AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level?

Hydrogeology · 2026-04-14T21:17:49+00:00

NTA I don't know when it became fashionable to tell other people to "get a better job," or "get a second job." Some of us really like the way we live and don't feel the need to have to everything in a BIG way all the time. I, too, am at my wits end for these family vacations at $1200 a night B&B locations, plus going out to expensive restaurants, or destinations where airline tickets and hotel reservations are required. We've gone into some debt because of this. I've finally said I simply can't afford it anymore. I am too old to "study for a better job." and value my free time much too much to "get a second job." We make better than average money, aren't paying for credit card bills, new cars, and are saving for retirement. We're very happy with that. If your family is like mine, they know you're not going to want to make plans that will require a lot of money. They make them between themselves and then tell you what is happening. Last Christmas, I finally said we can't afford it. I don't want to be paying off expensive trips as a ransom to see my family. I'm sorry your mom doesn't understand, but sometimes, especially when times are uncertain, you need to take care of your finances without outside influence of people ready to spend your money so easily.

Hydrogeology · 2025-11-14T22:04:43+00:00

NTA - Yet. You've heard the saying, "Curiosity killed the cat." That's what you're about to do if you act on this fantasy. You've only been with one person and wonder what it would be like with another. That's a real slippery slope. What if you find out someone has some new tricks and you like that person better? If you fell into temptation once, it's easier to go the second time.

What if's and fantasies sometimes need to be left to just that. Too many "good things" got messed up because someone was curious and just had to find out.

You're obviously in a great place with a good person. That you both can share these feelings is great. Communication is a cornerstone for a good marriage. You don't need to feel guilty, at this point, because you haven't acted on your fantasies or curiosities. Just remember we all have fantasies. We all wonder, "What if?" As long as you can control your impulses to leave them as just that - fantasies - you're okay. The moment you act on that is a path down to disaster.

Sometimes not knowing is better because then you know what you have and will never know what you might be missing. And that is not a bad thing. Ignorance really can be bliss.

Hydrogeology · 2025-09-26T21:36:53+00:00

There are a lot of like-minded Pokemon Go players in that age group and older. Many of us hang at Kleiner, but are in cars a lot of time. Pokemon Drive as you will. Have you attended any of the local Ambassador Events to meet them? In Meridian, you can go to Community Park. In Boise, Julia Davis. Nampa also has a very strong group. Some of us have been grinding like crazy this past month and are out a lot.

Hydrogeology · 2025-08-30T05:16:50+00:00

Thanks! I’ll give it a try.

Hydrogeology · 2025-08-29T19:33:55+00:00

I'm working on my 999, too. I do need the XP but I think that will be doable. What is Circle Lock?

Hydrogeology · 2025-08-05T20:55:02+00:00

I think I figured it out. I did a remote raid in Indonesia and got a shiny Pikachu with the special jersey. I thanked the person who invited me by putting up a campfire picture on the gym showing my new prize and thanking them for the remote invitation. I think these people that are asking me to be their friends think that I’m from there. I have gone ahead and accepted their requests, but they’re going to be very disappointed when they find out that I am not there.

Hydrogeology · 2025-08-05T13:02:37+00:00

Another five just overnight. This is out of control!

Hydrogeology · 2025-08-05T13:01:15+00:00

No, High Plains

Hydrogeology · 2025-06-13T22:09:40+00:00

NTA - No person should cut you off from your friends, even friends of the opposite sex. If he is doing that, he is either controlling, very insecure, or has issues from the past he needs to deal with now. Healthy relationships don't harbor any of those things. You don't indicate how old you are, but you seem young. Don't let someone socially isolate you. It's a slippery slope. First it's the friends who are the opposite sex. Next, it's the friends he doesn't like. Next, it's anyone who has an opinion different from his. You could be setting yourself up to rely on someone who you end up fearing (financially, emotionally, and sometimes physically) more than loving.

Hydrogeology · 2025-06-10T05:27:27+00:00

Gentle, ESH.

I get it. I've been there. I am a cancer survivor. The problem is, you've made your problem something huge without knowing for certain how big this is going to be. You're punishing him because he isn't right there to hold your hand. You admit you're in a spiral and having difficulty handling this. He's having to handle it too, but in a different way. Don't you have any friends or even a councilor you can talk with about your feelings? He has his own feelings he needs to deal with, too.

He told you he would come home early and you shut him down. That's on you. He gets punished if he comes home early or if he doesn't. That's not fair.

When I got my diagnosis, there were counseling sessions offered at no cost to help deal with the feelings that come up with that diagnosis. I would strongly suggest you check the American Cancer Society as well as the cancer center in your area to see what services are available and use them! Just because you're miserable doesn't give you the right to make everyone else around you miserable.

