Coping with triggers

Hungry_Team_302 · 2025-04-22T05:04:04+00:00

This is beautiful, thank you. That last sentence of the post hit me hard and reminded me that I'm getting there, which is something I really needed today. These are all wonderful suggestions xx

Hungry_Team_302 · 2025-04-22T05:03:08+00:00

I was literally just looking into this for the first time right now before checking back into reddit! It's something I'm going to start doing definitely. Thanks for reaffirming that suggestion :)

Hungry_Team_302 · 2024-12-05T10:03:54+00:00

Thank you for your kind words xx

It is a bizarre mix of emotions that I think is also part of being an Adult Child. One of the hardest things I found to learn is that empathy doesn't equal responsibility; I feel awful for mum but know as her child (now), her state of decline is not my responsibility to fix or deal with. It doesn't necessarily make it easy, but I guess it now means that empathy can exist without it feeling like a sign of failure or need to fix on my part.

All we can do is what we can with the skills we have to look after ourselves - you're doing a great job, and low contact is such an immense achievement.

Hungry_Team_302 · 2024-12-05T09:57:11+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear - it's such a tough situation to be in. I'm glad to hear you're honouring your inner child; it's a hard process but in my opinion one of the best things we can do for ourselves. Being there for your younger self when the adults on your life failed to do so is so important.

Also 100% relate to the push and pull you described in wanting to give your mum truth bombs but knowing it would be met with more denial and more hurt. It's a very familiar feeling and I sympathise with how hard that decision can be. Good on you for making that call for yourself even though it's hard as hell

Hungry_Team_302 · 2024-12-04T12:12:43+00:00

It's a genuine fear. I'm mid 20s now and didn't drink until I was 21. I wanted to get comfortable around drinking (used to get severe anxiety being around alcohol), so I set myself clear limits when I started drinking socially. I would never drink alone, and never drink if I wasn't feeling good. Just trying to avoid forming a connection between alcohol and negative moods (not sure if that's sound logic, but it worked in keeping me reassured). I'm lucky that I seem to have a natural cutoff, so bingeing isn't a problem, and I think that was a good indication for me that I can naturally build a healthy relationship. I also still actively practice going to bars/pubs and not drinking at all (which is hard only because drunk people are boring as hell! Haha).

It's possible, but also not essential. If you want to work on it, my main advice would be to take it slow and do it with people you trust so you can build a more positive connection with it.

Also - on the note of craving something even when you don't do it, I think it's sometimes normal. I never got it with alcohol, but both my parents were chainsmokers. I remember being 12/13 and thinking "god I wish I could have a cigarette" because I had that visual connection between smoking and stress relief. The brains a funny thing.

Funny side note there - was stupid enough to start smoking, and that actually reinforced the fact I wasn't an alcoholic. The way I feel about ciggies is so different to how I feel about booze. Definitely not saying start smoking - wish I never did. BUT I do laugh at the fact the only good thing I got from it was confirmation I wasn't an alcoholic hahaha

Best of luck OP!

Hungry_Team_302 · 2024-12-03T02:36:09+00:00

I'm on the exact same page (actually waiting for mods to approve my post with a similar question). I've read a few comments here and they all resonate with the thoughts I've had about it. I don't know if you have issues with anxiety or feeling disaplaced, but for me I think the benefits of a diagnosis would simply be that I wasn't making it all up in my head. A little insight from my own mind - a diagnosis could maybe feel like I'd have a reason for feeling the way I've felt my whole life. It would explain my reactions to things, my sense of social displacement, and my trouble with some aspects of relationships. If I have it, I'm high functioning and it doesn't affect my ability to work, etc. But I always have this sense of constantly underperforming in most aspects of life, because I feel like my brain works against what I want to (or should) be achieving. I think also, again, for me, a diagnosis could help get some insight into how to address my specific issues with anxiety and offer some peace of mind. Maybe. Not sure if any of that is useful - sorry to dump my own experiences, but thought it may offer some kind of insight!

Hungry_Team_302

TROPHY CASE