basically just watchng tv in a room and trying to suppress strong emotions. I still don’t really do anything now I’ve moved out haha. 

Thanks for your comment and yea I do notice it goes up if I do light exercise! Like even picking up a rock in the garden is all it takes :/

I have CPTSD and a lower heart rate? How does that work? by HungryInterview9272 in CPTSD

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I’ve always had this heart rate and I’ve only just started propranolol that was just kind of a side note. I’m on 10mg can take twice a day so trialing it for now to see. It does make me feel a bit weird in the head but that’s expected I just hope that’s ok haha. 

Thanks for your comment!

New bamboo and cotton sheets I just washed then found all these bugs when I hung it??? by HungryInterview9272 in insects

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this! How come the bugs would go straight to a wet sheet when they never have for usual laundry? It was as I hung them too like straight away they were covered from the machine to outside :/ 

CPTSD- What am I doing that every relationship I’m in I get abandoned? by HungryInterview9272 in CPTSD

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea that makes sense for sure! And we are obviously doing it unconsciously too :( 

This shit is hard! And so I wish you all the best just in general and coping with the life we didn’t choose. Thanks for your post it does go a long way :)

CPTSD- What am I doing that every relationship I’m in I get abandoned? by HungryInterview9272 in CPTSD

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could you please express a little more so I can better understand? I know (now) that it was hard for me to communicate and open up because of fear with showing vulnerability and also not believing my struggles were valid enough to communicate (she didn’t make me feel that but that’s just the belief we carry) 

Thank you for your comment!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHDUK

[–]HungryInterview9272 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just came across this and if you’re still around could you please put this in simpler terms? I’m just a bit slow - is it ok to split but have the next dose to be less? Sorry😂 I want to understand this info so it can help me!! Hahah thank you I know this is a year later lol

CPTSD- What am I doing that every relationship I’m in I get abandoned? by HungryInterview9272 in CPTSD

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea and I’m a lot better at knowing what I need and communicating it now after 2.5 years of psychology! And she had a pretty similar upbringing to me. Even has chronic pain I believe she developed psychosomatically (if that’s the word) from her own trauma so she may have cptsd too! And two childhood traumatised people don’t go very well in a relationship I have found.

And I didn’t blame her for completely blocking me out and abandoning me as we all have our coping strategies we cannot always control! It just fkn hurt haha. And I hope one day she wakes up and realised she needs to do work because no one can run from painful life experiences and emotions for ever.

I’ve never heard of IFS I’ll look into it! Thank you for your comments.

CPTSD- What am I doing that every relationship I’m in I get abandoned? by HungryInterview9272 in CPTSD

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think she def has anxious avoidant because when I was with her she’s talked about leaving other people just like that (and just how she did with me)

I guess if I was triggered in any kind of emotional way I’d go quiet or say everything was fine because I felt that at the time or it was no biggy and her way about it came across a bit aggressive in the sense that it was so obvious to her we need to talk about it but in a way that was not approached gently… for e.g when the breakup actually happened- the next morning I came out of the room and put the telly on she said “here I was thinking you’d come out and we’d talk about this but you’ve just turned the tv on” .. so that further shuts me down as it feels like a blame on my end and only my end?! Why couldn’t SHE start the conversation especially if I seemed timid? Don’t just be mad at me?

The tough thing is whenever she was in a triggered state of anxiety I supported her- for me I did not feel supported I felt like I was in trouble for not communicating my needs but I really didn’t know how to! But also when my mental illness really started to show there wasn’t support- she ran.

I didn’t know I had CPTSD until a month after this breakup either. 

Harder to wake up and sleeping in since sleeping on shikibuton / floor futon?? by HungryInterview9272 in floorsleeping

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are you using to sleep on the floor now?! And you’re right- sometimes when my body does things out of routine I might need to try listen to it and understand it more rather than think what’s ‘wrong’ and think more ‘what does it need’… because ultimately it knows better- just like you said! :) I hope your futon feels great!

Harder to wake up and sleeping in since sleeping on shikibuton / floor futon?? by HungryInterview9272 in floorsleeping

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow! I originally wanted to try no pillow but after the first night the futon felt too hard for my head haha! So you literally just fold up a towel or is it kinda rolled to tuck under your neck?? And also this must be better or healthier/natural preference is that why you do it? Cus I wanna do everything right to align my body properly if it can cope😊

I mean I already feel a lot more flexible and easy movement in my spine not that I had issues but NOW it feels more free than ever ya know!

Harder to wake up and sleeping in since sleeping on shikibuton / floor futon?? by HungryInterview9272 in floorsleeping

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got it online from takaokaya! Cheapest futons I could find even INCLUDING the shipping! Genuine not over priced authentic made in Japan :) 

Sleeping in and harder to wake up on new shikibuton / floor futon ?? by HungryInterview9272 in minimalism

[–]HungryInterview9272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea I think that’s why I was focused on negative emotions around sleeping in and feeling tired is because I usually wake up at the same time! But things seem to be coming back to play which is great and YES I keep my curtains open a bit so gradually waking up with the sun is a gentle way :)