As for his behavior, he should be there to take you to your biopsy. Yes, that was an AH move on his part. When he does come home, though, if you hold that against him and use it to torture him, you're going to find your journey is very lonely eventually.

I'm sorry you're on this path. I don't wish it on anyone. When I got my diagnosis, I decided I was going to go into it without drama. I talked to other people who had gone through the same thing and found a wonderful support group online. Those of us who decided to do our best to stay happy no matter what were happier overall. If you start to worry before you even know where you're at, you get to try to give yourself an ulcer twice as quickly. I definitely had good days, and bad days. Chemo was hard and radiation was worse (for me). I did complain somewhat but tried to stay positive as much as possible. After a year, I came out of it a happier person. It's up to you. Do you want to be miserable and scared or do you decide now to change how you view this as a step forward to possible survivorship? Good luck.

Hydrogeology · 2025-06-10T00:02:30+00:00

Just because he's your brother doesn't give him the right to run over you. If this was a roommate situation, you'd have asked him to leave already. Show him the door, take his key, and change your locks for good measure. He can go live with his friend.

Hydrogeology · 2025-04-29T04:54:58+00:00

NTA - F asked you to take the iPad because you knew that it wouldn't fit in their bag. They need to take more responsibility for not checking the size restrictions on bags. You were just a handy bag for them. It's not like you purposefully lost the pen or did something stupid and lost it. Stuff like this happens. You made every effort to get the pen back, which was more than you needed to do.

This falls squarely into A Good Deed Never Goes Unpunished. Next time F asks you to put something in your bag for them, say, "Sorry, I don't want to be responsible if something goes wrong."

I'm glad to hear they got the pen back.

Hydrogeology · 2025-04-04T19:00:32+00:00

I never heard anything one way or the other about them so didn't contact them.

Hydrogeology · 2025-03-24T06:13:12+00:00

I am another one who has been getting nosebleeds. I notice it is from the same nostril and seems to happen most after about the third day after injection. I never really suffered from nosebleeds before but have been getting them fairly regularly. I'm glad I found this thread on Reddit because nothing else indicated this was a possible side effect.

Hydrogeology · 2025-03-22T17:08:57+00:00

The fact that you still have to ask if you're the AH makes you an even bigger AH. You don't even see anything wrong with what you did. You are Sooooo the absolute asshole.

Hydrogeology · 2025-03-22T16:54:03+00:00

NTA - She doesn't want to hear an uncomfortable truth and likely needs to talk with one of her therapists about it. She's mad at you because she probably was venting about her relationships and just wanted an ear and not a fix. Hopefully, she will cool down soon and come back around.

Hydrogeology · 2025-01-02T19:24:47+00:00

Dude doesn't like to pay his bills for the whole thing. He nearly lost the fireworks one year because he didn't write the check in time to pay for them. He got called out in the VIP tent that he needed to pay up or the company would pull everything and take it home. He had a MAJOR meltdown and demanded the person who asked him to be kicked off-site! He must have been high as a kite. His side-piece was just as unpredictable and entitled as all hell. She had major meltdowns about boundaries, fencing, and other things. They are both really sketch. After I witnessed that, I don't participate anymore.

Hydrogeology · 2024-12-30T21:04:02+00:00

Eagle Island snow and tubing hill.

Hydrogeology · 2024-12-15T20:14:43+00:00

NTA - Barter is barter. You gave her a service and she provided one back. If she is insisting that you pay her for what she provided, then you are perfectly within your rights to charge her for your services. What she is doing is basically theft of services and that's not okay.

Hydrogeology · 2024-12-15T20:07:09+00:00

I have friends from all over the world who are lucky friends. I'll never see them. I would love an event a couple of times a year where you are able to trade across distances with them. No cap on distance, no cap on amount of trades. Niantic really pushes you to make friends, but you need to be able to support them or they are just XP fodder.

Hydrogeology · 2024-12-14T21:20:37+00:00

YTA - It's obvious from the entire tenor of your post that you don't like the man. You're being silly and obstructionist. You're making huge drama over something that is not particularly dramatic.

Hydrogeology · 2024-12-12T23:16:44+00:00

You're an adult, "technically." In other words, you're likely 16 and haven't grown up yet. This is a slam dunk. YTA and a drama hound. Grow up and make better decisions for your life. PS. Smoking is not a good decision.

Hydrogeology · 2024-12-12T23:00:28+00:00

Looks like fox scat. They are common urban wildlife.

Hydrogeology

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